I lay in my bed listening to a loud knocking on my front door. I hope and pray that they leave, but they keep knocking. I get out of bed and open the door. Two young, scraggly-looking men stand before me.

“Hello. We’re the Grimm brothers. I’m Jacob and this is Wilhelm. We want to write a story about you,” states the smallest man.

I growl and invite them in. I need my morning cup of coffee before I even begin to understand what they keep muttering on about. We each have a couple cups of coffee and I manage to grasp the meaning of their visit.

“You want to follow me around for the day and then write a story about me?” I ask them unbelievingly.

“Yes!” they both scream excitedly in unison. They smile so much that I agree and we set off into the woods for some grocery shopping. We shop around for a while and I find some very nice squirrel to cook for dinner. Soon I notice that the creepy Grimm brothers disappear…not that I really care. At the time, I did not know that they were hiding in a bush near the path. I stand by the path, deciding between some chipmunk or rabbit when a little girl comes skipping down the path in a velvet, crimson red cloak. I vaguely remember seeing her at the last Christmas party in the woods, so I stop her to say hello.

“Good day, Little Red Riding Hood,” I call. I can’t remember her real name, but the term sounds endearing.
“Thank you kindly, Wolf,” she replies. I can tell she remembers me a little as well, but not enough to know my name either.
“Where to so early in the morning, Little Red Riding Hood?” I politely ask.
“To my grandmother's house,” she declares with a smile.
“What have you got in your apron?” I can see a bulge under her cloak and wonder what she possibly possesses.
“Cake and wine. Yesterday was baking-day, so poor sick grandmother is to have something good, to make her stronger,” she whispers. I can tell I touched a nerve with her.
“Where does your grandmother live, Little Red Riding Hood?” I ask with genuine curiosity, for no child should be out in the woods alone. Dangerous creatures lurk within these woods.
“A good quarter of a mile farther on in the wood. Her house stands under the three large oak-trees, the nut-trees are just below; you surely must know it,” replied Little Red Riding Hood.
I know the location of the house and many risky animals live nearby. I do not want the young girl getting hurt so I offer to accompany her to the house. We walk for a while along the path with no trouble from anyone else. I hear a rustling in the bushes and urge Red Riding Hood to go pick some flowers for her grandmother.
“See, Little Red Riding Hood, how pretty the flowers are about here. Why do you not look round? I believe, too, that you do not hear how sweetly the little birds are singing. You walk gravely along as if you were going to school, while everything else out here in the wood is merry.”
“Suppose I take grandmother a fresh flower; that would please her too. It is so early in the day that I shall still get there in good time,” she answered to me.
I smile at her and send her off while I inspect the bushes. I carefully creep over to the bush and peer behind it. Those two annoying little Grimm brothers sit laughing at me.
“What, may I ask, amuses you so much?” I growl at them.
“Why you do. You take such good care of that little girl. We were misinformed that you were the biggest, badest wolf in these woods,” they sneer back at me.
Too angry to answer them, I stalk off completely forgetting about Red Riding Hood. By the time I have calmed down and managed a grasp on my surroundings I realize I stand in front of Red Riding Hood’s grandmother’s house. I remember leaving her alone in the woods and wonder if she made it to her grandmother’s yet. I politely knock on the door to ask, but the crazy, old lady pepper sprays me! I again become angered and without thinking, I grab her and gobble her up. Upon inspection, I find that Red Riding Hood must still be in the woods and on her way. I do not want to upset the little girl, so I quickly devise a plan to fool her. I dress in her grandmother’s clothes and lay down in her bed. When Red Riding Hood comes, she won’t be able to tell the difference and then I will never have to tell her my horrible deed.
“Good morning,” comes the soft little voice that I have become so fond of. “Oh! grandmother,” she says, “what big ears you have!”
“All the better to hear you with, my child,” I reply in my best old lady voice. Luckily, she falls for it. I deserve an Oscar for my performance.
“But, grandmother, what big eyes you have!” she complains.
“All the better to see you with, my dear,” I coo.
“But, grandmother, what large hands you have!” she exclaims.
“All the better to hug you with,” I reply and envelop her in a big hug. My performance turns out horribly then because she catches my scent. She tugs on my hair and once more I become angered. I swallow the poor girl in one huge gulp before I even know what happened. When I appease my appetite, I lay down again in the bed, falling asleep and beginning to snore very loudly.
The huntsman passing the house thinks to himself: “How the old woman is snoring! I must just see if she wants anything.” So he comes into the room, and when he comes to the bed, he sees me lying in it. “Do I find you here, you old sinner!” he rages. “I have long sought you!” But just as he was going to fire at me, it occurred to him that I might have devoured the grandmother, and that she might still be alive, so he does not fire, but takes a pair of scissors, and begins to cut open my stomach.
When he had made two snips, he saw the little red riding hood shining, and then he made two snips more, and the little girl sprang out, crying: “Ah, how frightened I have been! How dark it was inside this evil wolf.”
After that the aged grandmother came out alive also, but scarcely able to breathe. Red Riding Hood, however, quickly fetched great stones with which they filled my belly, and when I awoke, I wanted to run away, but the stones were so heavy that I collapsed at once, and fell dead. Then all three were delighted.
Later that night, I awoke with a terrible headache, but knowing that I had to get away from the house before the huntsman came back. I quickly jumped up and ran as fast as I could back to my own house. When I arrived, I heard mysterious noises inside and became scared.
“Jacob, we’ve done it. We have the best story ever now. A few tweaks and this story may be our bestseller,” whispered Wilhelm, I assume.
These people were going to expose my story with a few tweaks. Those tweaks may make me a monster in the eyes of others. I thought about eating the two writers, but I had learned my lesson. I took off into the woods, never to be heard from again.