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The Diary of Lillian Goldberg

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Being the only girl in a family of only guys is difficult. By difficult I mean truly unbearable. I have been the only girl in my family since my mother died leaving me in the care of my dear father and six brothers. I’m the youngest at fifteen. Then there’s Derrick who’s 16, the twins Joshua and Louis at 17, then the other twins Greg and Victor at 18, and finally the oldest and bossiest Henry at 19. Yes it is truly worst then it already sounds and you haven’t even heard much about them. Henry’s the worst. Since he’s the oldest he thinks he can boss us around. He makes it a known fact around the house that he’s the one who’s going to inherit the farm when father dies. I always tease him and say, “What if daddy wants to give the farm to his beloved youngest daughter.” Then he gets red in the face and quickly scammers out, “Because you’re a girl and you don’t know anything about farm work.” Which I have to say is absolutely ludicrous because my father makes me work as hard as any of my brothers. He doesn’t believe in slackers of any gender. He says working is good for the soul and that just doesn’t include cooking. If my mother were alive she would completely disagree and keep me indoors away from the unrelenting sun that tans my perfectly pale winter skin. Ladies are supposed to have pale skin. I read that in a book I think. But of course my poor confused father wouldn’t know anything about that. Well anyways my closest companion and partner in crime is my brother Derrick. He’s closer to my age and not as burly and strong as the rest of my brothers. He’s more of a poet. Sometimes if I beg long enough he shows me some of his work. Most of them are about his crush Kelly, my best friend’s sister. She’s amazingly beautiful. She has long blonde hair that sprinkles down her back and ends daintily in miniature swirls midway down her spine. She always wears it down so she can swing it back and forth when she walks. She told me once when I walked with her to school. She also has the bluest eyes I have ever seen and pretty much everybody in my family had blue eyes so I have seen lots of blue eyes. They are the exact color of my birthstone sapphire and whenever she is excited about something they glint and sparkle. Then she has a cute little button nose that wrinkles in delight all the time. It’s the most annoying thing in the world when she does it at you because she is usually making fun of you when she is doing it. Then she has a light sprinkle of light brown freckles across it. Usually freckles are something you don’t want but hers make freckles seem most delightful. Whenever I am near her the freckles that cover my body stand out more then they usually do. Also her cheeks are dimpled on both sides. Even when she is not smiling her dimples show. They annoy me in the worst way because I have suffered with none. Anyways like I said her beauty is just somehow unnatural. It’s like Aphrodite shined her light on her when she was born. Well the outside is the only beautiful thing about her. Everything inside is black with bitterness and disgust. She hates everything except her small clique of beautiful people like herself. She says ugly people are beneath her and deserve no attention except to be criticized about what they are doing wrong in their life, which according to her is everything. Her sister and I get the worst of it. I hate her so much and every time I hear Derrick drool over her I just want to punch myself in the face over and over again. I never do though. Now let me tell you about the twins before I go into a rant. Both sets are so much alike you would think they were quadruples. They all dress, talk, and act alike. They all play the same sports, hang out with the same people, and they even eat the same things. I know it sounds cool but it’s really annoying. I mean when four brothers of considerably the same age are all in the house it’s really hard to tell them apart. So I made name tags for them to wear so I can tell them apart. But of course sometimes they want to play a joke and switch them around. That’s when I just about throw them out the window. But they are much bigger and stronger than me so I would most likely be the one thrown out the window. Yes they have done that before. It wasn’t pretty and my left side of my body hurt for weeks. And do you know what my father said? He said, “Now Lillian don’t go about telling and being a tattletale; go get them back.” And now did he really think I could get four teenage burly football playing boys back. I think not and sadly they got away with it. I’m not the only one bullied in the house though. Derrick gets it too but he can fight back more and I’m always the easier target. Well it is getting quite late and now I must be getting to bed, so I wish you farewell my dear and faithful journal.(Notice I didn’t say diary. Diaries are stupid.)
---Lillian Goldberg



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