I liked having nothing....It was a lot easier that way. When you have nothing, you can't have anything taken from you...And it's kind of hard for something to hurt you. But then when you gain something that all changes. You suddenly go from having nothing to having something, and you don't really know how to react....It honestly scares me.

You wonder if this 'something' is real. You start to wonder why the hell this something...some ONE is with you. You just wonder. About EVERY little thing because you aren't used to having that something in your life. You aren't used to having something to care about. Something to care about YOU. It takes a while to grasp it....Process it. Sometimes you never can. Sometimes you can't help but not understand. Whenever I get something special in my life, I doubt everything that happens. I doubt every little thing that I feel and that I think is happening because I'm scared. I'm scared to admit that I'm starting to care...

"You're beautiful." "No I'm not." "I love you." "I hate you."

I liked having nothing....I didn't have to worry about loosing something I cared about.