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"Falling" in Love

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Have you ever felt so alone that it hurts? The need of want surges inside of you, as you put it off as hunger or thirst. You know your body is satiated, you just don’t want to think that you are alone – truly alone.

No friends, no family. No one, except yourself. You try not to dwell too long on the fact – but your mind keeps coming up with reasons to. You’re at the grocery store, looking at bult items, wondering how in the world one person could eat all of that fo- it’s for a family. Or a barbeque with friends. You stop shopping there, walking out of the store with tears in your eyes. Or maybe you’re eating out – since you’ve stopped shopping for your food altogether. You try to avoid staring at the young couple in the corner, attempting to suck on another’s faces off. The large menu makes a great shield for that… But how can you elude your waitress – glowing with several months of pregnancy. You leave that café too – and get scowls from the pregnant woman whom you didn’t leave a tip for.

The media does not help either – with celebrity marriages and break-ups, stupid love songs that make you want to vomit, and advertisements every thirty seconds that make you want to scream anyway. You can’t escape – you are trapped against your own will – and you were never one to flee from your enemy.

No. You are going to fight – crank up Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger” and go for a run, and beat this out. You lace up your old red – now turning brown – Chuck Taylors, and turn up your iPod.
It's the eye of the tiger
It's the thrill of the fight
Risin' up to the challenge
Of our rival
And the last known survivor *

That’s it. No one even questions joggers – they just sort of blend into the background. You can let our your depression and anger with each huff of breath, each time your foot pounds against the sidewalk. You feel completely relaxed, as happy as you have been for a long time, and y-

You run into a man.

Apologetic words drop from your mouth, as you tear out your earbuds.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there. Are you okay? I can call 911” You manage to say in under two seconds. You offer your hand to the man – who fell thanks to you not looking where you were going – but he refuses. He’s not as old as you thought – he’s in his young twenties – your age.

“I’m alright” He chuckles, a beautiful sound that makes butterflies soar inside your stomach. His eyes find yours, and you nearly faint – he is so handsome. A business man, by the look of his clothes, and the sense of his hurried gait. “Are you okay?”

“F-fine” You stutter – a nervous habit that you have never been able to beat. “I’m fine”

He puts his hand out for you. “Nice to meet you, Fine” The old joke brings a smile to your dry lips. “I’m David”

“Samantha” The warmth of his touch is enough to make you say the word correctly. It’s the first human contact you’ve had in years… And it’s going pretty well.

“Well Samantha,” He glances at his watch, your hand still in his.

You take a moment before he continues to brace yourself for the goodbye. He has a job to get to, he’ll say. Or “I’m married, gotta go.” You ready the words on your lips :”Nice to meet you.” Yeah, that’s what you’ll say. It’s not too needy, not too frank. Nice to meet you.

“Would you like to have lunch with me?”

“Nice t-“ You stop. He’s asked you to join him for lunch. That’s a normal date… Right? He’s asking me out on a date? What if we go to that café with the pregnant woman who wants to kill me for not leaving a tip? Or what if we go to some really sleazy place, and he kills me? Or what if everything goes fine, and we get married, and he cheats on you? Or – oh no – what if he gets hit by a car while crossing the street, and you have to be alone (again) for the rest of your life?

“Yes.”



*Chorus from "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor




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