In life there is always that one juicy, delicious guy hat every girl craves no matter how old or young. To you they are perfect and they would never do any wrong. They could kill a man and you would say it because that are a secret FBI agent and the guy they took out was a terrorist, or they could steal from the poor and you would sa7 they are giving it to the poor. You are blind to all their faults and are head over heals in love with the “idea” of them. For most high school girls the ideal contender for this role in their life would be actors, or artists, or anyone famous. But once in awhile their “love” becomes realistic and gets directed toward someone they have known their whole life and completely and utterly trust, and have a secret crush on for awhile. For me, this was my brother’s best friend. He was the most amazing thing I could make up in my head and there he was standing directly in front of me smiling with his perfect straight white teeth smile going for all he could muster. He was the cheese to my macaroni, the pepperoni to my pizza, the prince charming to my fairy tale. He was everything, and since I wanted to make him a part of my life and make it finally complete, I had to become his friend while shielding my love sick puppy dog eyes from him. So of course I put myself in his path every chance I got when we were younger. I sometimes made a complete fool out of myself but why should it matter when your madly in love and you would do anything for that person. So time went by and we both grew up, and the outcome that happens when boys go through puberty was starting to look really good on him. The deeper voice made him seem sexier and the darker, thicker hair with the lazy hazel eyes making him seem more desirable. By this time I had also filled out some and had let my hair grow out and had outgrown all of my boy shorts. So we were both starting to look at each other in a new way. We started to become really good friends and talk a lot and finally establish the fact that we both “liked” each other. But as I got to know him even more personally I started to realize who and what he really was. And that he wasn’t superman coming to save me, but a boring, useless, cocky, bitter, son of a b**ch that I never could really love at all.
November 17, 2008