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Perfect to a Fault
Concealer covers the bruise under my left eye. I pull my long sleeve shirt down a little farther before throwing on my jacket. Slowly I walk downstairs as not to disturb him. Him, the man that ruined my life.
My life is perfect, on the outside. I am popular. I have the best boyfriend. I was voted homecoming queen, and I am valedictorian. What is not to love? Or so people think.
I am stuck without a mother, and a man, my “stepfather”, who is the reason for her death. I still remember the night she died. I still remember the screaming, her crying, and the gun shot. I still his fist coming down across my face. And how it has come down ever since.
I am almost out the door when I hear his voice.
“Where are you going,” the gruff sound comes out. “School,” I mutter. I try to get out but I can feel my dark hair being pulled backward. I cry out in pain as his hand shuts the door, and hits my face.
I lay with my head back on my bed my eyes closed. I remember back to the day in third grade when I tried to tell my teacher what he was doing. My mother told her that I was lying and two years later she is gone. In most of the cases the child always feels bad for the parent that gets abused. Not me. I blame her about as much as I do him.
It is her fault I am stuck here in this situation. It is her fault she is dead. It is her fault for not being strong. Thank goodness I am stronger than her.
The ringing alarm awakens my senses and reminds me that I have to paint on a smile. I still can not think of how to cover up my swollen lip. I slip out of the house with ease. I hop in the car and leave but I can still hear him screaming my name. His voice, ringing in the back of my head.
I pull up to school five minutes before the bell. Jeremy, my boyfriend, pulls up beside my car. And I wave hello. I have to think of an excuse for my lip. I close my eyes, escaping for just a moment. The tap on my window forces me to smile.
“Hey babe”, Jeremy calls, “what are you doing in there sleeping?” I force myself to answer. I jump out of the car and right into his warm arms. He kisses me full on the mouth and I cry out in pain. He must have looked clearly at my face then because he exclaimed, “WHAT happened to you!” I could tell he was upset, but what was I supposed to say. “Don’t worry about it”, I whispered.
I turned and left for class. I was so happy when the last bell rang and I went to swim practice. I love the way the water moves like silk around you. Covering you with protection yet still threatening to drown you. I was the last in the pool. I had to get in extra practice for the big meet coming up next week. Scouts from many colleges were coming. So far I had the best time on the team, but I still need to practice.
It was about six when I finally got in my car. I dreaded what waited for me, but before I could even turn the key a hand flew across my mouth. “Hey baby”, Jeremy said. He took away his hand and I smiled. “What are you doing”, I said crawling into the back seat
“Do you love me?” He came closer as he said it. “Yes”, I nodded for emphasis. He kissed me and I kissed back. “Then prove it”, he said. He was on top of me before I could comprehend what was going on. I started to kick and shout but of course it was only him and me in the parking lot. When he finished his “job”, I lay there sobbing.
As I drive home I have to stop more than once because tears are blocking my view. I used to think of school as my safe haven. The place, were I could escape my abuse. Apparently, I was wrong. Everything in my world was crumbling down, and there was nothing I could do about it.
When I arrived home I went straight to my room and shut the door. Less then ten minutes later, he comes barging in. “I had swim practice, I am sorry” I scream at his on coming questions.
“Don’t smart mouth me, b****!” he screams. I shrink back into the comforter on my bed. I see him coming towards me. I try to cover my face but it does nothing to help. I hear a crack and feel pain shoot up my hand. I feel every blow that hits me until the darkness takes over.