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I can’t do it alone… - The girl whispered, clenching her fists.
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Have you thought about it? You will regret it for the rest of your life! – Her friend insisted, mascara streaming down her face. It looked like claws.
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I don’t want it. I have to get rid of it before my family notices.
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Your choice. – Her friend muttered as sadness stirred in her guts.
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This way it will be better. It’s a better way for me and for the baby.
This is not a way at all.
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Whatever. I will take no part in it. – Her friend walked away, leaving the girl alone. The harshness of the brick and coldness of the street. This was her life… This was what she wanted. Easy money… She could live like this. This life was strictly physical and so simple. Most of the day, she didn’t even have to think. It was a routine, one that kept on going for the past three months. No emotions involved, no sadness or regret. There was no point of it, no point to dwell. Feelings only slowed you down, feelings only burdened you. They made you aware of the reality you didn’t want to see.
And she liked herself… Without anyone she was beautiful. Without any eyes to see, she was precious. And men liked her… They smiled at her sight… They liked her shape. This was enough. For them, all she needed to do was be. Be on top and give into desire. She could fake it, could make herself believe that it was real. That the old man was young and the ugly was handsome. She would give into this illusion. This place of no fear and no rules.
She touched her stomach and signed.
This was not an illusion.
This could not be erased.
This was a stain on her perfect reality.
This was the truth, as was the tear that slid down her cheek.
As was the silent cry that never reached anyone’s ears.