The rain hit the ground without a sound and blended with my silent tears. My mind was elsewhere; in a dream world without this pain. Slowly, I raised my head and my eyes locked with those of a man standing just outside the driver-side door of an idled truck; his mouth hung open wide. As I turned my attention back to what was in front of me, my lower lip began to tremble with fright. Silently, I knelt to the ground and let the damp gravel soak my pants; I slowly extended a trembling hand. With shaky fingers, I caressed the soft, young skin of my sisters cheek and let out a single sob. The chill that met the skin of my fingers caused my heart to shatter into a million pieces; I looked into her glazed eyes and saw that little bit of life that still hung on.

"I'm sorry... I am so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen..." I whispered into the silence. Everything around me was going in slow motion and I felt like I wasn't even here on Earth. I was then awoken from my sorrowful trance by a sharp tug. Glancing to my left side I saw the horrified face of my mother begging for answers. I could tell that she was screaming questions at me, but I couldn't hear a word that escaped her mouth. Upon my continued, dazed silence, she shoved me aside and ran to my father who was now cradling the tiny, fragile body of my little sister; the softball we had been tossing back and forth laid next to her, speckled with blood. Both my mother and father rocked back and forth screaming things that I could not comprehend as blood soaked their clothing; and all I did was stand there in the rain and stare at the mess that I had caused.

I sat on my bed staring at the blank wall across from me; I hadn't moved from that spot in hours. Slowly, I shifted my gaze towards the window and caught sight of the small bed, adorned with pink pillows and stuffed animals, staring back at me, empty. As all the memories made in this room came flooding back into my conscious thought, I had to suppress a sob in order to keep myself from totally losing it. As I pushed the memories away, I slowly rose to my feet and made the painful effort to shuffle the few paces to the little bed. Just as slowly as I had risen to my standing position, I lowered myself onto the soft, cold mattress and buried my face in the blankets; they smelled like her. As the smell registered in my brain, I couldn't hold back my emotions any longer. In a split second I cracked and my anger, frustration, and sorrow came pouring out in uncontrollable actions.

Screaming and crying at the top of my lungs I sprang to my feet and balled my hands into fists. With anger I dove across the room towards the row of pictures on top of my dresser, knocking over the bedside table in the process. I swung at the pictures, knocking all eight of them off the oak dresser with one swift motion; they smashed onto the floor, some breaking into hundreds of tiny shards of glass. Not satisfied with this, I bent over and picked up each picture one by one and threw them at the wall and watched as they each exploded when they hit the painted plaster. As the last bit of shrapnel flew at my face I sank to the floor in tears; slowly I fell over onto my side and pulled my knees up to my chin, rocking back and forth.

I awoke from my trance as the sound of the phone ringing echoed through the empty house. After a few moments, the reality of the recent events started to set in and I jumped from the floor. The cold, smooth, hard-wood passed beneath my feet in a rush as I sprinted through the halls. Turning the final corner, I lunged forward and gripped the phone tightly. As I pressed it to my ear I struggled to force myself to say a word; the sound was caught in my through.

"Hello?" I finally made myself speak.
"Danny?" The voice on the other end asked quietly.
"Mom, what is going on? Please tell me she is okay." I pleaded for an answer.
"Danika, darling, calm down and take a deep breath. I need you to listen to me. Leslie suffered severe head trauma. In addition to that she also broke 5 vertebrae in her spine, two of which were in her neck..."
"Mom!" I yelled into the phone.
"What..." She whispered back.
"Stop dancing around the question. Will she live?" By then tears were streaming down my cheeks.
"You didn't let me finish. The head trauma, in addition to all the damage to her vertebrae, caused an internal decapitation."
"Wait... you mean..."
"Yes, Danny. Her spinal cord was separated from the base of her brain; she lost all brain activity almost instantly. By the time she got to the hospital and the doctors realized the severity of her injuries, they said it was too late. Honey, your sister is brain dead and the doctors are planning on pulling her off of life support within the next half our or so."
"No! No, this cannot be happening! It is all my fault. She made me angry because she couldn't throw the ball far enough to reach me. I threw it out into the road in frustration; I didn't know she would blindly run after it! Now because of my own stupidity, my little sister, out little angel, is dead."
I quietly hung up the phone without saying another word to my mother. The weight of my body seemed to multiply at a steady rate as my thoughts consumed me. I slumped back against the wall and slid softly to the floor.
"I'm sorry..." I whispered as a single tear rolled down my cheek. This was my fault; the memory would haunt me forever. This was a burden I would have to bear for the rest of my life. I knew that questions would be asked about what happened, but I would never be able to truthfully answer them; no one knows what exactly happened, not even me.