Lily Anderson was sitting in her favorite corner booth in the small café that stood in the middle of her town. Just like every Saturday since she could remember, she sat in her corner with a book and a banana smoothie. She looked around and smiled as she thought of the familiarity of this place. There was Molly, a girl she just graduated with who she’d known since preschool, waiting tables and chatting with the old men at the bar. Mike, Sam, Tiffany, and Rachel all sat in a booth near the door. All of them had also graduated with Lily last May, and all of them were laughing and having a good time. She felt a tinge of jealousy but pushed it away. As she looked around, Lily smiled at all the people she’d known for years and she felt nice and content in her small town, with her unchanging routine. Yes, Lily liked the slow and the mundane, so Springcreek suited her perfectly. Just as she was thinking this, something happened to shake up Lily’s day, and she did not like it a bit: Jake Reiss, Lily’s ex-boyfriend, walked in. He took a quick look around, spotted Lily, and headed her way.

Lily couldn’t help but notice how his muscles rippled, how the sun streaming through the window seemed to shine gold on his perfect blond hair. And with a jolt to her stomach, Lily noticed his crooked smile and his emerald eyes. In the next moment Jake had slid into the booth across from Lily.
“Hey. I know it’s totally out of the blue, but I just stopped by to see how you’ve been.” He flashed that sweet smile, but there was something like fear in his eyes.
She took a moment to respond, judging if it was safe to answer or not. Finally she decided to respond, but there was a notable stiffness in her voice. “I’ve been good. Working about 40 hours a week and getting ready for college.” Which was true, she thought. She had been working a lot. Hell, she pretty much had to just to keep him out of her head.
If he noticed her hesitancy, he ignored it. “Cool. When do you leave for school?”
Lily deemed it a valid question, seeing as she was off to her first year of college in a few short weeks. “Move in August 16.” There, she thought, short and to the point. Maybe he’ll actually get the point. But no, he had to keep talking.
“Wow! Well I hope you enjoy your first year!”
“I’m sure I will. It’ll be good to get out of this town.”

“Ha-ha, you ready to get out that bad?”
“Yes. I’m done with Sheridan. I’m ready to move on to bigger and better things. There’s nothing here for me anymore.” This was technically a lie. But she didn’t owe him the truth, right?
“Yeah I can understand that. Any ideas on where you want to go?”
“No. I just want to go.” Why won’t he go away? Hint, hint. Get a clue here honey.
“Yeah, well I wish you luck on wherever you decide to go.”
“Thanks.” Finally she couldn’t stand it anymore. “So why talk to me now?” Her voice was like ice. He obviously did not understand that she wanted him to leave. Jake glanced down, then looked up at her and began to speak.
“Honestly I’ve wanted to talk to you for a while now. I’ve been wondering how you’ve been but I was hesitant because I didn’t know if you were mad at me or not.” He looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to confirm or deny his fears.
“I’m not mad. I’ve never been mad.” Jake looked relieved, but Lily continued, “But I am hurt.”
Jake looked slightly ashamed and it took him a moment before he could reply. “I’m still sorry about that. That’s why I decided not to talk to you for a while.”
She shot him a credulous look, and then replied, “The hurt’s never going to go away. Some part of me will always remember.” Her voice was starting to get louder with anger. Taking a deep breath she continued at a quieter level. “I loved you, and I gave you everything I had. I can’t take that back or change it. It just is. And life moves on.”
“I feel the same.”
Lily was relieved at hearing this. Jake finally seemed to be on the same page. “Good. Honestly, I wish we could go back. I miss you,” as she said these words he looked up with hope in his eyes. She decided to quickly crush that feeling, “but I’m also glad to move on.”
His eyes went from hope to hurt in an instant, but his response surprised Lily a little. “I feel the exact same. I miss you.” He gave a cute little half laugh, which irritated her to no end, before adding, “It’s still kind of weird not talking to you all the time or seeing you. It’s still weird that the last time I saw you was in a drive-thru window.” Jake grabbed Lily’s hands and looked straight into her eyes as he said those last words. The memory of when they last saw each other seemed to course through them both.

Lily was working at the McDonald’s in the next town over. She was working the drive-thru with her friend, Sammy, and they were laughing and having a good time in between orders. Lily was in the window handing out food to the customers when she saw a familiar black car driving up. She instantly recognized the car as Jake’s. She hadn’t seen him since they broke up and she started to freak out. Sammy realized what was going on and quickly switched places with Lily so she wouldn’t have to face Jake. She kept her head down while he was at the window and after a minute she thought she was safe. She looked up to see him pulling away, but he also looked up and their eyes met.
Lily had felt a jolt of electricity then and she felt one now. Shaking herself out of the memory she realized her hands were caught in his and jerked them out of his grasp. “I know. But you know what feels weird to me? How I could’ve stayed as long as I did.” Her voice was angry again. Not only at Jake but also at herself for feeling as if he still mattered to her. Her next words were spoken mainly to remind herself why it was over. “Did you know we were on the border of an abusive relationship? Emotional abuse.”
Jake was quick to defend himself. “We weren’t ready to be as serious as we were. We are both young, and I know personally I still have a lot to learn before I think about things like getting married.”
She couldn’t believe he really used the ‘We were young’ excuse. She was furious at that point. “It doesn’t matter how serious we were. You hurt me. I gave you everything I had, and all you did was put me down. No matter how old you are, you never do that to a girl.”
He was trying hard to remain calm and his voice stayed level. “Lily, I really think its best we not talk about that because we both made mistakes and we both are to blame.” She opened her mouth the protest but he cut her off. “But Lily that’s all in the past and we can’t live in the past.”
She couldn’t believe what he was saying. She flew off the handle and started screaming at him, despite everyone in the café staring. “I didn’t treat you badly! I didn’t try to change you into someone you weren’t! I know I’m not perfect, I’m far from it, but don’t say you’re innocent. Don’t brush this off! I’m not living in the past, but I can’t let this go. I forgave and forgot a lot of stuff for you, but there’s some things from the past I can’t forget, I won’t forget, so I don’t make the same mistakes again. So I don’t fall into abuse and regret and disappointment again.” Her breathing was heavy and she was close to tears. He looked surprised and she couldn’t blame him. Lily never made a scene, ever. Everyone knew her as the quiet girl in the background. But Jake brought out the worst in her and right now she didn’t care who heard what she had to say.
Jake looked around as if embarrassed before saying in a calm, even voice, “Look Lily, I’m sorry you feel this way. I’m not saying to forget about it but bringing it up can only rip open wounds and not heal them.”
“I can’t heal yet. I’m scared of relationships. I can’t give myself to anyone anytime soon. Because in everything they say, I hear you. And all I see is them hurting me.” Her voice was finally quiet, but it was also full of sadness and hurt.
“I’m sorry Lily. I truly wish you didn’t hurt.” Pain shadowed his beautiful features and for a moment she believed him. “I know what it’s like not being able to get close with someone.” The feeling was immediately gone. She had heard of the parades of girls he had gone through since their break up. She said in the most sarcastic voice she could muster, “I’m sure.”
Ignoring this statement he continued, “Look, I don’t want things to be bad between us.”
“Then you should’ve thought about that a long time ago.” He voice no longer contained hurt or anger or sadness. Instead it was hard, pure ice.
“I’m just trying to make things right.”
“You’re gonna have to try real hard then.” With arms crossed over her chest, she seemed to be challenging him.
Jake seemed determined. “I’ll do what it takes.”
“I wish you luck. You can heal, but scars don’t fade.”
“You’re right.”
“I know.” It was said in such a self-satisfied that she almost hated herself. Almost.
“Can we work together to make things right?”
“How? What are we going to do?” Lily looked at Jake, waiting for a response.
“We can actually talk to each other and not bring up the past. Instead of walking over old bridges we can build new ones.”
“So just ignore everything that happened?”
“Not ignore, just not let it bring us down.”
“Too late. I’m done with you.” As she tried to get up to leave he caught her arm and held on tight.
“Lily, things don’t have to be like that.”
A sneer twisted her mouth and she pushed his hand away with all her strength. “I know, but you made it like this.”
She was halfway to the door when his next words stopped her in her tracks. “We made it like this.”
Lily turned around to face him. She spoke slowly, hoping the words would sink in. “No. You. You messed up. You ruined us. I’m done.” And with that she stalked outside and never looked back. Jake stood gazing after her, wondering where he ever went wrong.