Forgiveness | Teen Ink

Forgiveness

May 19, 2014
By ImStillSilent GOLD, Oak Ridge, Tennessee
ImStillSilent GOLD, Oak Ridge, Tennessee
14 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
There is always a chance of failure. It just depends on how you look at it to see if you truly lost or won.


There was a soft beeping that reached her, soon followed by the scent of sickness and bleach. Lids fluttered open over green eyes. Lillian looked around her only seeing white. It took her a moment to piece everything together. The throbbing in the crook of her arm was a good motivation to look there. A small narrow tube led from her arm to something off to the side of her. Her green eyes followed the tube finally landing on an IV. Lillian screamed and the beeping grew faster. A nurse rushed in and attempted to placate her before finally sedating her.
Her mind drifted to how she got there. She remembered the sound of screeching metal. She ventured deep into her mind to try and recover the memory of what happened. She was sitting in the truck squashed between her brother and his friend. It was late and her brother was taking his friend home. The two would talk and laugh over the top of her head as if she wasn’t there. The cab lite up suddenly and her brother gasped throwing his arm out across Lillian and his friend. Things suddenly went to fast at that point. She heard the metal scream as well as her own. She hit the cool air and landed hard on the pavement. Her head swam and her chest hurt as she struggled to connect how she got outside. She moved her head spotting the overturned red truck she should have been in. Another car rested not too far away, the front end smashed inward towards the driver. She could just make out the hazy figure of the driver hunched, most likely, over the steering wheel. She didn’t spot her brother or his friend. She tried to move her legs, but found she couldn’t. She yelled their names, but got no response.
Everything seemed to warm for a moment and Lillian opened her eyes still seeing the white ceiling common in all hospitals. She gave a sigh and looked around her spotting a tray of food and one of those small bland containers of orange juice that lies. The beeping was slow and relaxed in complete pace with her heart. The door opened softly as if the person is afraid that she would still be asleep. The doctor poked his head into the room and old gentle blue eyes peered at her behind narrow glasses. He gave a soft smile and silently stepped into the room reaching for the clipboard hanging at the foot of her bed. He flipped the page and a brief look of sorrow flitted across his face.
“It’s good to finally see you awake. When they brought you had mentally shut down on the world around you. We tried to get you to talk, but you were unresponsive. If you want I will tell you what happened as far as I know.” He said. Lillian stared at him for a moment before softly nodding her head.
“Can you tell me what happened and where my brother and his friend are?” She questioned.
“Of course,” he said “I’m sorry to say but one of the boys didn’t survive the crash. He went quickly though so he felt none of the pain. And I assume your brother’s name is Eric?” Lillian nodded her head slowly as tears threatened to fall. The old doctor noticed and gave a soft sigh. He walked over to the head of the bed and put his old hand on top of hers.
“Sweetie Eric was mostly unharmed during the crash. He only has a broken arm and a mild concussion and to be honest he got the best of the bunch. Now with your injuries you managed to damage a nerve in your back so you won’t be able to walk again. If you truly stick to the schedule you may be up and moving in a wheelchair or in braces.” He spoke. Lillian gave a shuddering sigh and nodded her head.
“Thank you. I appreciate you telling me what happened to them. I don’t truly care much about my own injuries just theirs. I’ve grown up with them.” Lillian said her voice shaking in grief.
“Eat and rest and you will be up and moving with your brother in no time.” He said and quietly vanished out the door. Lillian pulled the tray of food to her and poked what should have been applesauce with a plastic spoon. She began eating slowly thinking about what the doctor had said.
So I’m not going to be able to walk again. Eric is okay and that’s good, but Drew is dead. I wonder how Eric is and where he’s at right now. It makes me wonder if Eric knows that Drew is dead. Lillian thought not truly caring for the bland taste of the food. She listened to the soft conversations going on in the halls outside her room. There was some soft laughter as well as crying as those who show up either are given bad news or good news there is never in-between news. Lillian looked to the blanket on her legs. Her hands itched to remove it and look at her legs that she will never use to walk or run with again. Lillian crushed the blanket in a white knuckled grip as she began to cry.
The world seems to be against her and all the blame points to the other driver. Where they drunk? She questioned. She didn’t know and she desperately wanted to scream her pain and suffering so all know what she’s going through. She finally tore the blanket from her legs and stared in horror at the thick white gauze wrapped around them. She was an athlete for God’s sake! She needed her legs. The door opened again with a familiar face appearing in the threshold. Eric looked battered with bruises marring his tanned face. His green eyes seemed to hold the world within them and all its pain and suffering. He carefully stepped in seemingly able to dodge the nurses in the hall and change into grey sweats and a t-shirt. His bare feet made soft padding sounds as her crossed the floor to Lillian. Eric pulled the blanket back over her legs seeming ashamed to seem them. His right arm rested in a sling and the other fooled with the hem of the blanket.
“I’m sorry.” He muttered tilting his face down and letting his, for once not slicked back, dark hair hang over his eyes. Lillian’s throat closed with her tears making her unable to speak.
“I should have been paying attention to what was going on instead of what Drew was saying. And I shouldn’t have had you in the truck with me. You had no reason to go besides the fact that mom wasn’t home and she didn’t what you left alone for too long.” He continued to mutter.
“It’s not your fault.” Lillian finally managed to say.
“It was the other driver. Maybe he was drunk or something. He just wasn’t being careful.” Lillian said softly. Eric shook his head quickly.
“No, it wasn’t the other driver. The police came not too long ago and asked me what happened. They said it wasn’t really anyone’s fault. The other driver was drunk and I was the one who apparently ran the red light into the intersection so we were t boned by the drunk driver.” He finally said his green eyes wide as they became glazed with unshed tears. Lillian didn’t know what to think or say about it.
“They also said that the drunk driver lived despite the massive damage done to his car. They said he was so drunk that he never felt a thing. They also said that he can’t remember anything about what happened besides going to the bar. God I’m so sorry Lillian.” He cried falling to his knees beside the bed.
“I should have been more careful. I should have watched were I was going and maybe you would still have your legs. And maybe Drew would still be alive.” He wept. Lillian reached her hand down and placed it on his head. Her bottom lip quivered as she tried to suppress her own tears from falling. She now knew what happened and realized there was no one to point fingers at. Instead they all happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.
“It’s okay. I’ll be just fine. And to think that soon when I get out I’ll just have to be in a wheelchair or maybe they’ll give me braces to wear so I can walk if just a bit.” She spoke swallowing her tears to appear strong for her brother. Eric looked up at her and nodded softly he rose slowly taking her hand from his head.
“Yeah, that’s a good way to look at it. Thank you. I’ll see you soon I probably need to get back to my room before the nurses find out I’m gone.” He chuckled wiping his eyes.
He looked so heavy when he walked into the room as if the world’s problems were placed on his shoulders and now he seems lighter as if someone has taken the world’s problems from him. Lillian thought a soft smile gracing her face.



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