Introduction to 3:15

April 7, 2014
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Eighth grade was complete bulls***.The teachers were stupid, and the kids must’ve burnt a few too many brain cells over the summer. They seemed so much dumber than they did last year. Her home life was crappier than her school life, and her school life sucked!!!

The first day of school was like she stepped into an 8-by-8 sized room with lucifer himself. All eyes on her. She’s always been that one silhouette to be noticed. It baffled her really. She wasn’t quite sure how she, the quiet, introverted, average-B student who didn’t get into trouble, was always in trouble.

It’s like she was a big dartboard and the students were the darts. Big, sharp mean darts that wanted to destroy her confidence with every pin-sized hole they made in her.
“Isn’t it time to trade in the old dartboard for a new one?” -She continuously asked herself.

But the second she asked herself that she admittedly felt guilty. She wouldn’t wish this on anyone. She kept fighting a fight that couldn’t be won.

Home life wasn’t much better. Life was difficult already, but now that her mom is pregnant; 5 ½ months to be exact, life is going to suck even more. The baby isn’t going to be the bad part, but she goes days without eating because they can’t “afford” it. The baby won’t be able to handle it.

A brother. She’s never had a brother before. She wondered what it was going to be like. She didn’t let anyone know, but she was ecstatic to have a baby in the house. She hung onto his ultrasound photo every night. Her prayers no longer focused on her mother. Her love and her prayers are sent up to heaven to put an extra shield of protection around her brother. God knows he needs it.

Her mom was getting big. Stretch-marks from head to toe. She is starting to look like a hairless tiger. It baffled her that her unborn brother had enough power to stop her from ‘escorting’, but after years and years of trying, she couldn’t even get her mom to take a night off. She has spent almost 10 years challenging her mom to stop, but she never did.

“I.HATE.EVERYTHING.ABOUT.YOU!!!” -she viciously attacked herself subconsciously until she fell asleep. She hated herself almost as much as she hated listening to Timmy, her step dad, and her mom fight about the baby that isn’t even here yet.

She agreed with Timmy. It was weird that they’ve been trying for what feels like years and she never got pregnant, but she went away for a weekend and three months later peed on a stick that read positive, but she knew her mom was always being safe. She promised her she would be.

She wasn’t sure why Timmy stayed with a prostitute, or why her mother would stay with a drunken a****** that would black out and either backhand her or her daughter. Why her mother would willingly allow a man to harm her own daughter?

She was going to protect her brother. She didn’t care if it was the last thing she did. Alphonsus wasn’t going to be harmed in the same ways she was.

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