Her life is out of my control. She can no longer stand for herself, she has to have someone next to her. It makes her sick. She tries so hard, but it just seems that she always seems to fall flat on her face with no control of when she gets back up. She feels lost in her new life, that has been created for her. She has her own room and an amazing beautiful house, but it doesn’t feel of home. She know longer has control over her life; that is why she wonders why she is still living it. She knows she is not perfect, but maybe one day someone will see that she is worth it. She believes she could live her dream, but with her illness no one believes in her which brings her down, more than anyone can see. She is nothing; just a burden on her family, something that they all worry about, and no one knows what to do. Her illness has scared her family and she just wants to take this all away from them. She wants them to feel secure and safe, but with her in their life she doesn’t see how that will ever come to be. She has no control over her illness, which makes her have no control over her life, or her future. She doesn’t like being this girl, but it seems this is where she have been placed, and she can not break free. She knows she would be missed if she happened to acted on her thoughts, but shes feels she have nothing left to give. She is helpless, helpless to the words that people say. The hush voices when people do not think that she can hear them, but she does. Those words hurt her and leave her wishing for things that just do not seem to happen. She wants to talk to someone, but no one seems to understand how she really feels. Hush, hush. Time needs to stand still as her next illness sinks her to the ground with no control of the shaking that comes over her and takes her mind and heart leaving them hurting. Hurting for hope and time. Hope that seems to always leave when she needs it most. Time before her illness tricks again. Time to just be her and not worry about what comes next.
October 26, 2012