Puzzle Pieces

August 27, 2012
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It’s not hard to tell she’s angry. Her big puppy dog eyes, usually a light brown that look almost orange in the light, are dark and unforgiving. Her care free walk with undeniably long strides are short and to the point, which I’m hoping is how this conversation is going to be. I don’t want to talk to her. Well, I do, but I have nothing of importance to say.

She stomps right up to me, no more than two feet away and I already know what’s coming. Her long brown hair tucked behind her ears, her posture more uptight than usual, her jaw clenched. She takes a deep breath in, preparing herself to give the speech I know she has been practicing since she has heard the news. I brace myself for whatever might come next. As soon as she is about to tell me how much she hates me, or never wants to talk to me again, she lets out a little cough and a tear falls down her face. She’s like a little girl who lost her favorite doll, but at this point she stopped searching. She’s looking at the ground with a face full of despair. Then she looks up at me, waiting, anticipating for me to say something to make everything better but all I can manage is “Babe, I’m so sorry.”
“Really? You’re sorry? Sorry for what Blake? Because this is like nothing you’ve done before. Bravo, you really out did yourself this time.”
She stared blankly at me for a good 30 seconds, then gave up. She held her head high and walked away. I could say I chased after her, begged for her on my hands and knees, tried to repair all the damage I had done, but that would be a lie.

One fight, that’s all it took. One dispute to send our relationship spiraling out of control. Thinking back I can’t believe I got mad at something as stupid as a lab partner. His name is Jackson Kaldwell. Quarterback of the football team and a straight A student, but that shouldn’t have mattered to me. I know Cassie, and she never looked at any other guy the way she looked at me. She never would have done what I did. When she told me about the lab I was furious. I had already told her I didn’t like that he was in her science class, knowing there was nothing she could do about it. She swore she didn’t like him like all of the other girls in this school did, and I knew she was telling the truth. The teacher picked partners for the Chromotography Lab and they were coincidentally paired together. The only time Jackson could work on the project was Saturday night after practice, also me and Cassie’s 6 month anniversary. The project was worth 30% of their grade so of course she cancelled our plans to go out.

Enraged, fuming, and disappointed I did something I never should have done, and still don’t know why the idea even popped into my mind. Blaire Tompkins, head cheerleader, most popular girl in school, or my ex girlfriend. When I broke up with her she earned a reputation I don’t like to think about often. She always tried to talk to me afterwards but I never really tried to fix what happened between us, well until the night Cassie and Jackson were together. I texted her hoping to just have a friendly conversation, which turned into a friendly gathering, which turned into a little more than friendly actions.

To make things worse she didn’t hear it from me. Blaire told Cami who told her brother Vinny, who told his best friend Jackson. All of this happened within 2 hours. A short enough time period for to receive the call while he was still with Cassie who was innocently working on the Chromotography paper. Cassie knew something was wrong when he came back looking mortified. She figured his parents were mad at him or he was fighting with a close friend and tried to comfort him, when he blurted out the truth. Gruesome details included, which I want to say tore our relationship apart, but that’s not true. I single handedly destroyed one of the most important things I had in my life, and there is nothing I can do to fix it. On top of everything he was her shoulder to cry on, he held her when I couldn’t, he was there for her when she needed someone, I wasn’t.

I wanted to tell her how I felt after she walked away that Monday. She had ignored all of my texts and calls during the weekend, which I had assumed was for her convenience, so she could publicly humiliate me in the middle of McKinney High School’s halls, but no. She’s better than that, she’s better than me, always has been. But that doesn’t mean she is willing to forgive me. When I see her in the hallways I think about going up to her with the apology she deserves to hear, but I don’t, because as soon as I sneak a glance her way, her eyes drop to the floor. A few days later she changes the routes she takes to get to class just to avoid having to see me, and I don’t blame her.

This is not a cheerful story, nor does it have a happy ending, well atleast for me. In a few months, Cassie and Jackson will have figured out they were falling in love, and it’s all because of me. I drove her straight into his arms and she doesn’t plan on looking back. I get to watch her be nominated Prom Queen later in the year, to be crowned at the dance by the king, who is none other than our very own Jackson Caldwell. I get to watch her fit the puzzle pieces of her life together, while my life falls apart.

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