suicide letter

By
Leah slowly glided down the hallway, old memories filing through her mind. As she opened her bedroom door she heard the familiar squeak of rusted metal before closing it. As if life wasn’t bad enough these plain four walls would be the last things she seen. There was a time when things were for lack of a better word better. The orange tint of the bottle reminded her of the Florida sun. The way it would warm her skin while she played with Katie. That was before the evil bars of confinement and steel stole her away. Something inside Leah broke the day she found out about her sister’s consequences. Leah would have done anything to replace her sister‘s fate. It was one mistake not deserving years worth of punishment. Leah’s mistake seemed much worse yet no punishment ever came. Her actions haunted her daily never letting her forget the past four years. Everyone’s fake smile drove her delirious almost completely insane the other half was him. He was so perfect for her in every way but no one else could see It or they did not care. They were too wrapped up in their own personal agonies to realize their effect on her. she was causing him pain and that was unbearable. He had mended her heart but she was breaking his. How long could she make him stay wasn’t it wrong to hurt him in this way? She had lost control. Every tear that rolled down her cheek took another ounce of her pride. The bottle she held in her shaky hands was supposed to contain the strongest medication available. It would be a simple and painless descent. Never for attention simply to get away from reality…for good. Once tshe had the pencil and paper in her hands her mind went blank. She forgot the words she had so carefully planned out. So she started with goodbye.

Goodbye

To a love I will never find stronger, you will always have my heart. To a sister who deserves endless happiness and peace of mind the happiness of my spirit is now within you. To a mother who seems to be blinded by lost loves and a present infatuation my love will always be shown to you. To father you may not know me and now you never will. To my friends who I wish eternal happiness thank you for everything, you did all I could possibly ask I love you. To the devil I am no longer your sinner. To myself I’m sorry I couldn’t be as strong as you wanted me to be.

-Leah
She wrote as neatly as possible wondering how many times she had written notes to him. She knew she would miss him for eternity, he was her soul mate and she found him along a broken road. She thanked god for blessing her with him. Time was a never ending unstoppable force. Sometimes it went too fast other times it did not come quick enough. Somewhere in the back of her mind she could hear her mother singing a lullaby. Wasn’t life a gift? Wasn’t it precious and not ruled by demons and fake sinners? Had the purity left the water? She popped off the white cap and emptied its contents into her hand. She counted 23. Leah wondered how life would be if she chose to live until 23. Maybe she would be married to her soul mate. Maybe the demons of her past would perish in their own eternal flame. Maybe Katie would be home waiting for her. There were so many possibilities and unanswered questions, she didn’t know. Tears began streaming down her face. They felt like flames burning her cheeks. Thoughts raced through her mind. What if she caused more pain then healing? Before she knew what happened her fingers were dialing and the phone was ringing in her ear. The voice on the other line was him.

“Hey baby I’m glad you called its good to hear your voice again I missed you”
It felt as if something was blocking her from breathing . Almost as if the Atlantic Ocean had been released from her tear ducts. She realized her purpose in life had not been completed and she couldn’t just leave. Someone needed her and maybe that could be enough to take most of the pain away. She whispered into the phone

“I’m so sorry… I’ll never make this mistake again… I’ll never leave you…I love you”.





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JettaWintryThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 22, 2013 at 7:34 pm
Interesting! I liked the story and the ending... You're mssing a few commas here and there, and the format was a little odd for my taste, but I think it was a good story over all. I may have not been paying enough attention, but did you ever introduce the guy she wanted so badly to stay on Earth for?
 
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