Elixir Of Life

November 6, 2008
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My eyes searched the darkness and I saw his eyes. My head throbbed as I felt another piercing sting in my leg. I knew this would never end. His elixir of life was a drink so vile that it turned him into a demon. He could easily see the fear in my eyes as I watched him slowly walk towards me. My whole body ached but every scream I made just woke the demon even more. So I cried to myself quietly as he advanced. I needed light in my dark world. I needed someone to show me light in my world of darkness.

My eyes opened the next morning and I saw the demon sleeping on the couch. The bottle next to the couch was empty and drained. I wore sweaters and jeans to cover my secret. No one at school could know. I was a shell; I needed to be a shell. No one would listen to me if I spoke. What’s the point? They’ll just feel bad for me. I don’t get the point of trying to show another side to me when this was all I had.

The orange fall leaves floated from the trees above me. Why couldn’t I be a leaf? It was easy for them to escape. They just had to wait till fall. I have to wait till I’m 18.

Everyday of mine is the same. I go to school and act like I’m learning something that could actually help me in my life but they don’t have any classes for kids who are troubled. What about a class that shows you how to escape a closet, even if you have binding ropes? I’ve learned how to do that by myself, and how to not scream. It wasn’t easy and it never will be, but if I close my eyes things are easier. Then I go home to my father. He doesn’t like me going to school. It prevented him from letting out all his anger in the world. I was a walking punching bag to him never more and never less. He couldn’t love the elixir wouldn’t let him. Usually I had to stare into his blood shot eyes and watch his shaky fist wave in the air as he ran towards me. I was a wall and I just let him come. He would catch me anyway.

Someone yelled my name and I turned to see my teacher walking towards me. He held my sweater that hid all my bruises. I didn’t realize everyone staring at my arms that were painted black and blue with bruises. I ran towards him to grab my sweater but he wouldn’t give it to me. Thunder rumbled in the sky and rain drops started to fall. It felt like the sky was crying maybe it was using my tears. I lifted my arms and let it come. My mom once told me that God was in the rain and he will wash away all my sins. I knew she was still looking after me even after her life had ended.

“God is in the rain,” I whispered and let it wash me. Soon I would join her and I would finally be able to embrace her.

The demon was resting on the couch and my arm was pulsing. It felt broken but that wouldn’t matter where I was going. I walked into the kitchen and looked at the blade. It welcomed me and glistened in the flickering light above me. Maybe this was the light I was looking for; this would lead me out of the darkness. Maybe it wouldn’t. This blade will probably lead me so far under the darkness that I would drown. I wouldn’t be remembered but forgotten. I was a whisper in the wind and I needed to become a yell. The shimmering blade dropped out of my hands and shattered on the floor. I needed to start over so I ran. I ran away from the blade and away from the demon.

I don’t know where I am now but those dark memories always enter my mind unwelcomed. I will not be shaken or driven into the darkness ever again. The light always welcomes those who want it and I so badly wished for it that it blinded me. I would rather walk into blinding light than drowning darkness.





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socialkaysualtyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 12, 2016 at 3:09 pm
are you okay? did this happen to you?
 
claysadiamond said...
Nov. 13, 2008 at 11:30 pm
AHH!dude this is so amazing kinda creepy and depressing but amazing, i love it!You should really write more.
 
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