June 21, 2013
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12:30 a.m.
The dark night rises throughout the cold, silent room as I take my seat in a row of many. A brilliant light shines from ahead. Scenes and pictures of a fictitious tale exude from the light. Not but a second goes by before chaos takes over, and time stops. Now a new light I see is shining from lands beyond. I approach it gracefully and I am gone.

9:30 a.m.
A kiss on both cheeks, and a suffocating yet loving hug; she was a free spirit, bound by no constraints, like a gust of wind, she so flew away into what was like a new town of other free and pure spirits. Innocence and virtue, all together in one place, at that very moment. Not but minutes later, the little town is swarmed. They all want to know. I want to know. Why my baby has not returned.
2:49 p.m.
My lungs close to failure; sweat piling up on my finely-aged skin. The flags are but mere steps away, and there I see it. That winning smile I long to see. It’s my smile too. Her sparkling eyes are mine as well. Every time I look deep into them, it makes my heart explode with passion, like an enclosed bomb ready to detonate. I extend my arms out, ready to receive that embrace I love ever so dearly. Less than a moment passes, my body struck by an inexplicable force, my ears screeching. She and I will never meet.

Memories fade and people change. Time is a demon to which society has fallen. The world never stops spinning, and there is simply nothing we can do but stand and watch.

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This article has 9 comments. Post your own now!

Creative-Writer said...
Sept. 28, 2014 at 10:13 pm
This is Great!  I don't understand,though, why your story starts at 12:30 A.M and then moves to 9:30 A.M.  Is it like the next day?  But ypur syntax builds up nicely, and your vocabulary is almost perfect.  please...NEVER stop writing!!!!!
mxckingbird replied...
Sept. 29, 2014 at 12:28 am
Thank you so so soooo much for your kind words. I know this story is kind of difficult to understand cause I get that a lot. But the first paragraph paralles to the shooting at the movie theatre in Colorado at the premiere of the dark night rises. The second paragraph is supposed to be about the Newtown shooting, andthe third is about the Boston marathon bombing. The times are simply the times in which the events occured. 
Creative-Writer replied...
Oct. 1, 2014 at 10:06 pm
OH!!  That is really cool.  And interesting that you know your stuff, and made a peom out of it!  Thank you for explaining that to me.
Creative-Writer replied...
Oct. 1, 2014 at 10:09 pm
Oh!! that is very cool.  Also interesting that you know your stuff, and made a peom out of it.  Thank you for sharing that information!!
Creative-Writer replied...
Oct. 1, 2014 at 10:12 pm
oh...wow...sorry that I replied twice..
mxckingbird replied...
Oct. 29, 2014 at 8:35 pm
Haha it's fine, and no thank you for reading and responding to my work :)
Liv.HarrisThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 13, 2014 at 11:03 pm
This is beautiful! I am honestly blown away, please continue to write. :)
WOWriting said...
May 6, 2014 at 11:09 am
Beautifully written but maybe a bit confusing? Maybe if it was a book, you could make a bit more sense but maybe I'm just being dim... still really good and i love the meaning behind the last part :)
AutumnMoon replied...
Sept. 22, 2014 at 6:45 pm
I liked the passion in this piece, but I found it slightly hard to follow. At first I thought you were telling us a backwards story, but by the time I got to the end, I wasn't sure anymore. Maybe you need to go back and make it a bit more clear, or maybe you are going to write more. I don't know. This is all up to you though. I'm just hear to provide feadback. Good job! 3/5
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