Vulnerable

January 28, 2013
By Halosfall GOLD, Plymouth, Other
Halosfall GOLD, Plymouth, Other
12 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
I have had dreams and I have had nightmares, but I have conquered my nightmares because of my dreams.


The girl stares at me. “What?” She shakes her head and runs off, back to her friends. I am glad they find my...problem…so interesting. I can see her whispering now, surrounded by her groupies.
I walk to my locker, my shoes scuffed and dirty, my face gaunt and my eyes circled. I may look horrible but my chin is still obstinate, proud. This Cookie isn’t gonna crumble. No matter how tough things get.
I open my locker and when I close it I see a face behind it. I almost yelp in surprise, but I hold it in. I’m good at holding things in. When I see who it is, I sigh. “Stevie, what do you want? I have nothing more to say to you.” She looks back at me and her dark eyes with unshed tears.
“Marie, please…we need to talk, I have to explain. I know you think I acted badly...b-but it was because I thought they should know…”
I snap.
“Stevie, it was my decision, in case you haven’t noticed. I told you because I thought you could keep it. I don’t need this. How dare you try and make my decision for me? Blurting it out in front of everyone. That’s it. I’m through.” I slam the locker door and walk away.
Groups part to let me through, old friends stare at me with pity, some call out to me. Some of my old enemies call out to me. I ignore all of them. All I wanted was a normal life for the next couple of months.
I hear footsteps behind me and I sigh again, I don’t need this. It’s Stevie again. “Marie...wait. I’m sorry. Please...please give me another chance. We can’t end like this.” My façade starts to crumble, my mask breaking down. My walls are leaving me alone and vulnerable. I nod my head quickly before they are gone completely.
She hugs me softly, like I’m breakable, delicate. Which I am. I run away from her, from them all, stumbling into a Disabled toilet. I sit on the cistern and cry, tears running past my nose and plopping onto the floor. My nose runs freely: it no longer has little hairs that help stem the flow. I take a deep breath and look up into the mirror opposite.
I unwind the coloured scarf from my head and have a look at myself, at the lack of hair anywhere. I feel naked, exposed. I drop my head again. And then I look up with burning eyes into my reflection.
“I have cancer and I am going to die.”


The author's comments:
Cancer is tricky...it ruins so many lives and yet you don't think of young people getting it. She has.

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This article has 1 comment.


on Mar. 1 2015 at 2:24 pm
Samtom311 PLATINUM, Delray Beach, Florida
27 articles 3 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I worship individuals for their highest possibilities as individuals, and I loathe humanity, for its failure to live up to these possibilities." -Ayn Rand

I really liked it! Great use of comparisons, and I love how you waited until the end to tell the reader that the main character has cancer, and how you lead the reader on. There were some minor grammar mistakes--and when I say minor, there were hardly any. It was a tad bit confusing on who was who...Is the main character a boy or a girl? And was he/she in a relationship with Stevie or were they just friends? Other than that, it was well written. :)


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