“Good morning, my love.” Her soft hands embraced his face as she leaned in to plant a listless kiss on his forehead, now muddled by wrinkles of stress and solitude.

“You’ll tell her today, right? About everything? Steve?” The cheetah-print curtains let in occasional patches of sunlight, as the dark, cumulous clouds concealed the sun from revealing its warmth on that unusually chilly April morning in San Francisco.

“Don’t worry, Stace. I got it.” He washed up quickly, slipped on his wrinkled suit scattered throughout the bedroom floor, and gathered his briefcase and paperwork together, finally looking back at Stacey still curled up in bed.

“I’ll be back in a month and we can sort out everything then, ok? Bye Stace.”

He thought about her the whole ride. How he proposed to her, a girl he had known for not more than a year, how she dropped out of college to raise their Lillian, how she made him laugh everyday and helped him finish his degree. It would hit little Lilly the hardest; how could she understand what he was going through when times were changing so rapidly? She simply could not. Merely a three-year-old, she was sadly too innocent, too benign. Just then, “Endless Love” pervaded throughout the car, filling his mind and seizing his soul… “My love, there’s only you in my life…” He immediately flinched and turned off the radio, sliding the down the window and riding home in solitude thereafter.

He pulled into the driveway in the early afternoon and walked towards the backyard. A typical sight: Lilly, by the swing set, gently sliding each one of her dolls down the slide, and Meredith, tending to her vegetable garden, digging up another bed for a new project. The sun caressed her naturally tanned face, illuminating the few beads of sweat forming on her forehead. Her curly, auburn hair fell over her shoulders and concealed her slender arms, as she turned around to see him standing there. A warm smile, his welcoming committee, complete with soft dimples around her luscious lips, usurped her entire face. She called to Lilly, “Honey, Daddy’s home!” Lilly carefully gathered her dolls and frolicked over to her mother.

Once inside, Meredith quietly fixed up a hot tea without any prompting. Steve lackadaisically threw off his jacket and stored his briefcase and papers in their routine positions. He promptly retrieved his iPad and began surfing the web superficially. Lilly ran up to him and embraced him as tight as she could with her small arms. He carried her in his grasp and rested his head on her soft, brown hair, curly like her mother’s, for only thirty seconds before she pulled away from him, wanting to go back to playing with her dolls.

“So, how was your conference? Did you meet that director you wanted to meet? Is he the one that offered you a manager position and a signing bonus? Was the food at the conference any good?” He mindlessly answered a simple yes or no to each question, claiming that the conference was both satisfying and invigorating.

“Lilly’s been learning how to count up to ten this week and has been torturing me with practice everyday. The plumber came yesterday to fix the upstairs sink, so I think that’s going to be easier for you now in the mornings. Also, these bills came in…”

Her voice droned on as he simply nodded. She always asked too many questions, flooded him with miscellaneous comments, searching and digging for anything to spark conversation. He always thought she feared silence. Silence in conversation, to her, meant emptiness, a world bereft of intimacy, an environment she could not bare.

“I, uh, went to the doctor yesterday…”

“Daddy! Come play dollies with me. Sara wants a tea party again. And you promised you would play once you come back. Please,” she begged, tugging his arm firmly.

“Hold on, sweetie. Let Daddy have his tea first. Then, I’ll come and play tea party with you, ok? Why don’t you go up to your room and wait for me. I will be there in a bit.”

Meredith brought over the tea, piping hot, sitting next to him, looking up at his face, hoping, yearning for some sign of empathy that would show he cared.

“Meredith, we need to talk.” He turned toward her now. Wrinkles were creeping across her forehead. Dark circles manifested themselves beneath her amber eyes. Has she always had wrinkles? Lack of sleep recently? He did not care enough for one of her long-winded answers, however. He glanced back down at his iPad, finding this intimate eye contact too much.

“Meredith, I’m going to be honest with you. Honey, I want a divorce. I don’t feel anything between us anymore. I mean, I know college and the past ten years have been memorable, but more and more I’m finding that we may have just been immature lovebirds. I don’t want to make you suffer since I feel this way, so I thought I would tell you.” She stood, frozen in shock. Her eyes curled questioningly, wondering if she was actually hearing these piercing words right now. Her mouth opened slightly, as if to make a comment, but she immediately held back, rose from the table, and walked in silence up to her bedroom, closing the door behind her gradually.

She came down only to prepare dinner in the evening and ate quietly at the table, without sparking any superfluous conversation. After dinner, she washed the dishes and cleaned the kitchen, while he stood watchfully in the living room. She approached him swiftly with an indescribable beat in her step.

“If you really feel this way, there is no way I can stop it. However, I have a few conditions. First off, I need you to hold off on everything for another… three months, please. It’s for, um… sweet Lilly and her graduation from daycare. We should be… at least look held together for that event. The parents and grandparents will all be there.” She sighed and continued.

“You’ve given me a huge shock right now, so you at least owe me this other thing too. I want to make a daffodil garden in the back. I was digging the bed today. When you come back from work from now on, you have to sit with me and plant one flower, just one daffodil, everyday. I want to fill the whole bed with them because I’ve decided that they’re my favorite flowers. This will be our final project together… our final gardening project that is. What do you say?” She folded her hands across her chest and stared up at him hopefully.

He shook his head and rolled his eyes, wondering how his wife always asked for the strangest terms. After all, this was a divorce, not some meager vacation he was taking. Finally, he agreed and went off to bed, drifting off into a disturbed slumber.

The next day, he came back from work and noticed Meredith outside, waiting promptly near the bare bed. Lilly sat beside her leaning against her chest. He changed from his work clothes and joined them mechanically. Her gentle hands showed him how to remove the plastic container and soil the daffodils came in, dig up the new soil, and gently place the daffodil and its roots in, securing it with more soil from the sides and ensuring its growth and development. He attempted this, as it seemed easy enough, fidgeting with the container and stumbling with the stem, but his rigid fingers could not achieve the delicacy of a mother’s touch. Meredith grinned as she adjusted his work, while he walked away, satisfied to have fulfilled his task for that day.

Everyday for the next few weeks, he planted one daffodil with Meredith and Lilly, and, soon, it became just another part of the routine. Lilly joyfully followed her parents everyday as they would plant a daffodil and share a few laughs. The conversations started to flow and, with each daffodil the garden grew stronger, brighter, almost happier. Even when he had late nights at work, Lilly and Meredith would stay up to share the walk to the flowerbed, the planting of the daffodil, and the walk back to the house.

One day, as they were deeply involved in conversation, he asked if she saw an email about an upcoming graduation party for a friend’s son.

“Oh yes, I did indeed! It comes as a surprise, huh? He was extremely intelligent, but just goes to show that colleges aren’t just looking for lazy lovebirds who would goof around, right?”

They looked up at one another and shared a long, wholesome laugh to which Lilly inquired, “Hey, what was so funny?”

“What was so funny? What was so funny? You’re asking me that, Lilly? Come here you!” He cradled her in his arms and threw her gently in the grass, nuzzling his face to hers and tickling her sides. Meredith also joined in as much as she could, teasing Lilly, as the sun set with a vibrant crimson over their heads.

A month had passed and it was time for him to meet Stacey once again at a local coffee shop. She asked where he had been and why he had not responded to her emails and texts. Claiming he was busy, Steve constantly reminded himself that he had to buy more daffodils today, as Meredith had to run some other errands. He would have to leave time to stop at the local florist. Is there a decent florist around here, he wondered. Maybe two blocks down…

“Steve?! I’m asking you a question? Where’s the divorce paperwork? What did she say? What happened to you? You look lost, like you’re in a daze. I can’t wait here forever to get married to the man of my dreams. I’m running out of money for rent already! I need this Steve… and you need it to. You’re not rethinking your promise to me, are you?”

Promise? The only promise he made today was to buy more daffodils. Wait, but he had also promised Meredith that he would postpone any divorce paperwork until another two months. He delayed in answering Stacey’s abrupt question to which she angrily stood up and leaned in close to him, whispering furiously, “Don’t mess anything up now, Steve. Don’t be weak like her. I’ll see you next month.” He sat pensively, sipping his cold tea for another five minutes. For some reason, this tea just could not match Meredith’s distinctive standards.

After stopping at the florist and returning home, he noticed neither Meredith nor Lilly was home yet, which was strange, considering Lilly would always finish daycare at noon and Meredith would always pick her up. He waited for an hour until they finally arrived.

“Sorry, honey. My errands ran over what I expected. Did you get a chance to pick up those daffodils? If not, I can run and get them now.”

“Right here. You ok? You look a little stressed. Can I get something for you?” He was worried about her. She had lost a lot of weight recently and seemed to grow tired and weaker everyday.

“I’m fine, don’t worry. Let’s plant these daffodils,” she exclaimed with her habitually pleasant smile.

The next day, Steve came home to Meredith sitting on the patio with no Lillian in sight. He opened the patio door and walked out until he was behind her chair, as she still stared at her daffodil bed.

“Hi honey. Where’s, um… where’s Lillian? Do you want me to pick her up from daycare today?” He finally walked around to view her face and, from that moment, he could tell something was wrong. She did not seem right, at all. He kneeled down beside her and put his hand on hers, consoling her, craving for her to fill him with her thoughts, her commentaries.

“I’ve dropped her at my sister’s today. I don’t feel good, Steve. It’s just a late spring flu, the doctor says, but I don’t want her to contract anything now, so I want to keep her away until I get better, another week or so the doctor said.” Steve, shocked at the terseness of this conversation, attempted to analyze her and feel her forehead for a temperature, but she pushed his hand away softly and said she will be fine. She would watch him from the patio itself as he planted the daffodil, professing that it strained her to walk distances. So he did just that.

A full week passed by without Lillian, as Meredith seemed to get better day-by-day. They called Lillian every night to check up on her and, of course, she was having a blast with her cousins. However, Meredith asserted that the doctor still did not want Lillian back home just yet.

Finally, after a whole month of Lillian’s absence, Steve pulled in to the driveway one day to see Meredith’s car gone. Meredith barely had the energy to walk to the backyard, he thought. How could she take the car anywhere? Anxiously, he called her cell phone. Another woman picked up, a nurse he found out.

“Yes, Steve, right? She knew you would call. Steve, I’m going to have to ask you to come to the Memorial Hospital immediately. Everything’s going to be fine.” Startled and confused, he drove quickly to the Hospital, a full hour away.

The assistants escorted him to oncology. Oncology? There must be some mistake. However, once he entered the department, he saw them. Everyone. Meredith’s sister, brother-in-law, grandparents, even little Lilly. Most were tearing or sobbing, but they all paused when they saw his bewildered expression. A doctor asked him to come into his office to discuss what was happening.

“We only realized when it was too late, Mr. Wesley. It had spread to her liver and kidney as well. We gave her a fourteen percent survival expectancy and about three months. Today, however, she came in with bleeding and nauseating pain in her stomach and…” Seeing the blank expression on Steve’s face, the doctor paused in his briefing and offered Steve some food or water. Steve firmly said no and asked if she had left anything for him, anything that would explain all of this.

“A note, a letter, please Doctor. Something,” he pleaded.

“Oh, there is this one note she asked you to read.” He gave the envelope to Steve, which he opened right away. The doctor, realizing the situation at hand, courteously exited the room, closing the door behind him.

For the eyes of my one and only dear, loving husband, Steve Wesley.


He gulped down hard and held his body still, as he tore the back of the envelope to reveal a letter, tightly enclosed. Inside was a strand of blonde hair that quite resembled Stacey’s. There was no way.

Steve,


Yes, I knew. Before you even told me of any divorce. I knew Stacey and how you saw her. I understood. I guess I wasn’t that engaging, and I apologize for that. I am sorry that this news had to come to you so suddenly and I didn’t tell you ahead of time. I just couldn’t bring myself to it. To ruin your well-being and your happiness, call me a coward.

That’s why I wanted daffodils, to bring us together. Again. Like old times. You, me, and Lilly; I cannot thank you enough for agreeing to that. I hope that you looked forward to it and didn’t perceive it as too burdensome. We lost our way for a little bit. We lost each other in between. But I know now how you must feel. Angry at me for not telling you. Angry at yourself for not professing your love to me one last time. But please don’t! Steve, I love you and Lillian more than I can express and I know you feel the same too. Please forgive me for what I have done to you. Take care of Lilly, like I know you will, and maintain the bed of daffodils always blooming bright. Oh, and when you get a chance, look up the meaning of daffodils and you will know that I will always be with you.

Love with all my heart,
Meredith Wesley


Steve stared at the letter until he could no longer hold back the tears. He sobbed like he had never before, with such vigor, such ferocity. He pulled out his phone and searched the meaning of daffodils. What he found made him fall back in his seat.
Daffodil:
•
Original name – Narcissus (This is based on a story of a conceited man who wanted to look at his reflection all the time. One day, he drowned in a river because of his greed and a daffodil grew from where he died.)
•
Symbolic of rebirth and new beginnings, happiness and prosperity.

Lilly burst into the room to console her crying father.

“Daddy, don’t cry. It’ll be ok. The doctor said! Look, the doctor bought me a new doll!” He brought Lilly into his chest and cradled her there for what seemed like forever, staring at the new doll in her hand.

“What’s her name, Lilly?”

“Her name’s Meredith. She’ll always be ours to share.”