Lucky | Teen Ink

Lucky

April 14, 2012
By Jipsi BRONZE, Maplewood, Minnesota
Jipsi BRONZE, Maplewood, Minnesota
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Day 1: Sometimes I wonder if there's a word for every single feeling that you feel. Is there a word for that feeling you get when you break Mommy's favorite glass vase? Is there a word for the feeling you get when you make it to the tippy top of the playground? I'm not looking for words like accomplished, or guilt, I'm looking for words like happy or sad. You don't associate accomplishment or guilt with a color, but happiness is yellow and sadness is blue. The feeling I'm feeling now there is a word for, and a color association. We don't have the most money right now, because living in the suburbs is pricey. And Mommy likes the house a lot so sometimes we go without a couple of meals. It's fine with me. This feeling is called hunger. It's white. It's empty and innocent at the same time. Pure because there is no goodness or badness to tarnish it. Nothing lives inside of white, except the standard of perfection. And perfection is like subzero. It's known about but who's going to prove it?

Day 2: I don't care that this is the second day without food. As long as I have Lucky. I bought Lucky with the own chore money I earned. She's got a missing eye but that's why she's lucky. Ignorance is bliss. She doesn't get to see Mommy not come home. She doesn't get to see Mommy cry. She just gets to see whatever is on the right side opposed to the left side. She gets to see my Pokemon bed sheets and my Powerpuff Girl pajamas (she likes my dresser.) Lucky makes me Lucky too. She shares what she has though she didn't chose to. Kind of like Mommy with me.

Day 3: Christmas is coming up. I told Santa that I didn't want anything.

Day 4: Lucky is gone! I can't find her and tomorrow is Christmas! Who's going to decorate the tree last minute with me (Mommy procrastinates when all her tears are gone.)?!?!? Who's going to make gingerbread cookies with me? Who's going to sing along with Destiny's Child and Mariah Carey's Christmas song's album?

Day 5: After a big Christmas Eve feast, Mommy told me she threw Lucky away, and she bought me 10 other bears. They have both eyes, the left one too. But they didn't see Mommy cry. Mommy was smiling. She thinks I like the bears but I don't. I miss Lucky.

Day 6: I don't care that is the second day with food. As long as I don't have Lucky.

Day 7: Sometimes I wonder if there's a word for every single feeling that you feel. Is there a word for the feeling you get when you tell you're Mother she is wrong? Is there a word for the feeling you get when you miss something so much that you wish you could die? I'm not looking for words like inconsiderate or half-empty, I'm looking for words like sorrow or anger. You don't associate inconsiderate or half-empty with a color, but sorrow is purple and anger is red. The feeling I'm feeling now there is a word for, and a color association. She must of lost her heart somehow, because thinking you need money is deadly. And Mommy likes the house a lot so sometimes I forget that she loves me more than what I live inside. It's not fine with me. this feeling is called hate. It's black It's empty and innocent at the same time. Pure because there is no goodness or badness to tarnish it. Nothing lives inside of black, except the standard slimming perfection. And slimming perfection is like a pair of jeans. We turn around and ask, "Does this make my butt look big?"


The author's comments:
I was inspired to write this piece when I had wrote a memoir about my very own stuffed animal named Lucky and the pain I felt when I had lost her when I was younger. I wanted to amplify how "taken for granted" the child mind is, when it truly is an in-depth thing.

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