Being a Short Small | Teen Ink

Being a Short Small

May 1, 2014
By LeahAnnaG SILVER, Doylestown, Pennsylvania
LeahAnnaG SILVER, Doylestown, Pennsylvania
5 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Aside from his two missing front teeth, his 4'5 height, and the pair of binoculars he wore around his neck every day as an avid bird watcher, Gerald Small was your average high school senior. Every day of his life Gerald wished he had any other last name in the book other than the one adjective everyone knew him by. When he was in elementary school he tried to change his last name by writing “Gerald Smith” on all his assignments. His fifth grade teacher, Mrs. Hendricks, hardly noticed the three letter difference and Gerald realized that he was stuck with his last name for good.

Although Gerald’s childhood was rough between his height, the t-ball game where his two front teeth got knocked out for good and never cared to get fixed and the fact that the only role he ever got in a school play was Rumpelstiltskin, the end of high school was where things started to get especially hard for Gerald. However Kelsey, his next-door neighbor since preschool, always remained Gerald’s friend, even after Gerald stopped growing in 2nd grade, and they were even boyfriend and girlfriend for junior and senior year. Kelsey wore such high heels on prom night and was already much taller than him, so let’s just say the pictures didn’t turn out very well. Gerald was so embarrassed by the four different, silver-framed 12’ by 12’ photos that were hung in their spotless, wood-furnished living room. Once senior prom rolled around and Kelsey chose to do an over-night visit at her college instead of attending, Gerald spent the night sulking in Youtube videos. This was the day that Gerald’s parents decided they had to do something about his minute height.

Gerald wasn’t too happy about visiting some specialists four states away from his ranch home in Minnesota. His hands were jittering like a dollar store wind-up toy while the sides of his face were filling up with lop-sided circles and zigzagged lines of wet steam. He had no idea what the doctor was going to say, let alone what college he was attending in the fall.

“Well, that’s a wrap,” sighed the nurse as she dried her hands from washing them and looked up at the clock in the testing lab where Gerald twiddled his thumbs on the doctor’s bench. “I’m going to go get your parents then the doctors going to come in with the final results,” she said.

“Any news yet?,” Gerald’s mom said as she walks in the door with Gerald’s dad right behind her.

“No, Mom,” Gerald groans.

The lanky, jet-black haired doctor slowly closes the door behinds him.

“Gathering all of Gerald’s results, it appears that nothing has come up abnormal. All tests were negative and Gerald’s health is in good condition,” said the doctor.

Gerald and his mom and dad spent the week in and out of the specialist’s office and testing labs to only find out on Friday that poor Gerald Small was never getting taller. No conditions, illness, diseases or deficiencies were found. Gerald was simply just a short fellow.

When the Smalls exited the building Gerald’s mom’s face collapsed as she hopelessly scrambled inside her zebra-printed purse for tissues to catch the big, clear, pearls that tumbled down from her hazel eyes. Gerald’s father was so frazzled with frustration that he led his family to the opposite side of the parking lot from where he parked the car, and Gerald’s two tiny feet sluggishly scraped the black concrete with every breath he took.

Once they got back home Lucy, Gerald’s brother who got to spend the week alone with her friend for the first time, wasn’t the only disappointed one to return back to her normal, everyday life. The ball of hope in Gerald’s heart quickly dwindled down and all his smiles got wallowed in the reality he was would have to face for the rest of his life: being 4’5. Gerald began to spend entire weekends alone in his room, either sleeping in his pale green bed sheets or playing Mario cart. He started to make up excuses of why he couldn’t go to school and stopped attending his painting and drawing classes on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday evenings. When Gerald did go to school it seemed as if every push he got in the hallway were on-purpose. Every night during dinner with his family Gerald sat there looking down and his plate and tossing around his green beans as his parents and sister blabbed on about their days and how funny the recent Modern Family episode was. Gerald’s problem of being too short turned into something bigger for his dwindling confidence.

Gerald’s parents began to worry about him and started having second thoughts about sending him off to college, but they knew that college would be a good experience for him to start over and branch out, so they decided it was best to have Gerald start seeing a therapist. Gerald’s therapist Sam was an older woman who always wore crystal dangly earrings and took notes with her purple ball-point Bic pen and Staples notepad. Every Wednesday evening Gerald dreaded going to her office even though all he had to do was open his front door, walk down the driveway, turn left and walk about ½ mile into town to the stone-brick building.

Some weeks Sam brought a hand-held mirror and made Gerald hold it up to his face and say positive affirmations. Other weeks she would make him stand up on a chair while she would sit on the ground as they discussed strategies and things to say when someone commented on his height. Sam suggested that Gerald start a journal to write one positive thing and one thing he’s grateful for every night, and that is just what he did. Every week right before Gerald walked out of her office, Sam made him say one thing he liked about himself that couldn’t have to do with his appearance. When Gerald was frustrated Sam would turn the lights out and keep them off to show Gerald that in the grand scheme of life, height doesn’t really matter.

By the end of the summer Gerald was up from his bed again and even painting some landscape with his easel and watercolors in the park and on his porch. Still not comfortable in his own skin but being able to look past it when needed and focus on other things. He realized that being taller wouldn’t change who he is a person nor make his life really that much better than it is. He learned how grateful he is for his loving, supportive family, education, good health, home, and that his quirky, short self is part of what makes him the one and only Gerald Small. He felt ready to go off to college and embark a new journey that wasn’t going to be controlled by his height.

Move in day at Crown College was just another adventure for the Smalls. Lucy hung up all of Gerald’s posters against the cement walls on his side of the room as Gerald’s mom made his bed and Gerald and his dad carried up the rest of his belongings up two flights of steps. After some tears, long hugs, prayers, and cheesy freshman-orientation exercises, Gerald Small felt he no longer needed to be tall.



Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 0 comments.