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DOCUMENT1

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The loud, obnoxious beeping of my alarm yanks me out of my fantasy filled dreams and back into the cold reality. I yawn and roll out of bed before I change my mind and decide to go back to the never ending bliss of my mind.

I stumble my way into the bathroom and take a shower like it is just another day, only it isn't. Today is very special, not that anyone will notice. After I return to my room, I open my closet and pick out my best looking clothes, the ones I have never worn before. I fix my tie to be perfect before combing my hair, another thing which I never do.

Now it’s time for the walk upstairs to breakfast. I can already smell my dad’s bitter coffee. It’s probably being sipped from his “World’s Greatest Dad” mug my sister got him last year. My mother’s hair dryer is screaming, trying to be kept in the background by my younger brother watching sports.

When I finally arrive in the kitchen, I open up the bread box, and start making myself some toast. I don’t even know how to make it so the toaster doesn't burn it. As I put the bread down, I glance over my shoulder. Dad’s head is buried in the local news section. I turn to see Mom putting the finishing touches on her makeup.

“Danny, how did your spelling test go?” I ask my brother who has just finished gobbling up the last of his sugary cereal.

“Good.” He responds after walking past me to put his bowl in the dishwasher.

I turn to my father. “Dad, have you heard when Marissa will come home for Independence Day?” He doesn't respond. I have to call him by his first name again. “Sam?”

“Hm?” He asks, still not peeking his head out of its paper cocoon.

“When’s Marissa coming home for-“

“She’s coming back for the fourth.”

I put on my best impression of a smile. “Thanks.”

Mom comes scurrying out of the bathroom. “Come on guys, we’re going to be late!” My family goes starts scrambling for the door. Quickly, I run to the edge of the stairs. I can smell that the toaster definitely burned my breakfast.

“Mom, Dad, I have something important to tell you!” I yell across the house.

Mom checks her watch, and then reaches for the doorknob. “I’m sorry honey, I’m late. You can tell me when we get back from work. Bye.” She slams the door, and I can hear the car pull out of the driveway.

“I’m going to kill myself.” I say. It’s the first time I've said it out loud. It’s real now. Before, it was just a cry for help, a message on a poster I hung in my room for my parents to see. Now it’s real.

I've had the noose all ready for a week now, hoping someone would come in my room and see it. Dad even ran by and called me up for dinner. My door was open, he must have seen it. Was it just that he didn't care?

I walk down to my room. I’m ready, I have no regrets. I breathe in my final gulps of air. They’re filled with the smoke from my burnt toast. I boot up the computer sitting on my desk. It has my note typed on it in plain text. I never named it. At the top it reads: DOCUMENT1.

I climb up on the chair, and fit the rope around my neck. I let my mind go blank, almost. Just one thought sticks in my head as I fall and feel the rope go taught; they didn't even say “I love you.”



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This article has 11 comments. Post your own!

JRayeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
today at 9:12 pm:
This was real interesting, actually. The beginning was a little long for me, but I did like the twist at the end. I thought the title was an accident, a typo at first! :) That was really creatively done. The message here is so powerful, so emotional. Awesome job, really, Keep it up! :-)
 
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AmaranthiniumThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
today at 6:33 pm:
Love the twist here. Well, okay, I don’t love it because suicide is not a good thing, but you know what I mean. I was not expecting that. You show how we often are so caught up in our normal routine that we don’t even know - or care - when someone is in pain, and that’s a very powerful message. In this particular story, I also like the simplicity of the writing style and the brevity. You get to the point; your story stands on its own without fancy writing tricks.   O... (more »)
 
AmaranthiniumThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
today at 6:41 pm :
Now, the following is just me personally. It struck me as melodramatic and unrealistic that your character had a noose in her room that her father most likely saw - and didn't care about. Don't worry about it too much, if you like it: you get to decide what kind of impact you want your story to have - there aren’t, or shouldn’t be, rules to how to create and feel emotions in fiction. I can also see why you included the noose bit - I mean, when you look at the real signs of su... (more »)
 
E.J.MathewsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
today at 11:28 pm :
Hey, Amaranthinium. Thanks for your pointing out of my basic writing mistakes. I love it when people point them out when I do have them so I can sort them out later. I also loved how in your very very detailed comments that assummed that the unnamed MC as being a girl, even though I envisioned them as being a boy. It really tells me that people start out reading this as if it is themselves (I'm assuming you're a female, sorry if I'm wrong), or even as somebody completely different th... (more »)
 
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LaChouetteThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 25 at 3:04 pm:
Wow. That was an unexpected turn. That was a really good story and it made you feel for the kid. Well done.
 
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Superhero_FanThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 29 at 6:33 pm:
I feel sooo bad for the MC. Poor kid didn't even get an 'I love you'! I thought it was his birthday too, and I was waiting on him to announce it. But this was way more emotional. You are an awesome writer. I usually don't read these types of stories, but you drew me in anyway. Good job.
 
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kamkitThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 24 at 9:30 pm:
i really thought it was his birthday or something and that everyone forgot...but this was so much better!! in a manner of speaking of course. Wow, very powerful. Even though the beginning was very mundane, it set e stage perfectly for the main character because that is what he/she experiences every day. I think your sentence structure on the whole is great- long sentences are usually reserved for drawn-out descriptions, and shorter sentences for action scenes. Even though it might ... (more »)
 
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guardianofthestarsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 24 at 8:26 pm:
That was so sad!! I really felt for the MC! The end was really got to me.  You really did a remarkable job for this piece.  Keep it up!  No comment of improvement from me. :)
 
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vegangirl0725This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 23 at 11:01 pm:
I love the story!! The ending was something I wasn't expecting, which is good. I was thinking the ending was entirely different like a school project or something!! Great story!!!
 
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BlackbeltJamesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 9 at 7:39 am:
Wow, that was a very emotive piece by the time it came to the end. It seems to be very tedious at first, and doesnt capture the imagination much, but then suddenly it does, and perosnally I think that works to it's advantage.
There were parts where I thought you could use some more commas or break up the sentences more; especially in that first sentence. By doing this you will give more of an impact to the reader as it flows better, so they will think more fluidly as they read; it... (more »)
 
Carly_ElizabethThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 24 at 12:51 pm :
What an amazing twist at the end. I never saw it coming. It is really a great story. And I agree with BlackbeltJames that at first it seemed like it was going no where, then BAM. Haha. Some commas were needed in other places, but I still loved it. 
 
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