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Daddy's Little Girl
Life is what you make out of it. If you’re going to succeed, go hard or go home. Failure is not an option.
These are all phrases Daddy told me a million times, and what I’ll probably hear a million more times in the future, at least that’s what I thought.
In my mind, I thought everyone thought this way.
But in reality, not many really did.
Why did he push ME so hard when all my friends were outside playing? Why didn’t I get to go to little sleepovers and tea parties like all the other little girls?
Oh yeah.. Sorry guys I have practice. Sorry guys I have to finish my science fair project. Sorry guys I have rehearsal. Sorry guys.. Don’t be mad, please?
I didn’t understand why my “friends” didn’t call me anymore, didn’t want to hang out with me anymore. Daddy why don’t we play hopscotch after swim classes anymore? Why don’t we play with my dolls like we used to?
Baby girl, they can’t keep up with you anymore. You have so much going for you.
But Daddy didn’t understand! Daddy I want some friends! I want to be a normal girl.
I never understood why Daddy didn’t let me wear the name brands and the skinny jeans. Daddy why can’t I wear the sequined bikinis at the pool party like all the other little girls?
I didn’t understand that Daddy was just trying to protect me. He wanted me to see that there were better things in life.
As I got older, I was sick of Daddy not letting me do normal stuff. Why did I have to hide my beauty from the boys in my classes? They said I was pretty! Why did I always have to do homework, sports, and music? Didn’t he see that I wanted to be normal?
You know why you aren’t normal baby girl? You’re special because you have your mind to guide you through the obstacles of life. You have your strength to keep you going, you have your music, which makes life a symphony of colors and beauty.
I didn’t see that daddy’s pleas were growing weaker and weaker. How daddy’s face was loosing the hardness to it, how daddy was always in and out of the doctors office. Why was Daddy taking so much medicine? Why didn’t Daddy come to my swim meets, recitals, and decathlons anymore?
What was happening to my Daddy?
One day, I came home from practice, I open the door and I see Daddy on the floor coughing, but this cough was a cough of dread, I grab him and call 911 so they can save my Daddy. As the ambulance carries us off, why were they giving Daddy CPR? Were those crash cards?! They have to save my Daddy! Please help him! One moment and I’ve blacked out.
I wake up in a hospital chair next to my Daddy, I peer over and what I saw wasn’t him at all. This man lying here was broken and torn. I looked at myself and I knew I hadn’t been true to my Daddy, this man was my true friend, my hero, my everything. Wasn’t there anymore. “Hey baby girl..”, he said. What happened to my big strong Daddy? The one who held me when I was upset no one wanted to hang out with me. Who pushed me so hard and just wanted me to succeed. What happened to my stern, chocolaty superman? The one who told me the sky was the limit.
Daddy.. I cry. As hot tears ran out of my eyes, I knew that the one who was my inspiration wouldn’t be there anymore. I had to get a grip of myself, because Daddy taught me better. I had to be strong for both of us. I had to protect my Daddy as he did for me for all these years.
My Daddy didn’t get to see me become the successful young woman he knew I would be. He didn’t get to see me fulfill my legacy as his daughter, the strong, independent, intelligent young woman he raised me to be.
But his legacy has grown into me and I know Daddy will always be with me.