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Faceless

“I-I… Ilikeyou!” My face was burning red, but I forced myself to breathe. “I… kind of… sort of… really… like you…” I tried again, gaze now at the ground. He didn’t say anything. The need to know got me to look back up, but his face was blank. Literally. The skin tone was there, his hair was there, but he didn’t have eyes, a nose, or a mouth.
The tapping of the orchestra director brought me back from my ‘daydream’. ‘Again! Again he had no face!’ I thought to myself, frustrated. For the past week I was trying to figure out how I was going to confess to Vaughn. During winter break I had decided that he must be told on the last day of school. ‘And yet… I can’t think of how he’s going to react!’ At least once a day my thoughts would slip to that day, and I would confess differently. But each time, he would have no face.
With a quick jab in our direction, I came into the piece, playing off pure muscle memory. My thoughts were still in the day five weeks from now. ‘Why can’t I think of his reaction? I’ve seen all his facial expressions! I know his personality well!’ I messed up, snapping me back to reality once more.
~
The rest of my day went on like that, with me constantly trying to figure it out. Eventually I gave myself a massive headache, and decided to retire for the night.
~
Once more I found myself at the corner where Vaughn and I split ways to go home. “A-Ah, Vaughn! Hold up!” I called to his back. He turned, a look of confusion on his face. “Er… can we talk a bit?”
“Sure.” He came back over, his hazel eyes showing just how confused he was. ‘At least he isn’t trying to get away from me…’ “What’s up?”
My gaze went down to the cement, and I found myself watching an ant line. “I… uhm… Ah…. Ne-never mind. It isn’t important.” I turned to go home, face a bright red, but one of his hands grabbed my arm, holding me in place.
“No. Something’s up. What is it?” I glanced up and was met with a surprise. His face was still there. His eyebrows were furrowed with concern and worry.
An idea came to mind – what if his face kept going blank because I kept looking down? It was a long shot, but I decided it was worth a try. Finally a bit confident in my confession, I took a breath. “I like you. A lot.”
Immediately, his face was wiped.
I shot up in my bed, terrified and frustrated. “Why does it do that?!” I hissed to myself, putting my head in my hands and tugging at my hair. I texted one of my close guy friends, Len, knowing he would still be up and able to use logic.
To Sid: Okay, I’m sorry if I woke you, but I figured you’d still be awake. I’m having some issues. Every time I think of what would happen when I confess to Vaughn, his face completely blanks! I manage to get out the fact that I like him, then all his facial features just disappear. He has no eyes, no nose, no mouth. What do you think?
I sent it before I could back out, as I did so often. After a few minutes, I figured he had been asleep after all, and that I’d have to wait until morning for an answer. I rolled out of bed and hit the floor, groaning at the prodding in my sides. “Well, that didn’t exactly work,” I groaned, rolling off my glasses, wiping the smudges off, and putting them on.
My phone vibrated before I could get myself to sit up, and my hand snatched it off my bed.
From Sid: I thought you were supposed to be the one that’s good with this? It’s obvious, Dani. Your subconscious knows he likes you back, but you keep rejecting it, so it’s turned into a blank face.
My face heated up, and I had to bite my lips closed. Squealing at one in the morning wasn’t a very good idea. Newly energized, I jumped off the floor and did a little jig. My phone buzzed again, and I checked my new message.
From Sid: It may also be because you just don’t want to accept what his reaction would be.
I collapsed back onto the ground, groaning once more.
To Sid: Thanks for that high then killing me. -_-





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