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Exploring Castle Moore

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“I’m so bored,” thought Pamela, as she threw down the book she had read for the fourth time that day. She and her family were spending the summer at “Moore Castle.” Pamela had been excited at first. The suite they were staying in was huge. It had a large great room with comfortable couches, ornate tapestry rugs, multiple sitting areas, and crystal chandeliers. There was plenty of room to relax, read, or play board games. The suite had two bedrooms; a master bedroom for Pamela’s parents and a smaller one, which Pamela shared with her two sisters. It didn’t take long before Pamela knew that her older sister, Mary, had been right. She predicted that Pamela would get bored of the room after a few hours. “Boy was she right!” thought Pamela glumly.

Pamela stood up and walked across the room to Erica, her twin sister. “Hey,” said Pamela, plopping down in the seat next to her sister. “Do you want to explore the castle with me?”

“Sure, there’s nothing else to do around here,” Erica said and then jumped up.

“Lets go,” Pamela replied, and they ran out threw the door.

They explored everywhere: the kitchen, the dining hall, the bathrooms and the lounge. Everywhere, that is, except the library. The door to it was unlocked, but a sign hung on the door that read, “DO NOT ENTER.” Erica wanted to go in but Pamela didn’t want to. “I’m going in even if you don’t,” Erica said impatiently. And in she went shutting the door behind her.

Pamela waited a few moments in the hall wondering what she should do. She heard a noise coming from down the hall. Impulsively she opened the library door and quickly stepped inside. “Finally you’re here, I knew you would eventually,” Said Erica, picking a book up off the floor.

“You know we’re not supposed to be in here. There’s a sign on the door, it says ‘DO NOT ENTER’ didn’t you see it?”

“I chose to ignore that sign. Anyways, I bet no one ever comes in here…Pamie,” said Erica.

“Fine, get in trouble, I’m leaving!” said Pamela, who hated being called Pamie. She turned to leave but when she tried to open the door she found it was locked. “Erica, come over here,” said Pamela worriedly.

“What is it now?” Erica asked as she walked over.

“The door’s locked,” said Pamela. They both pulled and pulled, but the door clearly wasn’t going to open.

“Oh no,” they said together. Pamela plunked down on a chair by a carved oak fireplace. “I told you that going in here was a bad idea,” said Erica accusingly, as if she had not been the one to suggest it.

“It wasn’t my idea to come in here it was yours,” Pamela said. They argued for a long time until there was nothing left to argue about.

“Maybe we should focus on how to get out of here,” said Erica.

“Yeah, we should look for another door, or maybe a key,” said Pamela, So they began to search the library. They searched everywhere. Just when they were about to give up and yell for help Pamela found something. “Erica, I found a door!” she said.

Let’s see if we can open it,” said Erica. They pulled the door open and dust flew out. The two girls coughed, and then walked through. It was dark, but Erica found a light switch and the lights snapped on. They were standing at the top of a staircase. “Come on, let’s go” said Erica hurriedly. Pamela sighed and followed Erica down the stairs.

The staircase was steep and a little slippery, making it hard to walk down. “AHHH!” cried Pamela. She slipped on the stairs and fell down four or five steps. Tears filled Pamela’s eyes, but she wiped then away and stood up. “Are you okay?” Erica asked her.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” said Pamela. They continued down the last few steps slowly. When they reached the bottom they were surprised to see another staircase. This one spiraled upwards. The girls exchanged weary, bewildered glances and began to climb. “Why would we go down to go up?” Pamela asked herself. When they reached the top of the stairs there was a door, Pamela opened it. Light flooded out and they had to cover their eyes. They stepped inside and saw that the room was pink. They looked around and saw that there was another door. “This must be the tower room,” said Pamela.

“Let’s sit down and rest before leaving” said Pamela, and they sat down at a window seat. After they had rested they left thought the other door. Not surprisingly there were more stairs. When they had gone down about three stories there was a door. They tried it to see if it was locked, it wasn’t. The door opened into their suite! Their mother and father were sitting there in one of the sitting areas in the Great Room of their suite. They both looked up surprised.

After the girls had eaten a snack they told their parents about their adventure. Their parents were interested to hear about the connected tower room, but not pleased that they had ignored the ’DO NOT ENTER’ sign. The girls wondered why there had been a sign at all. Their mom figured it was because the lock was broken. They all agreed.

Their dad suggested that they stay in the suite and out of trouble. They both agreed and decided that their room wasn’t so boring after all. But also agreed they would have to go exploring again before their stay in Castle Moore was over.

The End



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This article has 14 comments. Post your own!

Magik1234 said...
Dec. 20, 2013 at 8:08 pm:
This was such a cute story and hope you are able to post more written works in the future. :)
 
DawnieRae replied...
Jan. 11 at 3:16 pm :
thank you! i hope to have more written works up soon!
 
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LaChouette This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 29, 2013 at 12:25 pm:
Hi DawnieRae! Good story, it was very nice and pretty well- written. There were a few grammatical errors, but nothing major and your spelling was very good. I also agree with Quartermaster in using actions to describe what they're feeling. One other small thing: I learned when a character is thinking something, it should be in italics so we know when they are and not accidentally include it as part of the dialogue. Just a little something, but overall, it was a good story. Nice Job! 
 
DawnieRae replied...
Aug. 29, 2013 at 8:56 pm :
Thanks! I am glad you like it. I will definetly use your advice to improve my writing in the future. Also i will definetly read your novel.  Love,  Dawnie 
 
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Carly_ElizabethThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 21, 2013 at 5:39 pm:
I agree with Quartermaster. At some parts it was a little cheesy but all in all it was a good story. A little critisism: try being more descriptive of where they are and what they are doing for example: the lights snapped on and iluminated a musty staircase. Also set a mood for what is happening: the girls hesitantly crept down the stairs. This tells that the walking down the stair case was creepy and it leaves a foreshadow. This will pull the reader in more. 
 
DawnieRae replied...
Jul. 22, 2013 at 6:32 am :
Thanks, I know this was cheesy. But I had to submit something in for publication for this creation writing project and this is all I could find. :)
 
DawnieRae replied...
Jul. 24, 2013 at 5:37 pm :
I meant creative writing haha :)
 
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Quartermaster This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 21, 2013 at 12:24 am:
I liked the ending, a simple and believable conclusion which taught the characters a subtle lesson. Since the ending was believable, I felt satisfied with the conclusion, and the story had a point, but wasn't preachy. Something to try: instead of using dialogue to express your character's feelings, use their actions to show what they're feeling. If they're scared of being locked in the library, describe them pounding on the doors. If they're scared, describing them shivering ... (more »)
 
DawnieRae replied...
Jul. 21, 2013 at 6:36 am :
Thanks so much! :) :)
 
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DawnieRae said...
Jul. 20, 2013 at 7:37 pm:
Please comment and tell me what you! Please critisise it too, so I can become a better writer. Thanks!
 
ItsallboutME replied...
Jul. 23, 2013 at 7:55 pm :
This is excellent, i loved it
 
DawnieRae replied...
Jul. 24, 2013 at 5:35 pm :
Thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it
 
ItsallboutME replied...
Jul. 28, 2013 at 8:03 pm :
You are more than welcome! Continue writing because you are great!! :) 
 
DawnieRae replied...
Aug. 29, 2013 at 8:57 pm :
Thanks! You are great too! :D 
 
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