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Student Club Advisor 2

“Um…” I didn’t know what to do. To be honest, I hadn’t really had much experience talking with girls in the past. My Middleschool had been an all-boys school (I know, go figure) and so aside from my mother, I hadn’t had any real female contact in three years.

“Um…” the girl who had been standing by the window was starting to look nervous as well. “S-so…are you a student-teacher?”

“Huh?” I replied dumbly. I hadn’t really expected that.

“Oh, w-well, you seem pretty young to be a club advisor,” the girl (Haruka Ooshima, wasn’t it?) stammered. “So I was just wondering.”

“Oh!” I realized, and nervously started to laugh. “No, no. I’m with the Student Council. Our President said that since Miyazawa-san couldn’t find a teacher to be her advisor, I would have to fill in.”

“Oh!” Ooshima-sama realized and started to laugh nervously as well. “I see.”

“Yes,” I nodded.

“Okay,” Ooshima-sama smiled.

“Right,” I smiled.

We just sort of stood there for a while, neither of us being brave enough to start up a conversation.

“Right, finished!” Miyazawa-san smiled triumphantly as she stood up with the club application. Spotting a chance to escape, I immediately took it.

“I’ll just take this down to the Student Council then,” I held out my hand to take the paper. However, Miyazawa-san had other plans.

“No, no, no,” she wagged her finger at me. “I’ll do it. You should get acquainted with everyone.”

But I didn’t want to get acquainted with everyone! I didn’t know how to talk to these girls, and I knew that that could only lead to disaster. However, Miyazawa-san wasn’t giving any ground, so with a sigh, I resigned myself.

“Okay,” I said. “Go on.”

“Right,” Miyazawa-san smiled and walked out of the clubroom.

I looked around at the club room. It was pretty modest in size. There was a step halfway across the room, so the back half was taller than the front half. On the front half of the room, one wall had the door leading out, while the other had a couch (which Matsushita-sama was sitting on), and the third wall was bare. The back half of the room had a window that covered an entire wall, bookshelves covering another, and a big desk with seats around it placed near the third wall. It seemed like a really nice room.

“Um,” I stopped admiring the room to be brought back to cruel, harsh reality. Ooshima-sama started speaking nervously to me again. “Would you like to sit down?”

Oh cr**! A question! How was I supposed to react? Okay, let’s see. If I were to say yes, then that might be rude, because then Ooshima-san would still be standing. But if I were to say no, then she might be insulted that I refused her offer of hospitality. Da**it, what answer should I give!?!

“Uh…” I only managed to get out, before I was thankfully saved by Matsushita-sama closing her book and getting up with a sigh.

“’Sigh’, blast it. I keep on telling myself to just wait until all the tankoobon come out. But no, when the next installment comes out, I rush out to buy it and thus kill myself with newfound anticipation as each book gives out more cliff-hangers. When will you ever learn, Sayaka? Honestly-” Suddenly, she noticed me and looked up with perplexed eyes. “Who are you?” she asked.

“What?” I didn’t understand. “Miyazawa-san just said that I was going to be the new club advisor.”

“Really?” Matsushita-sama blinked. It looked like she really didn’t remember. “Well Miyazawa should know better than that. I never remember anything that goes on in the outside world when I’m reading manga.”

Now it was my turn to sigh. “’Sigh’, okay. My name is Hideyoshi Hikuro. It’s very nice to meet you.” I bowed again.

Suddenly the girl gave out something akin to a gasp or a slurp (I’m not really sure which). “Hideyoshi?” she barely whispered.

“Um…yes?” I said. Uh-oh.

“Hideyoshi, the Dark Angel! Raised from peasant to Emperor, he and Masamune would become the greatest heroes of all time together!” Matsushita-sama launched into a full-blown ad. She seemed really passionate about this.

“I have a best friend named Masamune,” I suddenly blurted out. I don’t know why.

Slowly, Matsushita-sama turned towards me, making that same gasp-slurp noise for some reason. After about a minute of looking at me like that, she crawled on her hands and knees across the floor and up to grab my shirt.

“YOU HAVE TO COSPLAY AS HIDEYOSHI!!!” she gasp-slurped. “IF YOU DID, IT WOULD BE THE MOST EPIC THING EVER!!!!”

“Um, wait,” Ooshima-sama got her voice in. “Weren’t Hideyoshi and Masamune more like enemies than friends?”

“In real life, maybe,” Matsushita-sama turned to Ooshima-sama as though I wasn’t there. “But in the manga Dark Angel they become counterparts in the great cosmic battle they fight.”

“Oh,” Ooshima-sama blinked, and then sort of backed away. I didn’t blame her. I was starting to get very creeped out.

“Could you let go of me, please?” I whispered to Matsushita-sama, who suddenly looked at me with realization.

“Wait,” she suddenly jumped back. “You’re a guy!”

“Uh…” I didn’t know how to respond.

“A lone male, surrounded by beautiful girls? No!” Matsushita-sama turned snarling and pointing back to me. “I will not allow myself to be a part of this Galge!!!”

“Galge!?!” Oh no, my worst fear realized! I quickly glanced at Ooshima-sama, and she was blushing just as much as me, but now she was starting to back away from me.

“So that’s why you became our advisor?” she started to quiver.

“No!” I tried to explain. “I was just chosen at random because I’m the least valued member of the Student Council!”

“That statement is self-contradictory!” Matsushita-sama and her pointed finger got right in my face. “Ergo, it must be false; ergo you are a filthy pervert who only joined this club to get some eye-candy!”

Oh God! My exact mental wording! That was it. I was dead. Any hope of bridging the massive abyss between us had now forever vanished, although really it might not have ever existed to begin with. Left with no other choice, I hung my head and bowed deeply.

“I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience I’ve caused you both,” I humbly said. “I shall take my leave of you immediately.”

I then proceeded to walk out the door. Who was I kidding? I had never had a chance with these people in the first place. We were too fundamentally different. I was a quiet, bookish lad, and they were…well, teenage girls. There had to be someone in the Student Council who was way more qualified to deal with this sort of thing. I was sure Kojima-sama could find someone. In the end, I was just a burden, a complication in the chance for these girls to have fun. I had to leave, it was the only option. I just couldn’t-

“Ah, ahhhh,” the girl jumped up and stumbled in surprise as I opened the door to find her standing there. It was Miyazawa-san, no doubt back from turning in the club application. Glancing confusedly at me and at the two other girls, Miyazawa-san asked quietly “Do you have to go to the bathroom or something, Hikuro?”

I suddenly was unsure of what to do. I knew that things would be undoubtedly complicated if I stayed. But for some reason, I found that my legs weren’t moving. I didn’t know why, but I couldn’t. This was stupid, I kept on telling myself. There was no way that this would work out. I didn’t even know what the advisor of the Poetry Club was supposed to do, much less what the Poetry Club actually was. How on Earth was this possibly supposed to work? But then I remembered how Miyazawa-san seemed when I first met her. She seemed lost, with her head in the clouds. I never would have expected her to have the courage to make a club, much less get members all on her own. And if I walked away right now, I knew that that would all fall apart. Deep down, I knew that Kojima-sama wouldn’t choose anyone else. If I turned down the job of advisor, she would let the club rot and be disbanded. If the club was going to survive, I knew that it was up to me. I had to decide.

“Hikuro?” Miyazawa-san started to look worried.

“So you decided to stay?” Masamune-dono asked me the next day, as we ate lunch.

“Hey, how’d you guess?” I asked. “I haven’t said what I did yet.”

“Yeah, but I know you,” Masamune-dono took a bite of fried tofu. “And you’re such a Utilitarian that there’s no way you’d let other people be unhappy, even if it meant sacrificing your own hide.”

“What’s a Utilitarian?” I furrowed my brow.

“Never mind,” Masamune-dono chuckled. “Just make sure to keep that Poetry Club alive.”

“I will,” I smiled. In the end, there really had been no choice at all. I knew that this was probably going to be exasperating for me, but in the end, I was going to stick it out no matter what. I had to. After all, I was the club advisor.




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