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*This is dedicated to victims of domestic violence and abuse. It is time to stand up and speak now!*
She dreaded this moment everyday. Her heart would beat against her chest as though wishing for the passing moments to stop. Her brows would scrunch up in nervousness and some unseen agony would haunt her petite frame as she battled with the demons of her life- alone…
Everyday when the clock would strike six, her mind would get clouded and her thoughts- disarrayed. Sometimes, the dim orange glow of the sunset outside would filter in through the blinds of her cabin and make her even more flustered. She always thought of it as some cruel joke of nature. She felt betrayed by the Gods that her mother had so piously prayed to. She felt as though they stood in the sidelines like meek spectators, watching it all unfold, too petrified to intervene.
She often thought of putting an end to the facade but somehow always decided against it. She knew she was a fighter. Yet, she never had fought back. No matter how desperately she wished for the pain to stop, no matter how hard she screamed, all she ever heard back was the deafening silence. She knew that the moment she would enter her apartment, heavy moans and anguished screams would be the only sounds resonating against the bare walls.
Pushing these thoughts to the farthest corners of her mind, she began the long walk home. She knew well enough that just two left turns and a thin wooden door separated her from her perpetrator and that there was nothing she could do about it.
She knew what happened every day. She had memorized the ritual by now…how she would venture home through the familiar roads…how he would greet her with a sardonic smile…the way she would shrink to the farthest corner of the room in a desperate attempt to escape from her boyfriend of two years…how a million thoughts would be running through her head as she clutched her sides while he repeatedly kicked her till she would hear something break. It would usually be a rib, maybe two but how she wished for it to be her heart instead! After all, it was the one thing that kept her attached to her own personal purgatory. If only it would stop beating and stay still till the life drained from her battered body...how she wished to be free.
But freedom was a distant dream. She knew well enough how the night would end. Once, he would get tired of hitting her, he would probably take a shower to rid himself of the sweat that had found its temporary refuge at the corners of his furrowed brow while she lay there like a lifeless heap- bruised, battered and broken.
It was during such moments of wishful paralysis, both physical and emotional, that she would reflect upon what went wrong… she never could figure out how her loving, caring angel had turned into this...this demon!
The man whom she had given her heart now treated her like his own personal slave...his permanent whore. Initially, she felt that she must have done something to instigate his brutish rage but eventually, she gave up.
She had tried running from this hell. Not once, not twice but seventeen times! But he would find her. He always did. He considered it to be their own little game of peek-a-boo. Once he found her, he would drag her back to his lair while she howled like a battered animal begging for mercy and shove her into the bedroom till her tears dried and her cries reduced to inaudible sobs.
She knew she couldn't go to the police for he would always blackmail her with videos of their bedroom trysts which he had recorded without her knowledge. Neither could she leave the city for he had made sure that she was penniless. Her only respite from it all were the eight hours that she spent in the office. Sometimes she wished to call someone and tell them her story but the bastard didn't even give her a cell phone! The son of a…
Her reverie was broken as she heard footsteps approaching her from the bathroom. He grabbed her frail wrist with a force that sent jolts of pain down her arm and brusquely dragged her into the bedroom. She knew what would happen next...she always did. It happened every day yet, she wished to scream at the top of her lungs till someone would hear her and come to her rescue. But like always, she never actually did. Instead, all she could manage was an inaudible, "Please…".
He smirked as he saw her eyes clench shut and her lips move in inaudible cries of mercy as he stripped her off her dignity and reveled in the glory of his brutalities. He traced a finger down her swollen lip which had a deep gash from where he had slapped her earlier in the evening while he forced his way with her...again!
After an hour of abusing the breathing but emotionless corpse, he left her to stare at the ceiling. She felt dirty, abused and most of all, violated.
She knew that no matter how much she scrubbed herself in the shower, she would still be able to feel his lecherous fingers graze against her body, groping her savagely while her hear would explode into a million tiny pieces that would wither and die at every sickening touch.
She also knew that there was nothing she could do about it. She knew that she didn't deserve this. She knew that she was a prisoner in her own home. She knew that waiting for help was pointless. She had probably known the last bit for quite some time now. Probably, the only reason she had never retaliated was because she had some speck of hope left...hope that he would change...hope that it was a passing phase...hope that somewhere in that demonic debauchery, there lived a guy who still loved her.
But today, she had lost that hope. She had no more illusions. Today, she knew that she would end the pain once and for all. She thought about how it would feel to die. How would she feel once she attained salvation from this purgatory?
She made her way to the kitchen where he sat munching on his ready to eat dinner, reading his newspaper while he acted as though nothing had happened. Her fingers traced the edges of the kitchen knife and she relished the feel of the cool metal against her skin. She wondered what would it feel like if the blade broke through the skin, slicing the major veins and arteries...would it be fatal? Oh, how she wished so!
She had made up her mind. She would end it. She had to end it. It was the only way...then she would be free from the clutches of this evil man forever.
She smiled as she lifted the knife and thrust it through the heart with all her might. A faint scream escaped her lips and then she felt numb. She heard him drop his dinner as he looked at her through eyes wide open. The blood trickled on the hardwood floor as the now limp body sank to the ground while he stared in shock. She looked at her hands and then to him. Next, she looked at knife plunged in his heart while he lay in a pool of blood- motionless and dead.
After what seemed like ages, she smiled...the same sardonic smile he used to give her only this time, she was the one who had avenged her violation.