By Firelight

October 17, 2012
The bright, warm, orange fire sent sparks shooting into the night, where they hovered for a moment before they disappeared. The sounds of the horses and cattle, the fire, and the soft noises the cowboys themselves made mixed and mingled into the strange music of the night.
“Any songs for tonight, Jeff?” one of the featureless figures asked.
“Yeah,” he said, “I’ve got a new one, even.” He began a slow, haunting tune that rang through the camp, bouncing off the canyon walls to be repeated in full force.
The figures fell silent, and the tune continued for what seemed like hours, but was probably only minutes. As the song finished, they sighed and began to settle in for the night. Above them, the stars glinted faintly, shining their protective light down on those below.

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Nobuo This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 26, 2014 at 3:00 pm
I'd either shorten it to showcase one specific meaning or make it a little longer to give more meaning and emotion, it's a little hard for me to understand right now as it is.
CammyS said...
Nov. 4, 2012 at 5:29 am
I liked it! I would think about adding more of a plot, like the cowboys were just resting before going off to hunt down some outlaw the next morning. Even if you don't actually show that, the presence of a conflict will (in my opinion) make the story better. But other than that your descrpiction was really clear and not overwhelming and I could really see the whole picture you were painting. Nice work!
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