I Must Go

August 9, 2012

Mama. Mama, don’t cry. Don’t cry, Mama. I can’t see you cry. It’s too painful. I’m sorry, Mama but I have to go. She’s calling me. She’s been calling me for a long time but I kept putting her off. Kept telling her that I want to spend some time with my Mama, but Mama you also have to understand that I made a promise her a promise. I promised her I would go to her as soon as I was fed up with everything. No, no, Mama, that’s not what I meant. You’ve done everything in your ability to keep me happy and I thank you for that. I’m truly grateful but you must also understand my situation. I can’t break my promise. You always told me to keep my promises and as a result I always did and never broke any… I won’t start now. Please, Mama, try to understand. I must go. She’s yearning for me just as much as I’m yearning for her. She’s beckoning me to fall into her warm embrace and I must go. I can’t hold myself back anymore. You mustn’t try to hold two lovers back from each other, Mama. It’s not right. Oh Lord, Mama, see what you’ve done? I’m running out of time, Mama. I have to go now, I must. I love you, Mama and I always will. I have to meet my lover, Mama. It’s been too long. We’ve been waiting for a long time for this moment. I’ve kept her waiting for way too long and I don’t want to lose her. She’s my only friend, you have to understand. On all those lonely days, when I felt like I had no one to talk to, to confide in, she was there, listening, nodding her head at what I was saying. I can’t lose her, Mama. I can’t break our bond. This is my only chance for earning her acceptance and I’m not going to blow it. Oh look, time’s up. I must go. No turning back, no more procrastinating. It’s only going to be her and me. I’ll get going now. Sorry, Mama but she’s calling me. Death is calling me.

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