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How to Become the First Female President

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First and foremost, pay attention in school. Studying law in college will be a must, therefore you need good grades. If you wish to change the country, you need to initially learn and value it’s every problem. When history teachers give you the count on how many troops are being sent back to Iraq, write it down in your overwhelming notebook of perpetual thoughts, and leave the page with a reducing number of troops to be sent home by the time you reach your third month in office. Even if it is never a homework assignment, do your research on every former president as well as the initial one serving today to discover all their compliments and flaws. Even if you do feel that you know all the facts, you’re wrong- learn more. Then tell yourself what you’re going to do when you make the same, similar mistakes that they did. Before you put up your large encyclopedia of the United States presidents, ask yourself, “Did they do this because of their masculinity?” Use your mental answer with advantage later on. But, only do this after you wipe away the masculinity inside yourself that you never before realized was there until you said nasty things to your brother and went on with a defensive attack.
Realize that you have problems too. Go to therapy. Lay back in that nice cozy red chair that the doctor has set up for every other psychotic person in the city, and simply close your eyes. Of course a million thoughts will come to your head about leaving the flat iron on, what you’ll need at the store next week, or when you’ll get that call from your Dad. Tell the therapist about all these thoughts. Chances are they come from deep inside that heart that you never opened up to anyone. You’ll have to discuss family issues, obviously. You’ll go deep into your parents’ divorce from when you were twelve and how your Mom kicked your Dad out of the house for “working too hard”- which are words not even close to each other in your vocabulary. After you pour your lost soul into a stranger, relax. You just discovered yourself a little more.
Enjoy yourself at high school graduation. The hard part of life has yet to come. After getting accepted into law school, your future became a little more complicated- and legally binding. You have to make it through the difficult and long hours of the semester nights to come in order to fill your dream. No one wants a dropout as their country’s representative. Once you make it through your first two years, sign up for the “Law and Order” workshops in Washington, D.C. Your future home will inspire you. Once you arrive, go straight to the White House. Stand outside the guarded gates and get your picture taken while holding an American flag. Of course you’ll look like every other tourist, but have a little fun- you’re going to be very busy soon. While in Washington, try to change a law. Whether it be on terrorism, abortion, or simply underage drinking- take a stand. But take a stand that is initially yours, that came from your mind, and that developed internally inside you. Then, cross yourself off the list for the future politics that ramble on about trivial matters derived from previous runners in the Democratic Party. You just made your mark.
Be honored in graduate school. Since you did help the country with your revision to a previous law, let that be known to your residence on campus and especially your higher up college professors. Have your name printed in the graduation program for achievements, even if the font size is ten. Once you walk across the stage for the second time (this time being far more important) look out in the crowd to savior this moment. You will notice that your Mom is there along with your brother who is now a senior in high school, but still playing his Nintendo at an official event. You’ll be slightly disappointed that your Dad is not there, but then again you aren’t nearly surprised.
Take the number one spot as lawyer in your metro city. Although being a lawyer isn’t what you aspire to be, you did graduate from law school, and it would help if you weren’t in debt from school loans and those tricky credit cards you signed up for on your way to the college cafeteria. It is highly necessary that you pay off all your student bills with no better way than to make a couple thousand to save over. Work hard for about twenty years. You’ll get tired and cranky, and of course loose a couple cases, but your name will be known. People will come to you for advice and help. Some you’ll occasionally be told to turn down, but you’ve learned to love everyone, therefore you begin to help whenever you can with no questions asked. Even though some people disapprove of your actings, you don’t let them invade your personal life and thoughts.
Now, take pride in your upcoming election. Meaning, when it does start, be respectful about it. Don’t try to make other’s feel beneath you- you hate that feeling yourself. Don’t think about the end result just yet. Just think of how you’re going to supply a well produced speech to the states tomorrow. Pass out buttons that say “Vote Now!” and let the people see you as their friend.
Sooner or later, the votes are in, counted, and ready to be announced.
Take remembrance. As you’re standing in the decorated room of red, white, and blue with all your closest friends think of why you did this. Look to your left and see your best friend Peter who has been with you since childhood. Tell him you’re glad to take a chance such as this, and that the end result doesn’t matter. Then come to a realization. Did you do this for you, or someone else? Did you always agree with your Mom when she told you that the president was cheap and putting out his best for the people? Then, whisper something strangely important to your friend Peter.
“It will be fine if the votes don’t turn my way. My Dad deserves a second term in office, right?”





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