How Love Changes

October 31, 2012
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Have you ever been in a situation that you never thought in a million years you would be in? Have you ever loved someone so much that you don’t even have words to describe how that person makes you feel until they hurt you and this one day they seem like a totally different person? Well let me tell you my story.
Walking up to A&T University I could feel the look from the upper classmen at every freshmen they saw. I was planning on majoring in becoming a teacher. As I was heading to my English class, I turned the corner and bumped into another freshman. Kneeling down to pick up my literary analysis book out the corner of my eye I saw the most beautiful man kneeling down helping me pick up my books. I looked at him and he looked at me. I smiled and he said.
“Hi I’m Charles, what’s your name”
“Emory”
“Emory, I like it” He replied.
I smiled and said” yeah, I guess it grows on you.”
“Yeah I guess so is this your first year here.”
“Yeah is it that obvious” I responded with my head down.
“Well, no I just never seen such a gorgeous face like yours around here before, I mean there’s some cute girls here but it’s just something I like about you” he said in a flirtatious way.
“You don’t even know me” I replied.
“Well I can get to know you.”
“I don’t even know you.”
“You can get to know me. How about you get to know me now, and while you getting to know me, I can walk you to class.”
“I guess that’s okay.”
“Yeah what are you majoring in?”
“I want to become a teacher.”
“Mhm you don’t really strike me as someone that want to be a teacher.”
“Well when I was little I always used to tell my mom that I wanted to be a policeman but she said women don’t be policemen, that’s a man’s job. So even since then I wanted to be a teacher because I like helping people. Enough about me so what are you majoring in?”
“I’m studying to be an engineer.”
“Oh, so you like working on cars.”
“Yeah, ever since I was a kid I just had a desire for fixing cars, but I guess I got all of that from my dad. See when I was little my dad would be in the garage working on cars from 8 in the morning to 11 at night. Like some days he would barely eat dinner because he was out in the garage working on cars, so this one day he had me to sit there and watch him work on a car and I saw how happy it made him, so as I got older he began to teach me the techniques of fixing cars, and when he got sick I had to take over for him because that’s how he made money and kept the bills paid, and now I fix cars on the side so that I can pay for my education. I mean at least I don’t have to depend on my mom to help pay for my tuition. After I graduate I want to have a house someday that I’ll be able to stay in the garage late at night and work on cars like my old man.” “Oh wow that was very nice of you. Is your dad still living?”
“No, he died when I was 17, it was my last year in high school and he didn’t even get to see me walk across the stage.”
I thought to myself like wow that’s really sad, I actually felt sorry for him.
“Wow I’m sorry to hear that” I replied with tear in my eye.
“Its good people die all the time.”
“Yeah but that was probably a lot on you and especially when that was your last year, and your father wasn’t there to see you walk across the stage.”
“Well like I said people die all the time.”
“Yeah my mom couldn’t stop talking about me walking across the stage and graduating from high school, because she said she wanted to show my dad that she raised me up by herself.” Changing the subject I told him that this was my class.
“This you right here?”
“Yeah thanks for walking me to class”
“No problem, aye thanks for the talk I needed to get that off my chest.”
“You’re welcome” I replied with a smile.
“Yeah so I’ll see you around?”
“Yeah for sure”
“Okay, well I’ll see you later” he responded with a big smile
I felt so sorry for him. I don’t really know how it feels to lose a parent, but I know it have to be painful. The whole entire time I was in class I was just thinking about him and I was wishing if I could do something to help him but that is just sad. I don’t even know what I would do if I lost my mother and I didn’t have anybody. I probably would have been lost in this big world on my own. I kept thinking about him the whole time I was in class I missed the teachers lecture.
The next day I went to get me something to eat, I turned around and saw Charles walking my way. We talked for a good while and then he asked me out. Every night Charles and I went to Aggie Dining, before our curfew was over at 11:00.
It has been three years since me and Charles met. After about four week of going to Aggie Dining every night Charles and I began to date. Charles graduated last year, I’m so proud of him. He have a good job right now that he making pretty good money and he’s able to afford his own apartment and car. Now I’m graduating this yea, I can’t wait because Charles said the night of my graduation he have something he want to ask me. I wonder what he has to ask me. He told me to meet him at Aggie Dining where we had our first date.
When I got there to the restaurant, I walked in looking like a fashion model. I was wearing my sexy red dress and my sexy black shoes. He looked at me as if I was the only woman in the world that mattered. I walked through the door looking around the restaurant. It looked as if I was in one of those romantic movies, when the boyfriend is about to propose.
As I was walking in the restaurant I saw men playing music, candles lit all around the whole place. I saw Charles standing there looking all swab and handsome he was dressed up in an all black suit with a gray and white tie, with his black dress shoes. I was confused, I was wondering what was going on.
“He said come in, don’t be scared.”
So I walked towards him and said. I saw that the whole place was empty. I walked up to him and asked him.
I asked him what going on.
He said “The next step to our relationship.”
I replied our relationship “Our relationship?”
“Yes”
He got on one knee and was speaking to me in a sexy sweet voice.
“Emory Renee Davison you are my heart and soul, I love you with all my heart and if you love me like I love you, you will take the honor of being my wife.” I felt like I was on cloud nine. I was so excited because I couldn’t believe I was about to get married. “What’s going on?” I asked in a confused way
He replied “The next step in our relationship”
“What you mean next step?”
“Emory Renee Davison, from the first day I meet you, I knew you were the one for me. I love you with all my heart. I share things with you I never shared with anybody else before and all I have one question for you. Will you marry me?”
I was so surprised I screamed “yes, yes, yes, I do, ill marry you”
On April 8th Charles and I got married. It wasn’t a big wedding, it was just small enough for a few family members and friends to come out and join us. We didn’t really have a honeymoon; we went to Las Vegas and got a hotel room. After we got married I moved in with him and I began starting my new teaching job at Jordan Matthews High School. About four year later I had a daughter name Brooklyn. At that time we were doing kind of good we decided we wanted to start a family.
Brooklyn is now four years old. She was so excited about going to school. She would come home and say “Momma can you teach me something new?” I would always laugh because she always wanted to learn something new that someone else doesn’t know about. This one day I called Charles at work to see how was he doing and he answered the phone like something was wrong. So I asked him what was wrong and he said nothing, but I could tell that something was wrong. He just didn’t want to tell me. When he got home he was kind of upset about something. I asked him again what’s wrong he said
” Damn it Emory, can I at least come in the house and take my shoes off; without you all up in my face questioning me?”
Well, all I was doing was asking is everything okay? Because you sound a little upset on the phone earlier” I replied with no harm.
“I lost my job” he replied with a loud voice
I responded “What happened how did you lose your job”
“I don’t know. They said that I supposedly stole $2,000 out the cash box.”
“Well, did you”
“Of course not. So they told me I had to get all my things together and leave”
“I replied can somebody help you fight to get your job back?”
“No, we don’t have a union rep. So I guess I have to just go out tomorrow and find me another job”
“I hope so because my pay check I get can’t take care of all these bills and this high mortgage”
“I said I was going to go out and find me a job tomorrow” he responded with an angry voice
“Okay, I was just saying”
He replied “See this is what I’m talking about you always nagging me”
“I’m not nagging I was just trying to communicate with you because it seem like you don’t talk to me anymore about anything.”
“That’s because you always in my damn face”
“You know what I’m done talking about it, because I don’t even care anymore do whatever you want I’m done” “I m not about to deal with this s***.”

Months went by and Charles couldn’t find a job. Some of the jobs he applied to said that he was too qualified for the job. He was getting so discourage that he would come home late at night drunk. Some nights I would have to get him off the steps at 3 in the morning and bring him in the house because he wasn’t able to stand straight up.
This one day he came home so drunk and angry, he was cussing me out for no reason at all. I was scared because I didn’t know what he might do. He even woke Mia. I was trying to calm him down, but he didn’t want to listen to me. He pushed me so hard, I flew across the room. Then I told him that he needs to stop drinking and then he slapped me.
“You said you wouldn’t ever hit me”
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry I would never do it again I swear to god. I love you Emory please don’t be mad at me. Please I love you” he replied with a sad face
“It’s okay, I forgive you. I know how stressful it can be and you’ve been look for a job for months; but we are going to make it through this don’t worry about it. I promise.” I replied holding him in my arms.

It’s been 7 months and Charles still can’t find him a job. We are struggling with the bills we do have. We are one month behind in our mortgage and our cable is going to get cut off tomorrow. I don’t know what to do. Charles Is stealing money out of my purse so that he can get drunk every night, and when he stealing money out my purse makes it that I don’t have enough money to buy food for our house. I have to go to different free food banks just for we can have something to eat in the house. I never thought that we would be struggling this bad. If only Charles can find him another job so he can help me out with these bills.
I was sleeping this one night and I hear a loud knock on the door, I get up to see who it was, it was Charles. He was drunk again he was banging on the door to let him in. I could smell the liquor on his breath without him even speaking. His eyes were rolling in the back of his head. He was talking all crazy and everything. I was scared for him; I didn’t know what to do. I tried to calm him down but he wasn’t listening to me. He kept telling me to shut up and that he know what he doing. Then I told him
“You gone have to stop drinking because you starting to act a little crazy”
“Crazy? I know you didn’t just call me crazy?” he responded angrily
“No, I not saying you’re crazy I’m just saying that when you drink you tend to get a little overboard and act a little crazy”
He looked at me with a crazy look and next thing I know he balled his fist up and hit me. He beat me so badly he blacked both of my eyes, he busted my lip and my nose and he busted my ear drum. I was unable to go to work for a month and that really put us behind in our bills. I felt so bad that he was beating me all the time, it made me feel as if I was the one that was doing something wrong. I called up my old best friend Mariah. I was telling her about all the hard times I’m having right now and how Charles keep beating breast fast, lunch and dinner. She cried for me, she told me that I shouldn’t have to go through all of this.
“Girl you know you had enough right?”
“Yeah, I have but I love him so much. We’ve been married for almost 9 years”
She responded “I don’t give a damn if you were married to him for 19 years, girl you boosting that man has no right to be putting his hands on you. He just don’t know them hands gone be thrown back at him, if he keep playing. You are going to have to give him a taste of his own medicine, because this is enough. No real man put his hands on a woman, and if he does then he’s a punk, point blank.”
I responded “I know, I know but you just don’t know how much I love him. He was my first love and plus we have Brooklyn together”
“Look I don’t care how much you love him he’s not right and you know it! If you stay with him you crazy as hell some you can do whatever you want, but I just hope you make the right decision.”
I was so confused; I didn’t know should I stay or should I go. I knew if I would leave him it would be better but at the same time I don’t want Brooklyn to be without her father because she loves so much. I knew if I would stay he would keep hitting me. I was done and tired of Charles bull. I went out to get a pizza so we can eat for dinner. Charles said he didn’t want to eat pizza. I told him that I didn’t have any more money to buy anything else, so he would have to just deal with the pizza for now. I saw him raising his hand to hit me. I fell to the floor he had this angry look on his face like he was going to beat like he did last time.
I was so angry I got up and I tried to hit him with all my might but he slapped me so hard I fell to the floor again. Then I crawled to our bedroom and went in the dresser to grab for his pistol. He knew what I was going for. He came in the room from behind me and tried to snatch the gun from me. We were wrestling all over the floor for the gun. I still had my hand on the trigger but he kept trying to take the gun away from me. Before I knew it, it flashed before my eyes. I pulled the trigger. I didn’t mean to. Charles fell to the floor and I looked at him just laying there helpless. I looked at the gun in my hand. I then dropped the gun and I fell to my knees. It felt like I was in a twilight zone, because it just felt like it wasn’t real. I grabbed Charles and held him in my arms. I couldn’t believe that I just killed my husband.

Months went by and I went to group therapy’s so that I can talk to others that have similar situations as me. I went back to school so that I can catch up on my bills and I got me and Brooklyn a two bed room apartment until I can find us something better. I also moved out the house that Charles and I had together. I’m selling the house because it was so many bad memorize in that house. I always think that sometimes we be in certain situations that we never thought that we would be in, in a billion years, until it happens to you and its nothing you can do about but learn from it and try not to make that same mistake again. I know I did.






The End





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