Relationships Suck

July 18, 2012
By , Johnstown, OH
Whenever you see a homosexual couple, you probably think "Wow! They must be so happy together! If only my relationship could be like that!". Well I'm here to tell you that homosexual relationships aren't always better than people think. If anything they are worse. People think that there's something about being with someone of the same sex that makes them last longer and flourish. I'm about to tell the story of my last relationship. That's right, last. People say that after a bad relationship that they're done with it. But they're not. That's what he told me. But I know that he is going to find someone else. But I'm not. I have never wanted to get married and have kids so I don't plan on doing so in my life. Maybe that's why it was a bad idea to start this relationship. But why not have some fun in the meantime? This, as you will learn, is apparently leading someone on. But i guess I will share my story and see what you think.
It was the end of my sophomore year when I started to like him. I'm not normally into guys who are obviously gay. But, something just had me head over heels. I spent a month playing little games trying to get him to notice me. In the end I wrote a note and had a friend deliver it to him, telling him how i feel. The next day we started dating. Only after several days we felt that we loved each other very much. It was crazy. We talked about marriage and all the good stuff. But secretly i felt bad. I was not getting married! ever! and he wanted to. Of course, We weren't doing any of this tomorrow. It would be many years until any of this happened. Besides we wouldn't last that long anyways. So, it was really nice at first. But then he confessed that one of his ex's died recently and he wasn't over it yet. He said he regretted ever dating me because he felt guilty about it and now he was just wasting my time. Loving him at the moment, I refused to let go. But now he and I agree that he just should of let me down with that note.
We got over it and we back to being in love. Another issue, I couldn't bear to show any affection while being in school. People were watching. Countless people I don't talk to know about my sexuality now. I thought about coming out for him, like two girls who had done so earlier that year, but I just couldn't do it. My parents can never find out about me. I know how they would react, so there's no way I'm doing it. My religious views also were a problem. Being a christian, homosexuality is sinful. After talking to him I got the classic "Don't let a book control your life!" speech. All of these factors would cause too much issue and we would end one day. But why should we break up about it now?
The last day of school I invited him over, knowing my parents wouldn't be home. We shared a magical moment that day. No, we didn't have sex. I want to die a virgin and that day I got as close to sex as I ever will. I won't explain it in explicit detail, but we shared something special. We had our first kiss. It wasn't his or my first ever kiss, but our first kiss together. I was repulsed. Both times i made out with a person were disgusting. I held back a little to keep his tongue out of my mouth. All kissing just repulses me. Then we cuddled, which was nice. We invaded each others private squares, but not in the way you think. That's as far as I will go. I felt dirty after that. I knew it could never happen again. We didn't talk much during the summer. He was getting on my nerves with text messages reading "Hey babe" which I would ignore. I think he got the message after awhile and stopped texting all together. I knew that the last time we spoke would be the end of it. Maybe we should just take this silence as the breaking up. I later found out this is what he wanted, but after a week I ended it.
We didn't last two months. But it felt like it had been longer. After this i met a new side of him. A truly nasty person that shocked me. I learned all these things he felt about me. Overall i was confused. A week ago he was getting on my nerves, but we were still together. Now i was one getting on his nerves. I was calm and civil while he went off about what he felt of me. I won't go into full detail because it still hurts to think about it and even now as I'm typing my hands are shaking. He threatened to tell my parents about me. Said he would turn my life upside down. I know he won't do it though. By now he has forgotten about it. Even if he did, I would go to him mom about it. She has a facebook. It seems like a suitable thing to do for a little kid trying to play games with me. If he wants to play "Pretty Little Liars" I suggest he starts by killing a couple people. But he has already ruined the element of surprise because i know who he is if he sent me text messages from a blocked number. But I'm not scared at all. Just hurt that he would do that. Anyways, I wished him luck in life and he told me that anything i get is well-deserved karma. Well, the universe won't punish me for it. God will. When judgment day comes we will see. Of course, I don't want anyone going to the lake of fire. He did apologize though. He said I never got to know the real him because he felt awkward being around me because I'm extremely. I responded saying it was okay because I just met the real him and I didn't want to know anymore.
He still has a book I lent to him. He never got into reading it. But now I want it back. He said he would get it back to me. That probably won't be until school starts. I texted him wondering when I might get it back and we had another lovely conversation. I still think I'm getting it back. And I have a necklace he gave me. It's a chain with a ring on it. The ring says "always and forever" pretty ironic. I told him he should take it back but he doesn't want it. Once I get my book back I will burn or depose of the ring somehow. But I'm going to keep the necklace. We still have another year of school. He will be a senior. So, all the next year when he sees me, he will probably fill with anger. I think I might smile or even laugh. And I wait for the day that he serves me my food when I pull into McDonald's where he works.
Hopefully, I taught you a little something about relationships. Even though I didn't go into full detail. I was going to make it a little more about the bullying but there wasn't much. Something tells me this story will be extremely popular. So, if you're reading this, Do not go into a homosexual relationship! They are far too difficult and complicated. I also ask that you be mature and not leave snide and discriminating comments. Peace out.





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