Crash!

I threw open the bar door and walked out into the cold autumn air. The wind was blowing around me making my dark hair dance in the wind. Still holding the half empty beer bottle I took a drink and proceeded to my rusted Ford truck. Each step I took was another step towards the devil. I was wasted on hard liquor. Reaching into my pocket I fumbled for my keys while without knowing also grabbing a ticket to death. It took me a few tries to get the keys into the lock.

“There we go” I chuckled climbing slowly into the torn driver’s seat.

I cranked the key; the engine had a coughing fit until it stabilized to a quiet knocking sound. A soft ding and light came on indicating that the radiator fans needed to be checked.

“Unbelievable” I hissed under my breath.

I hopped out of the truck and looked at the fans. Nothing looked wrong, just a soft drip from the radiator falling to the ground like a child’s tears. I climbed back into the vehicle and pounded the dashboard with a powerful fist. The dinging noise got softer and softer until there was dead silence.

“Finally”, I grumbled, tossing the half empty bottle of beer onto the stained carpet.

I threw the truck into gear. The tired vehicle lurched forward and bumped over a speed bump to the main road. I could hardly see in front of me. What was once a strait line in the middle of the road was now a wavy line my eyes could not focus on. I weaved in and out of the narrow lanes making the truck shake and buckle like a sick animal. Suddenly I saw a flashing light ahead. It was the railroad tracks.

“Aint no way I’m waiting for a train”, I slurred.

Taking another drink I floored it, shifting into top gear.

“Come on come on!” I shouted.

The gates were closing, lights were flashing. The truck flew across the tracks like a hawk with the gate scraping the roof sending sparks flying into the wind.

“Yeah! I made it!” I shouted oblivious to the large dent in the roof above me.

“Oh wow” said Cathy, I’m really getting wet!

The young girl walked out of the woods with an old torn leather bag.

“I need to find food she groaned, I’ll so hungry!”

The girl continued walking down the muddy road, raindrops making the long hair on her face stick to her forehead. She was a homeless girl, just barley hanging on to life, a hard life she did not deserve, but she couldn’t change it, she had been born into a rough time. But despite all that she kept a positive attitude. Bending down she picked up an apple resting on the side of the road.

“What luck!” She though smiling to herself.


A raindrop hit the windshield, followed by more raindrops. To make matters worse the wipers didn’t work at all. Now I was driving drunk and I could hardly see a thing. I made a turn onto a dirt road where the homeless people wandered. The road was really filthy. I passed an old discarded mattress rotting in a ditch. The truck rattled down hitting every bump making the broken tailgate bounce up and down. The rain started poring down from the heavens like a river. Then I saw an object in the distance up the road. I squinted but my reaction was too late.


“Is that a……..”

Smash! My foot hit the breaks hard but it was too late, they locked and the truck slid a few feet before coming to a complete stop. Reality was flashing back to me. I threw open the door and jumped out. Looking to the front of the car I saw a large indent in the bumper and radiator. Below was a young girl no more than 9 or 10 years of age lying on the ground, twisted and broken. She must be one of the homeless children that lived in this area. No family at all. I picked the small child up.

“Come on, wake up!” Tears were rolling down my cheeks.

“Wake up! I’m sorry! What have I done?”

Rain was poring down on me. I was holding her tight to me. I put my hand over her chest to feel for a heartbeat that I would never find.

“Please wake up! I didn’t mean to!”

I was shouting into the air with tears on my cheeks holding the girl tight.

“I’m sorry!” I screamed, but sorry wasn’t going to bring this helpless child back to earth.


I looked around carrying her small body to the woods. Gently, I placed her into a small indent in the ground and covered her with leafs and dirt. It was the best grave I could make.

“I’m so sorry. I know I’ll never be forgiven for this”, I said as if she could hear me.

Looking around I picked up a wild rose and rested it on her grave.
I was still not fully alert.

I walked back to my truck hearing only the dinging noise from the dashboard. Reaching in I picked up the beer bottle and threw it as far as I could with all my might.

I drove all the way home in silence. The only noise I heard was the soft ding from the dashboard. Taunting me, reminding me of what was done.

It was still raining when I pulled into the parking lot of my run down apartment. Still trembling, I quickly walked up the old stairs to the second floor, went inside, and fell down onto my faded yellow chair by the window. I watched the soft rain outside as it fell to the earth.
After a while I got up from my chair and walked over to the medicine cabinet. I threw open the cracked glass door and grabbed a bottle of sleeping pills.

“I don’t want to live anymore”, I said to myself.

“I’m a murderer and I don’t deserve to live!”

This is it; it has come down to suicide. I can’t live with the things I’ve done. There is no place in this world for a murderer like me. It’s either death or be haunted by the memories of my past.

I walked over to the window and poured the white pills out onto my trembling hand. Sweating, I slowly raised my hand up to my lips. Before I could insert the pills into my mouth something caught my eye. Down below I saw a young girl in a white dress just sitting on the sidewalk in the rain. The whole scene looked so strange I couldn’t help but investigate, so I put on my coat and went downstairs into the storm tossing the pills to the ground.

“What are you doing out here?” I asked walking over to where she was sitting.

The girl was crying.

“Are you alright?”

“I lost my home and my parents, I’ve been living on the streets for a month and I’m cold and scared”, she cried.

I felt bad for this little girl, all alone in a crazy world.

“Would you like to come inside to stay dry until the storm passes?” I asked

“Do you mean it?” she asked wiping the tears from her face with her small hands.

“Oh thank you!” she said hugging me. “You’re the first person to show me kindness in a long time!”

This made me feel a little better. I could never bring back the girl I hit earlier but I could bring this girl in and give her a place to stay for the night. Although this would never undo what I had done, at least I would be making this sweet little girl happy.

“Come on”, I said, “let’s go in.”

I walked up the rusty stairs to my apartment with her holding my hand.

“What’s your name?” I asked.

“I’m Cathy”, she replied sweetly.

When we got inside I walked her over to the fireplace.

“You can warm up here”, I said.

The girl lay down by the old red brick fireplace and sprawled out on the carpet like a cat on a windowsill. Seeing that she was comfortable I walked over and took a seat in my old recliner. As I watched her I couldn’t help but wonder why she looked so much like the girl from earlier. Thoughts were rushing though my head, maybe they were sisters, maybe there’re related some how, maybe my mind was just playing tricks on me, haunting me, reminding me of what I had done. All those thoughts were making me emotional. A tear ran down my cheek. The girl turned her small body over and looked at me for a few seconds, she must have noticed how depressed I looked. She climbed up onto my chair to sit with me.

“What’s wrong?” She asked in an understanding tone, almost as if she could tell what I was thinking.

“I did something so terrible that even a nice girl such as you could never forgive me for it.”

She hugged me and said,

“I forgive you”

She reached into her pocket and handed me a rose, I took it and held it in my rough hand.

“You don’t understand”, I replied. “What I did is unforgivable. I’m a bad person.”

“You’re not bad”, she said, “You gave me a place to stay. I think you’re a good person no matter what.”

“Little girl, you can’t possibly…

“It’s okay”, she said abruptly before I could finish. “You can’t be sad about one thing for the rest of your life. What you did was wrong and can never be changed, but you can still be forgiven. You can still change, you’re not a bad person.”

Looking at the rose my heart skipped a beat.

“The rose from the grave”, I stuttered.

As she unbuttoned the back of her white dress two glorious wings spread out behind her. Wings of an angel whose time on earth was cut short because of a bad choice. Tears started rolling down my cheeks. This was the girl whose life was ended by me. I started crying.

“But why did you pretend to be a homeless girl on the street?”

“I did it to show you you’re not a bad person and that you can still make good choices, you let me come in out of the storm. I did it to show you are a good person deep down. You ended my life, I did it to stop you from ending yours.

“I…. I’m so sorry” I stuttered again, “I’ll never touch alcohol for the rest of my life! I did a terrible thing, I will change, I promise I will change! I don’t know what to…” She cut me off.

“It’s okay, I forgive you.”


With that she hugged me again, and smiled a forgiving smile at me.

Before I could even whisper sorry again she flapped her wings and flew up though the clouds without leaving a trace, far away to a place where she could never be hurt again.

I looked in my hand to see the rose. The red pedals glistened in the light.