Advice To Juniors

April 29, 2012
By Anonymous

You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink, my mom always told me. But you can also lead a horse to a five star buffet, a beach, and the movies. Most people don’t listen to others advice, especially teenagers. Kids, I would listen to my advice because it is imperative to your well-being. When I was told to speak here tonight, I felt overwhelmed with excitement because I knew I was helping change the world in some way- also because I have a date after this. “High school is the most important time of your life”, you will hear this millions of times before you get out of school. In my opinion, your junior year is the most important year of your school career. If you don’t do well in this year, you will not graduate. This may sound harsh, but don’t worry there are other options for you. I hear homeless people make around $12,000 a year- enough to live comfortably in a roomy dumpster. In order to avoid smelling like trash and old socks for the rest of your life, I am providing you with these tips.

As a junior, procrastination will be your death sentence. The act of procrastination will get you as far as Kim Kardashian’s singing career. If you do not know what procrastination is, look it up in the dictionary. To not procrastinate, you need a calendar and the diligence and determination portrayed in the movie “Rocky”- running up and down stairs may not pertain to your situation. Procrastination kills approximately fifty people a year and is very serious. Children at my high school were always procrastinating because they were busy, or they had a death in the family, or their dog ate their homework. These three things were always the most frequent answer to the question “why don’t you have your assignment”? And I could never figure out why. To not end up like these kids, you need to start your homework right when you get home from school- unless the “Real Housewives of New Jersey” is on.

Working hard is another key role in the play that is your junior year. Working hard means that you know when it was over, you did the best you thought you could- or at least how well you told your mom you did. Not working hard results you in becoming a failure who doesn’t know what’s going on or where they are headed in their life. Working hard helps you in life because you build up a work ethic that is essential when having a job- also cheating helps get here too.

Anther serious disease you can catch is senioritis. This is usually caught by children in their junior year, but hanging out with them frequently may cause this to spread. Senioritis is caused by the thought process of leaving your jail-celled high school behind you very shortly. This disease may cause procrastination, slacking off, sleeping in class, hunger, restlessness, absence from school, etc. In order to prevent this disease from making you its new victim, always wash your hands three times a day and cover your mouth when you sneeze. Another way to prevent this is to not think about the fact that you are leaving high school in a little over than a year. This thought process will be the end of all your hard work and ny 2diligence- don’t be its next victim, educate yourself.

In your junior year of high school, institutions of higher learning make you take tests called the SAT and the ACT. If you haven’t taken these tests yet, I would drop out while you still can. These tests can make or break your acceptance into your dream college. To do well you should probably get a tutor because let’s be honest, no one actually studies at home by themselves. A tutor will show the correct techniques that result in doing your very best on this test. Listen to your tutor because they know all the secrets to pass both tests. Don’t get too overwhelmed though thinking about all you have to do in one year and how you probably won’t get into the college of your dreams, and the fact that you most definitely will not get a job right out of college. Just think positive thoughts and do your best on everything.

Organization is imperative when it comes to school work and your life. This is why we have so many types of Tupperware in America. Staying organized can either be the straw that broke the camel’s back or the golden ticket, only you can decide. If you don’t stay organized, all your hard work will go to waste because you will waste so much time looking for a piece of paper or a folder. Although, if you do stay organized you will be the smartest person in your school-not just because of your IQ. To stay organized go out and buy some folders, markers, binders, pencil boxes, anything useful, and some reinforcements- just to make you feel good about yourself. Put these newly bought objects to use by placing papers in folders and pencils in pencil boxes. This act will help you tremendously in life; ask your parents if you don’t believe me.

With all this technology and hands- on information and communication, the world is very exciting, but also distracting for scholars like your selves. Having your phone near your study area will result in the deactivation of your education. While doing homework, you should turn your phone to the off position but make sure you know where the four exits are and be aware of the pilot’s seatbelt sign. That feeling you get when you don’t have your phone with you, can now be alleviated because you still have it but now it’s not distracting. Cell phones cause distractions that keep children from focusing on what they need to focus on. Computers don’t help with this either- social networking is only cool for Justin Timberlake and London Tipton. Getting distracted with technology throws you off your game and may cause early onset Senioritis. In class, don’t use your phone either- you should nap instead.
I hope you were taking notes on this information because it is very important for life skills too. You have now been granted with the tools to educate yourself and do well in life, don’t mess it up.

The author's comments:
Our teacher told us to write a piece to share your advice with someone satirically

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This article has 1 comment.

Prose said...
on Jul. 2 2012 at 6:13 pm
Prose, Buffalo, New York
0 articles 0 photos 33 comments

Favorite Quote:
\"Shoot for the moon; even if you miss you\'ll land among the stars.\"

I can imagine who's saying this, who the audience is, and the futures of the kids listening just by his voice!

I loved it (obviously)!

Parkland Book