Those filthy hypocrites. First they would tell me everything was okay, that I didn't need to worry about anything, they would take care of it. Later they would break down in front of me, leaning against me & crying into my shoulder. Telling me this would never happen again, they were sorry, acting like a child. They were utterly broken. Yet here I was, offering them consoling words, telling them everything would be okay, we would all get through this. Taking the blame for crimes I didn't commit. They would tell me of all the problems, how one of them may have to go. How the other was beating them down. Then horrifying scenarios will fly through my head, breaking me. They are so pathetic & weak I am inclined to believe both of them. For they both seem to be telling truth. I know that each is lying in some form or another. So at last their weakness has gotten to me. My words of comfort are now empty, but only I know. My heart hardens into steel, the world seems fragile & full of weakness. Yet I struggle on. Only to cry alone at night, dampening the pillow with hot tears. Pain would come, along with the hammer that slowly shatters my heart. Breaking down its walls in those moments of weakness. Only for it to become ever harder. It all seemed too much, but I still yearned to see this world. This world of pain & treachery. Where truth is lie & lie is truth. For they are supposed to be taking care of me, when really I act the adult. And no one is there for me. And my castle rapidly crumbles.
June 24, 2013