When and How do you Confront a Liar?

May 22, 2012
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When and how do you confront a liar? The timing is crucial. You have to be prepared, and know what to say and when to say it. You can’t show that you are about to accuse him. Yet you have to make it clear that there is a problem. Don’t smile too much, it’s just scary. You can’t just flat out start screaming at her because that is stupid and pointless if you want to know the facts; and the fact is people really don’t like it when you’re all up in their face. The best thing to do is to act like nothing is wrong, and just bring up the subject slowly and collectively. You also must provide evidence that you know that person is telling a lie. You should have good evidence too, so they have no choice but to own up to the crime they have committed.
How will the person react to the accusation? There are very different ways I could go about this. There could be thousands of reactions from the liar, and it is really hard to predict how he or she will act. It seems that I have only figured out three ways. One, the person could go off in an uncontrollable rage where he completely denies the accusation and breaks something. Two, she could take it in an offensive way and then deny being in any part of it. Three, that person could blackmail you. He could also admit to it, but in my case it is highly unlikely.
What if she tries to run away? You have to try to put up blockades where she can’t; no matter what, get out of the situation. Make a system. Remember, this is all about planning ahead. The key is to have someone in on the plan with you. Block all doorways, windows, crawl spaces, or anything that is small enough for that person to fit into. Again, don’t smile too much, it might scare them away.
What if that person tries to make up an even bigger lie just to cover the first one? Don’t fall for it. If your gut is telling you that he is still lying, then he probably is. You often notice this when they try too hard. Don’t get sucked into their big puppy eyes, or their very detailed and thought-out lie where they just make up some random stuff that fits together in very scary and unreal ways. Just keep telling them that you need to know the truth. Make it clear that you are not going to back down, and hopefully they will finally break. If you have to result to threatening ways and physical pain, it won’t work ,so save your soul and don’t do it.
You may ask, “Why are you planning this conversation out so much?”
The reason is, what was stolen from me, was very dear to my heart. This thing was very special to me and I would do anything to have it back. It was the first thing that I ever got that I really appreciated. I guarded that thing with my life. We were connected in a way no one could understand. When it was taken from me I went on a hunger strike. After three hours I gave up and had a fruit snack.
Then I started to collect evidence. Well you could say the evidence found me in a way. I found a photograph with a note. The note said, “This is who took it.” The picture was of someone very familiar to me, but it couldn’t be true. This person would never take my most prized possession away from me. I had no other leads, so I started planning out the rescue for my lost item.
I think I’m ready. I know I’m prepared. Bobby will be home from school any second now. Melissa is in place in the cupboard ready to attack when necessary. I’m sitting at the kitchen table waiting for him.
“Melissa, stop breathing so hard,” I whispered. She poked her head out and gave a little bark then she disappeared in the cupboard again.
I heard the front door open and Bobby came into the kitchen and flung his bag into a chair.
“Hey Diana, what’ve you been doing all day?” Bobby asked.
Waiting for you. I thought. Instead I said in an icy voice, “Nothing.”
He was caught off guard by my tone, “What’s wrong?” he asked. All of my preparation disappeared.
I jumped down from my seat and yelled, “You took my twenty dollar bill you fart face!” My face was filled with rage.
“That is not language a five year old should be using,” he laughed.
“Don’t avoid the issue. I know you did it!” I yelled again, pointing an angry finger in his direction.
“Sorry, chill out, I didn’t even know it was yours,” then he handed me my twenty dollar bill. I stood there gaping. I was dumbfounded. I had wasted a whole day of my life. I had never expected such a turn in events.
“How did you not know it was mine? It was my first twenty ever!” Diana yelled, not concealing her anger and frustration.
“They all look the same. What’s the big deal? You have it back now,” and he walked out of the room.
I sat back down, trying to put together my thoughts. I could have been doing much more useful things with my day.
“Well, at least I have my twenty dollar bill. Mission completed, Mellissa,” Diana said. I got up and started walking to my room, wondering what I would do for the rest of the day.
I stopped walking suddenly realizing something and said, to no one in particular, “Then who gave me the photograph of Bobby?”





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