Things I Carry: Letter To Fear | Teen Ink

Things I Carry: Letter To Fear

October 26, 2013
By NicholasL BRONZE, Toledo, Ohio
NicholasL BRONZE, Toledo, Ohio
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"When you look good, you feel good.
When you feel good, you play good.
When you play good, they pay you good." - Deon Sanders

You know you’re a sports fan when every changed decision is an “audible” and every strong idea is a “home run.”

"I never cared about acceptance as much as I cared about respect." - Jackie Robinson

"You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice." - Bob Marley


Dear Fear,
The last time we spoke you told me not to strive for my goals. You told me I wasn’t prepared. You alerted me that I was worthless. The overall synopsis explained that I am useless and can’t handle pressure at any time. My dreams were crushed, the door was slamming shut, and there was no way to get out. After all, I stand 5 foot 8 inches, and 145 pounds. In reality, I was liable to collapse under pressure. My mind wasn’t fully developed, and my thoughts were losing connection. It was only when you pushed me down, I lay face flat on the floor ready to make a comeback at your demonly visions.


You almost pushed me to my breaking point. I was going through a dark place at the wrong time. The moment I was left all alone in my room, I couldn’t even see the light. My back was up against the wall, feeling like do or die. Not even a soul could be found. Did you ever get the feeling that you’re tied by chains and unable to move? Fear, you put me there. You nearly stopped me. Very clever, but not this time. I had to hold tight, close my eyes and wait for God’s promises.
Ever since the beginning, it takes all kinds of kinds to make the world go around. You caught the right person at the right time. You have stopped me from living my life and completing my goals that deep inside I know can be accomplished. There we were all alone, lights dark in the bedroom, and your voice was speaking loud inside of my head. You could hear the rumble of my Russian dwarf hamster moving through his bedding in the cold crisp air. We do realize the pain we feel inside from the moment. Was I too blind to see this was happening to me out of nowhere? You were gearing me up for a gruesome war standing right between us.

All I wanted was to sleep peacefully throughout the night like the rest of the neighbors, not scared for their life and yelling at the other kids in the street jaywalking.
That night fear, you took control over my body. I must of forgot, you can’t trust me. You were not taking over my soul or happiness. Though you are surrounding me all day, I always find myself holding onto you sometimes while thinking twice about everything related to you. I always have to remember God was holding me, when I was feeling hopeless, and now I’m an overcomer.



This was not a time to second guess about my life or yours. We hold no secrets to our wisdom and our hearts that make a beat. Apparently you didn’t understand who I am. With Jesus carrying me, he brings me back to life through any tragedy including yours.
Fear, is it time to move my feet? I’m finally getting better at putting one foot in front of the other, and it’s time to move forward. I now stand not ready to listen to your aggravating thoughts. I will get lonely, but even though your surrounding, nothing will come out of your negative attitude. I don’t love you, it’s time to go. I surround myself with people who love me, and look forward to new beginnings without you surrounding me by chains and standing in the midst of the fire.

PS: Let me do what I love, and recoup the things I lost in the fire you mysteriously lit.

Sincerely,

Nicholas



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