Untitled (But Possibly True)

October 27, 2012
By lovelivesinthesun GOLD, Columbus, Ohio
lovelivesinthesun GOLD, Columbus, Ohio
17 articles 7 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.
-Sylvia Plath


“Max...” I whispered through the dark. It was so deep I was afraid he couldn’t hear me. But I heard his head turn on the pillow toward me so I spoke. “I don’t want to die.” He grabbed my hand and our fingers interlaced. I wondered where we were. I couldn’t remember but it felt relatively safe. Max’s hands were cold and smooth but not clammy. I wondered how he could never be nervous or scared. It’d be unfair to ask. We laid there for a while. “Where are we?” I asked.

“Your bed.” He replied. He didn’t sound surprised at the question. I liked that. He rolled onto his side and stretched his arm over me, resting it on my chest. I wondered why we were doing this. I thought I’d ask, but the words didn’t come out. The felt right in my mouth but spitting them out stung on the first word. I swallowed them back. “You’ll only die if you want to.” He told me. I supposed that was right. The only means of dying would be offing myself and I would never do that to Ella. Why is he even here? The words were still sour, even when I sucked on them. I wish I could see the pattern on my sheets.

“How did you get here?” That tasted better. He told me that I had called him and was very upset. He drove in his car to my house because my parents were away for the weekend. I opened the door and almost collapsed. He picked me up, locked the door, and brought me to my bed. I had told him that I missed Ella yet didn’t want to join her. I cried myself to sleep, he said.

“You’re okay. You’re strong enough to not let go of Ella.” I rolled onto my side and he put his arm around my waist. “You’re okay. You’re alright.” He kissed me softly. I had missed those lips, his breath, his pulse. I could feel his hard beating through his fingertips. The darkness had thinned but was still nothing but pure. I breathed in negative space, and breathed out a constellation. That kiss again, but different. I rolled back onto my back. Then back to my side.
I opened my eyes, and the bed was empty. The constellation remained.



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