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The Memory Dream

"Drop it." you whisper, voice quivering. Your eyes ruin your attempt at hiding fear.

I throw my head back and laugh.

"Why don't you come and get it if you want it so bad?" I say confident you aren't going to budge. You don't, you lower your weapon and look at me expectantly.

I grip mine tighter as you say, "Come on... you don't want to do this..."

I ready my finger, glaring I say, "You don't knoww me."

I cock my gun. You swallow hard, slowly backing up.

"What happened to no one will get hurt?" you ask, nervous.

Your anxiety feeds into the power I feel over you. I'm in control, and you are completely vulnerable to my next move. That's when I smile.

"I lied." I shrug as I pull the trigger.

You are soaked and slip trying to dodge the water my gun is shooting at your face. I laugh watching you struggle to keep your balance on the muddy ground. After I've hit you a few times, I laugh as you glare at me.

"Oh your on." you say, running to grab your weapon off the ground. You shoot at me, I run and dodge like a pro, shooting back at you.

You are fast, and soon you catch up to me. You laugh and throw down your water gun as you lunge at me, grabbing me around my waist. I scream out in protest as we both go hurtling into the pool.

A splash later I swim back up to the surface, only to be dragged under water by you. The clear water allows me to see you grin. I kick you away and swim back up. This time I get away before you can capture me again. I sit up on the side. When you come up you swim over to me, your face at my feet, I rise one up threatening to kick you in the face.

"No, no... truce?" you ask, using your typical lost puppy dog face.

"Alright, truce... but next time I won't be so merciful." I tease.

You grunt as you sit behind me. You lean in and kiss my cheek, causing me to blush as always. "Next time I won't take it so easy on you." you hiss in my ear. I give a fake, hearty laugh and gently shove you back. You look at me in a weird way and I look down to avoid it. That's when you tickle me. I slap your hands.

"Stop." I call out giggling.

"You think you're so cute don't you?" your mock as you continue to tickle. I lie back and grin. You lean forward and continue to tickle me.

I grab both your hands and place them beside me, you lean down and kiss me. Little circuits of energy are running up and down my body as you rub your hands on my waist. Our warm, wet bodies are pressed against each other, the pressure is only making it seem easier to breathe. My breath becomes short and quick as we trade kisses. Soon you're on top of me, legs on either side of my waist. You lean up for a second to look into my eyes, only making me feel warmer. I pull you back down into an even deeper kiss.

My mom's voice interrupts "Hey, cool it down you two, lunch is ready." she says before going back inside.

You sigh and lay beside me. You're pecking my shoulder, causing me to look over, you grin. "I'm counting the freckles."

I groan "Why?"

"Because each one you have just makes you that much more beautiful." you say, puckering your lips.

"Oh, what a line." I say, getting up and heading to my house to get into some dry clothes.

"Only you can make me this cheesy." you call after me.

I roll my eyes and look back at you. You are so hot, propping yourself up on the ground. Wet clothes allow me to see a chiseled body. I grin wondering how I ever got so lucky.

"Only you can feed me such bull cr*p and I believe every bit of it." I say, teasingly.

"You love me." you laugh.

Guilty, I think. But say, "Oh, how can you be so sure?"

You look at me before saying quickly, "Because I can tell when your lying, and when you say you love me, you're telling the truth."

I sigh. "I love you."

You get up and walk towards me, "I love you too."

You reach out to hug me, but I dodge the hug and run inside, yelling out "Get into something dry."

I hear you laugh before I get to my room.

When I come downstairs you're wearing my brothers' shorts and tee, sitting down helping yourself to lunch. I cross my arms.

"Since when are you so welcome here that you think you can scarf down our food?" I ask, smirking.

You look up at me, take a moment to swallow and say "Since you feel welcome enough to come in my house and steal my hoodie." you gesture to what I'm wearing. I wrap my arms around myself and smile. I loved this hoodie. It smelt like you... it made me feel like you had your arms around me all the time.

I look up and smile at you, then sit down to eat.

Mid way through my BBQ you look at me and ask "You busy tonight?"

I pretend to think real hard before saying "Eh, not really, but I don't wanna hang out with a bum like you.. sorry."

"Oh, what a tease." you mock, gently slugging my shoulder.

"Seriously though, no I'm free, why?" I ask.

"Oh... you knoww what today is right?" you give me a knowwing look.

I have no idea. "Um... nooo... should I?"

You place your hand over your heart and pretend to be hurt "Oh... oh wow, you don't even remember our year and a half anniversary? Geez."

I feel guilty then. "Oh no, I'm sorry honey, really I am, it means a lot to me and you knoww that I'm just not good with dates, I forget you know-"

You throw your hand up "Stop talking, ha, it's okay." you smile.

I love you. You were so carefree. You were laid back. Never really got offended. I could relax around you. I smile and give you a hug. "So, what did you want to do to celebrate?"

You pull back and wink "Just be ready at eight, I'll pick you up."

A few hours later I'm obsessing about how lumpy each thing I put on makes me look. I finally settle for a short, blue dress with white flats and go with a diamond headband. 'Decent enough' I think.

I hear the doorbell ring and quickly rush downstairs to swing the door open. There you stand, tuxedo t-shirt, dark jeans, converse, and bouquet of roses in hand. You look at me with a special twinkle in your eye before reaching out to grab my hand. I give it to you, to receive a little kiss on my wrist.

"Come with me for a wild evening ma'am." you say in a fake voice.

I giggle thinking how ridiculous this all is, but comply. I went along with whatever you said... I trusted you wouldn't disappoint me. When we got up to the car you opened the door.

"Hop on in." you smile. After I got in you closed the door behind me and skipped to the drivers side.

When you started up the car I asked, "Where are we going?"

"Shh, it's a surprise." you hushed. I kept silent. You put in a CD, and our song plays. 'Unstoppable' by Alicia Keys. You sang along, making me laugh.

After a few cheesy love songs, we arrive at a restaurant. I don't knoww which one because you make me close my eyes. I let you lead me out and then you say "Okay, open."

I look and smile. It was 'LaChellos', the place we went to for our first date. Oh it was so cute. It had paper for the table cloths and you could draw on it. We had doodled a heart with out initials in it the last time we came. Last I heard they were letting people graffiti the walls. It was Italian, my favorite, you couldn't have done better.

When we got to a table, you kept smiling at me till you finally said something "Okay, so what's your favorite memory of us?"

I thought. We had done a lot... and had a lot of fun. But nothing beats that one day at the lake. "Spring Break, last year... my parents cabin next to the lake... it was the best." I say, beginning to imagine us jumping in the water, fully clothed. Looking like fools but not caring because we were fools in love.

You laugh "Yeah... if that's your favorite I want you to close your eyes and picture it for me."

I did. I laughed. I saw you wrap your arms around me... then dunk me under water. I came up and hit you. You came after me and kissed me... we were so childish. I thought on about that night, sitting at the dock and just watching the moonlight flicker in the water. We were warm in each others arms. You had kissed me on the forehead and said "I love you." for the first time. We didn't do anything special that night. We were just together.

"Open." you say.

When I do you're holding a ring in front of my face. I gasp. I look at the ring, then look at you. My heart is ready to burst out of my chest. I can't resist that big goofy grin that spreads across my face.

"Will you marry me?" you ask.

I didn't even hesitate "Yes! Oh my god yes!"

"Really?" you laugh, sliding the ring on my finger.

"Oh, you betcha babe." I say. Coming around the table to embrace you. We grab each other tightly. You peck my forehead.

"I love you." you whisper.

"I will always love you." I respond, tears welling up.

***


Then I wake up. I'm alone. In a barren house. I'm cold, with only sheets wrapped around me. My pillow is soaked in last nights tears. Bottles of sorrow clank together as I stand up and push them out of the way. I stumble over to the mirror and look at a scarred face. A baby's piercing cry cuts threw the air. I sigh and wipe my crusty eyes. I take a second look. For a moment I can see past the scars. I can see what a beautiful thing I used to be a part of. The baby lets out a second cry that snaps me back to reality. 'Yeah, a beautiful disaster.' I think before heading on my way to care for a fatherless child.




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