" Are you sure this is allowed," I told Liz as she took two steps from our room to the kitchen. The small amount of sunlight that crept into our apartment danced around, as if making a festival. The emptiness of the apartment filled the air. "What?" she asks with a furrowed eyebrow and a confused expression. "All of this," I respond hinting towards the apartment that looked smaller and more dirty than a rats nest. She had a smirk on her face, as if she thought I was joking. I move towards the window and looked at the rainbow of stalled cars, most of which are filled with a bright shade of the yellow NYC taxis. Desperate honks was all that was heard for a while in the apartment until the silence was finally broken. " What if we never make it?" I ask Liz, fear making my voice rattle a bit. " Don't think like that," she starts, making a gesture towards me. " There are plenty of shows here for us. We will eventually move into a better, less ratty apartment, make more money and all of those dreams we have. We just have to start from the bottom up. Kind of like a staircase." Her hope radiates from her and I can't help but look at her eyes closely, and I try to open up the gates into her soul. I failed. I can tell by the way that her gray eyes become grayer, colder, and deny me any entrance whatsoever. I start to wonder how I fell in love with this b****, who won't give me the slightest bit of entrance into her. But then, I think about the confessions, the passions, and the long nights we shared together, as one. She smiles and I go back to looking out the window in the same kind of fear but I look at the concrete jungle in a different light now, with a bit more hope. " I can always be a waitress," Liz says in her little joking voice, because she really can't get along with people at all. I can feel her warmth get closer to me and she looks at me straight in the eyes and says, " We will make it." I stare back at her, her eyes giving me a bit more of a cozy message, as if they were saying " I'm here for you." " And that's a promise"
Is This Allowed (Awaiting better title)
September 3, 2013