Monologue: The Crocodile Hunter

May 15, 2012
I’m not psychotic. Really. I am one hundred percent sane. Now, people who bomb buildings and think they see dead people, those are the psychos. But me? (Walks across all white room) All I did was try to hunt a couple hundred crocodiles. How is that psychotic? I am Steve Irwin for crying out loud! I knew what I was doing when I captured that tiger for my zoo! And there was no need for the neighbors to call the police when they saw the crocodiles walking around my backyard! You’d think that people would have a little more respect for someone trying to save a species! And when the police came to take me to this place, they acted like they had no idea who I was! I mean, I’m not trying to be cocky but you can’t turn on Animal Planet and not hear the name of Steve Irwin. And when I told the police who I was, they tried to tell me that the “real” Steve Irwin died. Crickey! I am the real Steve Irwin! Those cops are the ones that need to be in this mental hospital, not me! (Paces across the room) now that I think about it, I am all alone in this room talking to myself…. Maybe I am insane! (Makes a scared face)

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