A Yellow Flower

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She stood still, listening silence that filled the room. Nothing seemed right anymore. She didn’t know where she stood in this world. All she knew was that she stood alone. It scared her at how emotional she was and how close she felt to bursting. It was as if all the sadness and anger in the world was pervading through her. She couldn’t handle it anymore, and she wept. Tears rolled down her cheeks and she could feel the despair and loneliness swell inside her. She remembered all the insults she had ever gotten. She could recall who had said them and why. She could remember their laughing, the pain, and most of all the tears.
She looked around trying to remember when everyone she loved surrounded her and loved her, too. Now instead of her friends and family, she stood alone surrounded by emptiness and the memories of when she was happy, but that was all they were, memories. She looked down at the floor of her tiny apartment. They laughed at her. They insulted her. They didn’t respect her. Most of all they acted as if she were nothing, worthless. When she would walk into a room, everyone would leave. She remembered the glares and the looks of disgust. And now, all she could think was You’re not good enough…
The words were too much. They made her head ache and she really felt worthless. She tried to forget. She didn’t like these words. She didn’t want to remember the torment.
When would it be her turn to be happy? She didn’t understand why she was even here anymore. She wasn’t worth it. Nobody else seemed to think so. All but one of her friends had moved on and her family had left her. She was alone. She hated the feeling of being alone. She wanted someone to talk to. She pulled out her phone and texted her only friend, “Hey, can you come over? I really just need someone to talk too.”

All the trauma of the night drove her from her house. The fresh air outside was soothing to her and she liked the chill of the fall breeze. The moon was bright that night and filled her street with long, dark shadows. She just wanted to walk and to think without the confinement of her apartment. She thought of her text that had never been answered and sighed. She didn’t blame her friend; it’s what everyone else would have done.
The houses she passed all seemed so happy and warm. They almost seemed as if they mocked her and her sadness. Some of the houses she passed were hosting parties with kids blasting music and dancing and smiling. She found herself smiling with them. Even if she wasn’t happy, she had always been one to get pleasure from the happiness of others. She imagined herself being invited to a party, dancing, and just being herself. It almost made her feel a little better about everything. That maybe the world wasn’t all bad, and things would get better. She imagined not having to try and please everyone who didn’t like her. She had gotten so accustomed to doing that lately and really wasn’t sure what was even her anymore. She decided then, that she would find herself, and that’s all that she would ever be.
She noticed small yellow flower in a patch of pink flowers that stuck out from the side of the road and she admired it, the way it was so different from the rest of them and was still so beautiful. She bent down to pick it. She wanted to bring it home and keep it, to remind her that she could still be beautiful without being like everyone else.
Beautiful, she thought. I am beautiful.
She started to walk back down her street to her apartment. She didn’t see it coming. The head lights veered right in her direction. The driver’s attention was still focused on her phone as she texted her friend. The impact seemed slow motion yet it was over so fast. Everyone ran from their houses to help the poor driver screaming for help, but no one noticed the girl lying beside the road, her last breath escaping her mouth, a small yellow flower still locked between her fingers.





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