The Terrible Tale of Summer XVII Part 1 | Teen Ink

The Terrible Tale of Summer XVII Part 1

August 11, 2014
By JacobTheOrdinary PLATINUM, Rancho Cucamonga, California
JacobTheOrdinary PLATINUM, Rancho Cucamonga, California
43 articles 0 photos 38 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Fiction is the lie that tells the truth."


The last day of Junior year slowly ticked away leaving everyone impatient. It's the last day of finals, no more studying, no more classes, no more homework, for two whole months. This is the break that we all need. This is the break that we've been looking forward to for the past three weeks. A countdown clock of days was started late April in some classrooms. Everyone didn't want to be there. There was already rumors zipping about the school concerning wild parties and specific locations, chatter about summer plans, groans toward summer jobs and conflicting plans.

Then there's me. I just listen. I don't jump into conversation because I can't because I don't know how. I'm not as social as I seem. I tend to keep to myself, especially around these people. These people just don't understand me. Good thing I have Johnny. I flip open my phone, yes, I have a flip-phone, and shoot him a text.

"Bro. What are you up to?"

"Playin' four corners. Final's over so we 'asked' the Jones. More like stormed the Bastille!"
"Alright. Sounds like your having fun." That became a lost cause quickly. I scroll down through my contacts trying to find someone I actually know. There's Kelsey. Uh, I'm not sure. I stare at her name in the list debating whether or not I should send her a text. I look up at the clock. There's still seven minutes until the final bell. I click her name. I type the word letter by letter, it seemed difficult just to type three letters. I start to second guess myself. Just press send. Come on thumbs! Press send!

"Hey" Fifteen seconds pass. Thirty. A minute. Two. Three. Was this a lost cause? Should I try someone else? My phone vibrates. It's Kelsey.

"Hi."
"It's been a while."
"Some may say too long."
"So, what have you been up to?"
"Nothing much. Just normal teenager stuff, you know, like sex, drugs, and alcohol."
"You got drunk and high before finals too?"
"Only after having rough sex all night so I'd be drop-dead tired."
"Sarcasm's just the best."
"Yeah" Yeah. Yeah? How am I suppose to respond off of that?
"Hey..."
"Hi again. And why the ellipsis?"

Because I miss you. That's why. But before I got to type that, the bell rang so you could care less about me. You have your social standard to live up to. You go. You live up to society's standards of yourself while I live up to my own and keep my head down with my hoodie on as I walk through the crowd and get bumped into on regular intervals. As I walk through the quad, I see your face. You stick out of the crowd like a daisy in a field of snow. You're smiling and giggling. You're so cute. You somehow knew where I was, turned straight to me, and made eye contact. We blushed simultaneously but I did it in a much manlier way. I missed us. I stopped to type,

"Because I miss you. Do ya want to grab lunch?" I saw her look down at her phone. She read what I had sent and stayed looking at her phone, puzzled. Her friends noticed her confusion and distracted her with talk about plans for summer and, mainly, the rest of the day. I guess that's a no on lunch. That's right, I got rejected not even ten minutes into summer. I put my ear buds in, turn on my music, and started walking home. Along the way home, there's a shopping center with a couple fast food restaurants. I checked my wallet and to my surprise saw ten bucks. That alone is exciting. I rarely have money in my wallet because I rarely have a need for it. I walked in and placed an order for some chicken nuggets, fries, and a soft drink. I filled my empty cup with tasty, bubbly beverage and found a nice, decently clean seat next to a corner. The cashier called my number even though I was the only one in the dining area at that time. The later events are shocking. Kelsey and her friends walked in, and those are the friends that are still convinced that I cheated on her because I'm going to cheat on someone as beautiful as her and I can juggle relationships like a pimp clown. Sure. I'm shy and keep to myself and all of my wardrobe is either blue or black. I'm lucky I even got Kelsey. But now I don't and it's been an awkward friendship because we still love each other. Society has yet to accept us together, until now.

As soon as she saw me, she ditched her friends and joined me at my corner table.
"Are you sure about this?"
"Yes."
"Welcome back. I missed you."

"I missed us." That's how I knew that she was ready to try our relationship again. She used "us" and that is important. I shared my fries and nuggets with her. It was a pretty good second first date. The events that followed were also quite grand as well. She gave me a ride home and stayed for a while. We sat on my futon in my room while we talked and listened to whatever was on television. Things didn't start getting sexual until she placed her hand on my inner thigh. How was I suppose to know that Wheel of Fortune and futons were seductive? Plus, I have a hickey right below my collar bone that I need to keep hidden from my parents because they still think that I'm so innocent. Anyways, things are changing now that school is over, sometimes for the better, other's for the worst.

This realization that I only have one more year of school left is unsettling. The start of my life is coming to a conclusion. I don't think that I'm ready to start being grown up. Just like everybody else, I don't want to start paying bills or pay for my own food and living quarters. I don't want to start a family. I don't want to leave what I find familiar because I'm cowardice and scared of the unknown.

I told Kelsey this. I think I hurt her brain because she was struggling to take it all in and comprehend a response.

This is only the beginning of summer. I still have two whole months to lounge around with only athletic shorts on, to read and write, to catch up with Kelsey, to blow up alien colonies with Johnny. I still have time to be young and child-like.


The author's comments:
'Tis part one of the summer series of "The Terrible Tale" short story series. This is just part one so be on the look-out for more Triple T stories. The picture is cool and has no connection to the story.

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This article has 2 comments.


on Oct. 4 2014 at 9:35 pm
Vallichor SILVER, Bloomington, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everyone goes through hardships, we just have different stories.

I think your idea was good, though I noticed some of the same problems that Extraterrestrial noticed. I've decided not to mention those, since you already know about them. Anyway, one thing that I noticed was that the sentence "Everyone didn't want to be there." It just seemed awkward to mix a postitive and a negative in this sentence, though I can tell that you were trying to keep the present tense going. If you changed it to 'no one', you'd have to change the entire sentence to, "No one wanted to be there."  You have great sarcasm, though. I know that it's hard to include sarasm while you're writing, so I give you props for making it obvious but not over the top. Also, I applaud you on being able to make the narrators' thoughts be clearer than the rest of the story, like, "Come on thumbs! Press send!". Overall, good job. Next time you should just take more time to edit. Maybe have some of your friends look over it? Sometimes they'll notice problems you won't see. Once you fix the minor problems, your work will have improved greatly!

on Sep. 15 2014 at 6:08 am
Extraterrestrial SILVER, Singapore, Other
9 articles 4 photos 66 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do what I do. Hold tight and pretend it's a plan!"

I apologize in advance if I sound nitpicky here. I probably do. First, you have several cases of missing punctuation. For example, in the first sentence, "...slowly ticked away leaving everyone impatient", there should be a comma between "away" and "leaving." Also, you missed a punctuation mark in the first text your character sends to Kelsey. So it should be, "'Hey.' Fifteen seconds pass."  When writing a story, it's best to pick one tense and stick to it. In this case, you're mainly using present tense, but you started changing to past tense somewhere near the middle. "I saw her look down... Her friends noticed..." and etc. "Could care less" should really be "couldn't care less." I couldn't care less means you don't care at all; I could care less means you care at least a little. Next, when your character texts Johnny, he (I'm assuming it's a he?) says, "Sounds like your having fun" and it should be you're instead. One last thing -- a personal preference, if you will -- make sure there's a clear distinction between each new paragraph. It's better to have some white space between your paragraphs, so they don't look like a huge wall of never-ending text, which often intimidates the reader.   Regardless, I enjoyed reading this piece. It looks promising, and I like your character's inner monologuing. He (or she) is a thoughtful, introverted character who is relatable to many teenagers. However, he / she is sarcastic and witty as well -- I love the line about being able to "juggle relationships like a pimp clown." Somehow you've also managed to make a daily school routine seem interesting, which is great.    So, to sum it all up -- good characterization and a promising beginning. I do apologize for an obscenely long review; the TeenInk format also refuses to separate my review into the appropriate paragraphs... anyway, I hope you post a new chapter soon. 


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