Gone but not Lost

March 20, 2013
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Clean up your make-up, it’s only a break-up
that’s what my momma said.
I just hate it when people point out the obvious.
But, that’s not the problem, she doesn’t even know the half of it.
The thought of my story is very gory and I don’t mean bloody or gross.
I only mean it’s tough to tell and thinking of it makes me gag.

“He’s in the hospital, you should come quick, he’s begging to see you. Just be easy on him and don’t get angry with him…”

“What’s wrong? Is he okay?”

“He is okay right now, but you come now because he doesn’t want you to find out from me.. He is going to be free..”

My breathing is heavy and my palms are sweaty clutching the steering wheel.
I’ve never dealt with a thing like this and I know I’m not ready for what’s ahead.
I rush in the room and I grab his hand, tears stream down his face.

“You know that I love you and I never wanted you to see me like this. You’re gonna be okay when I say what I need to say.”

“I love you, too. I’m scared of what’s coming, I feel like running away. But, I’d never leave your side and I think I’m ready to hear what you need to say.”

“I felt weary and tired, I felt like I was missing some wires. I tried to get up and get some water but sweat was pouring down my face. My headache was worse than that time you went away. I was scared and my heart was beating fast, I felt my life racing past me and everything. We came to the doctor…”

I’m starting to cry now, I fear goodbye now, I don’t want him to go away.
I know that I must be strong, I have to keep holding on, but I’m not ready for what’s to come.
The fear is in my eye now, the sparkle in his is dimly lit.
He’s squeezing my hand and I know that he feels the rush of my pulse
my refusal to believe what he’s telling me.

“It’s stage four and I don’t have long before it takes over. It’s too late now to try anything, but that’s alright with me. I know that this is happening for a reason, just like you and me. I love you more than anything, more than I could ever begin to tell. I know you’re scared, but please don’t be, know that I’m ready to be free..”

Three years wasn’t long enough for me to give him all my love.
We had plans for our future, he’s too young to leave the world, he’s only 23.
I’m touching his hand, arms, hair, face, legs, waist.
I never got to appreciate all the wonders the both of us had together.
He’s going to be gone, he’s leaving for forever.

“Alongside you I feel complete, but I know you’re getting ready to leave. Although, it’s our time to divide, my love for you will never subside. You’re all to me, you’re everything. Goodbye my love, I’ll always remember the times we had together. I love you.”

I haven’t told many yet, that he’s gone to become a diamond in the sky.
I haven’t fully figured out how to make myself let him go, let him fly.
My love is gone, and I’ll never know why it happened so early.
But I’ll always remember what a tremendous guy I had
I’m glad I got to spend a piece of his life with him, always remember when.

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This article has 11 comments. Post your own now!

dragonsandthree said...
May 1, 2013 at 8:01 am
This was really interesting. It's format was different, because it seems like it floats in-between a poem and a short story. Really good!
Mckay This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 3, 2013 at 2:18 pm
Nice form. Very different but good. The "my breath is heavy and my palms are sweaty" reminded me of Eminem's "Lose Your Self". Great story. And great emotions.
LexusMarie replied...
Apr. 3, 2013 at 7:04 pm
Thank you! I appreciate it. You're like one of my favorite writers on here, no kidding! I hope you read my last comment I put on Self-Healing. c: Ha! I love Eminem so much. He rules da skool! (Omg, can't believe I typed that.) But, I love that song.
Mckay This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 4, 2013 at 2:38 pm
Thank you. And yes, Eminem does rule da skool. And this truly was an exceptional peice to read. I hope you wirte more short stories. 
LexusMarie replied...
Apr. 4, 2013 at 6:28 pm
I actually did! It's called 'Remember?' It's a little twisted, but hey, it works! c: You got me into an Eminem-kick yesterday! Ha!
Laugh-it-Out This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 2, 2013 at 7:34 pm
Gave me chills! Love the rhyming element great job!
SoulPoetry said...
Mar. 31, 2013 at 7:00 pm
So much emotion and the story is so detailed that I can see what's going on! Great job!!!!
holly1999 said...
Mar. 31, 2013 at 6:39 pm
Wow! This is amazing! :)
ZainabS said...
Mar. 31, 2013 at 12:32 pm
wow is an understatement for this peice :)
dagnytaggart said...
Mar. 29, 2013 at 11:55 pm
Jeezus. I'm crying. There is so much emotion packed into this poem, its crazy. I love the style of this as well, with all the quotes. Great job!
LexusMarie replied...
Mar. 30, 2013 at 1:28 pm
Thank you so much! I really appreciate it!
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