My heart stops, I struggle for my breath. I can't find you, I'm calling out your name, but your no where to be found. I'm panicking, my chest is in a knot, my heart feels like it's dropped to my stomach. My body is numb and feels terrifyingly weak. I'm gasping for air while calling out your name. Every Time I scream my chest feels weaker, like I mite collapse. But I have to find you, I have got to figure out where your at. I can't leave you here, not that I would if I could even get up. Screaming your name, my mouth is getting dry like the desert. I'm having to give up. My lungs can't take it, I can't get enough air, my chest feels weaker. I don't know what's going on. I lay there helpless on the ground. I hear your voice in the distance, your calling my name. I try to call out to you, but my throat wont let me. Your voice is getting closer, next thing I know your down on the ground beside me. I smile, but I can't make out your face, I know who you are because of your voice, but I can barely open my eyes. All I can see is darkness and small bits of your face. You stroke your hand across my forehead and tell me it's going to be okay. I try to smile, and I try to open my eyes wide, I can finally see. The expression on your face was worried and terrified. I wanted to ask what was wrong so bad, but I was at the point where my whole body was numb and my chest felt like it was cut open. I can smell smoke and gas. You just grab my hand and tell me you love me and that we'll be okay. I hear a explosion and smell more smoke. Your eyes show a reflection of what is going on. I want to turn my head and see for myself, I want to get up and run away, but I can't. I close my eyes because the scene that I'm seeing in your eyes is to scary and I'm in to much of pain. Next thing I remember is being picked up and put on something. Then I screamed, I was in so much pain. You grabbed my hand and told me that I was getting help and I love you. There was so many unfamiliar people around. I remember flashing lights and what looked like paramedics. I tried to move my head up to see what was going on, they pushed me down. Then there was blood, lots of blood. I screamed again. My veins felt like there was fire running through them, my legs felt numb, my chest felt open. I couldn't breathe, then there was a lot more panicking and you started crying. I looked at you and mouthed I love you, you said it back. The paramedics were panicking, you were crying. I was dead. You fell to your knees and screamed. You cussed at yourself for driving too fast and your Jeep flipping. You cursed the paramedics for not getting there in time. You blamed yourself. I was dead, and in your eyes it was because of you. It wasn't your fault, I wasn't supposed to die. But like on that napkin I wrote on during our first date, everything happens for a reason. You went back to the scene the next day, and through all the smoke and fire, there was the napkin. On the back of it, it said I love you till the day I'm gone and some. You held it tight and cried. You kept that napkin in your pocket, and I watched over you. Sometimes I haunted you in your dreams, and you would wake up screaming or crying. But you still lived out your life. And we kept our promises to each other. I loved you till the day I died and then some. And you kept that napkin till the day you died, and you loved me till the day you died.
Till the Day I Die and Some
April 21, 2012