Can't Talk

October 5, 2012
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I can't talk right. I really can't. I read perfectly in my head. I hear perfectly, more or less. I understand exactly how I should say something but my brain switches the words around as I say them and it becomes nothing but a fumbling mess spilling out of my mouth. It has the consistency and humility of vomit as I apologetically look at the person I'm talking to. I'm ashamed to continue speaking because I know I'll just mess it up again.

Saying simple sentences like "Oh, I like that book too." Gets jumbled in my brain as "Oh, book like too." Finally it falls out of my mouth like a nearly dead, suffering creature as "Oh, I-I... book... I like... I like that too book. I mean... Sorry..."

It usually results in the other person laughing and I'm smiling awkwardly like I approve of their laughing at me at all. But what can I do about it? If you say anything you look like a jerk that can't take a joke.

I hate talking.

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