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A Monster

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Drew was a flirt. That was for sure. He would put his arms around different girls for no reason. He would grab them by their waist and drag them into the pool. She would sit and watch, feeling nothing. She used to wish it was her being dragged into the water. Wished it was her playfully fighting the arms around her waist. Wished it was her who had an arm wrapped protectively around her shoulders. First she wished it. Then it was. Now it wasn’t. Now she felt nothing. She pulled herself out of the pool and ran towards the pile of books Emily was giving away. She stood a few minutes later, scanning to see if any precious diamonds had escaped her eye.

Then Drew came up behind her and put his arm around her shoulders. She gently pushed away, but he tightened his grip. She pushed harder, fearing the memories that might come to mind. Her released her, then grabbed her around her waist and began to drag her towards the pool. Suddenly she wasn’t there anymore. She was at Sunsplash, kicking and screaming as Josh carried her though the waterfall. She was in line for Stealth, scared to death with his strong arms around her. Then she was at home, reading something she had written so long ago. She was in front of the computer, relieved that it was over. Then she was in her bed, tossing and turning, unable to sleep. Then she was at the dance, staring into Taylor’s eyes, her heart beating fast. Then she felt overwhelming fear.

She tore herself from drew’s arms, backing against the wall, eyes squeezed shut, trying to block it all out. Her breathing was fast and shallow. She heard Drew call her name, but she ignored him. She opened her eyes, ran to the pool and flung herself in the water. She pulled herself out, ran around to the deep end, and flung herself in again. And again. And again. Over and over she flung herself in the water. Her friends would reach for her, asking what was wrong. She would shove them away and fling herself in again.

She was trying to drown out the images, drown out the feelings. Drown out the fear. Tears streaming down her face she jumped again and again. Trying to drown the memories. Trying to drown what she had become; cold and heartless. She didn’t care anymore; she’d knock a boy flat on his face and laugh at him. She’d ignore every attempt at flirting. She was cold and uncaring. Because she was afraid. Fear kept her locked up, turned her into what she was.

And he had brought the fear.

Finally one of her friends grabbed her by the wrists and spun her around. “Tell me,” she demanded. “Rachel tell me what’s wrong.” She broke down in her friends arms, sobbing in to her shoulder.

“Him,” she sobbed. “He turned me into this. Into this… this uncaring thing.”

“What did he turn you into?”

Her cold, unfeeling eyes looked up.

“A monster.”

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Emmadelema said...
Nov. 15, 2012 at 11:10 pm
Love it girl! Totally feeling made me want to tear up!
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