Madeline's release. | Teen Ink

Madeline's release.

December 24, 2008
By Allison Stucky, Avondale, AZ

The summer night was cool. The breeze was enchanting. The window was open, madeline looked out to the Garden. The flowers danced in the wind, The willows Danced along as well, The Crickets sang a sweet melody. These rather digusting creatures, Created beautiful songs. And that made crickets beautiful.
Madeline looked up to the sky, The constellations Shined ever so bright tonight. Madeline longed to be a star, Not because she longed for fame or fortune for that matter, But she longed to be forever in the night sky. That is where she belonged. She could see herself as a shooting star, Always on the move, Never looking back following her destiny, Whatever that was. Her mother always told her. One day you'll be up there, in the stars Shining ever so bright, never forgotten, always loved. no matter where you are.
Madeline kept her eyes to the night sky. She didn't look At the stars but through them. she longed to see heaven, To live in a world without sickness. To no longer feel pain she felt deep inside. To no longer wake up in the night those reocurring Dreams... what do they mean? The confusion was over whelming. The horror. She no longer wanted to sleep. Never again, her mom wanted Her to sleep she needed To keep her strength.
Strength Sure that was what she needed, that was the one thing preventing her from death, Sleep. She didn't want to sleep, every moment she slept was a moment wasted, a memory, a night of sleeping was missing the sunset, The moon rising, The crickets singing, She didn't want to miss one thing, Not one moment. In an instant it could all be gone. Just like that.
Madeline Didn't fear death. But she didn't know what to expect from it either. She wasn't sure what came after, Was she destined to float on fluffy white clouds for all eternity? Or was she to become a star? Like her mother had claimed on many occasions. Or was she destined to linger in this world as a lost spirit "unfinished business" of sorts. To be stuck in a limbo of Hate, Despair, Devastation, Wishing for more, But never getting there. She feared that more then anything. She didn't want to stay, but she didn't want to go. Madeline was unsure of what she truly wanted. Maybe she just wanted to live, not die. But not to feel pain anymore.
She could pray? But who was she really praying to? Was there a God out there listening? Did he even care? Madeline was just one girl why would he want to save her? Her mother prays, everyday, But does it work? Her mother prayed for madeline's hair not to fall out, But it did anyway. She prayed for her to get better, And she just got worse, Was God listening? Madeline didn't think so. So Madeline didn't pray. Leave the praying to her mother.
The wind grew chilly, Madeline began to shiver. She didn't want to close her window though. The night was too beautiful to miss. Madeline hated how her life had become. she Spent all her time indoors. Her heart yearned to be out, free, She wanted to run, to jump, to dance. She missed all these things greatly. Now madeline's not the kind of girl to complain mind you. Madeline was a free spirit, She loved all, and all loved her. But this, this sickness, this disease, Was draining the life out of her. Well that's what it's supposed to do. But Madeline missed the old Madeline. Madeline missed her friends. They never came by any more. They were scared of her, like she was the disease. Not the person anymore. They felt "Sorry for her" It hurt to much to see her this way. So they Stopped coming by. But when madeline passed, they would come to her funeral, their crocodile tears and there speeches of "oh how much I love and miss my dear Madeline" Where ever Madeline was going to be on her cloud or just lingering around, Madeline would pity them.
Madeline felt weak, She didn't like weakness. Madeline never cried. That was weak, Even through all the "treatments" painful or not, Madeline powered through. Her mother was weak, Her mother cried. Her mother cried everyday. And that just made things worse for Madeline. What would her mother do after she was gone? One day Madeline asked her mother that. Her mother said never to mention death in her house again, Madeline's mother was in denial. She believed That she was going to get better. How? Madeline had no clue, Madeline knew she was dying. But wasn't sure when. Everybody dies, some sooner then others. But either way everybody dies, Death isn't sad. To some it's devastating. To Madeline, It was going to be a release.
It was getting late, Madeline's eye lids grew heavy. She Walked away from the window, over to her mirror. She was white, pale as a sheet. Her bones protruding, Her face gaunt, Her eyes lifeless, No longer happiness, But deep sorrow. Sorrow filled her soul. Once opon a time Music filled her soul, She wrote songs, played her guitar, Dreamed of singing to the world, To inspire, But now she could barely hold her guitar. She couldn't Sing anymore either, well, not very well. Her passion was gone, Her love for music was gone. Everything seemed hopeless. She felt like she was in a pit, in a pit of darkness. Where there is no escape. the only way out is death, and death was the only answer. To die.
Madeline sat in her chair. it was soft, Madeline grew tired. I don't want to sleep. Please don't let me fall asleep. Was Madeline's silent prayer. But God didn't listen. Madeline slowly drifted to sleep.
The Dream.
Madeline was walking through the garden, The wind blowing her hair, It was raining. Little drops of life. onto her face. onto her body. She was wearing a long white flowing gown. it cascaded up and down in the wind, The sun glistened through the wet leaves on the tree's. Madeline continued to walk along the little stone path, The strong scent the flowers produced, the aroma was Exotic, Romantic, Madeline looked in front of her, The flowers were endless, The rolling hills wen't on for a lifetime. The tree's reached up to heaven. It continued to pour. The rain was healing, Soothing, She lifted her hands, She opened her mouth,The rain poured into her. It tasted sweet, like fruit. She took it all in. Refreshing, She drank, and drank. At last the pain was gone. The rain subsided. She looked to the sky, The clouds began to part, The sky was purple. The sun was setting. Suddenly she was flying, her feet were hovering off the ground, Higher. Higher and Higher. Faster and Faster. She flew past the sun, Through the Ozone layer. Past the moon, Out of the Galaxy. To another world, Past all the stars. She kept going, Faster, Faster. Everything was beautiful. Then she stopped. Silence, She looked back and forth. Nothing but blackness. A voice, a still and quiet, almost hushed whisper. "This is your destiny you must spend eternity in paradise." Madeline closed her eyes, Suddenly it was so bright, Her eye lids were shut. But the light was still blinding. She opened her eyes and saw heaven...
Madeline was gone into the night. Disease had consumed her. Death was her release. Madeline was free.

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