Father Come Back To Me | Teen Ink

Father Come Back To Me

April 4, 2012
By Sarah Gerstein BRONZE, Ardsley, New York
Sarah Gerstein BRONZE, Ardsley, New York
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Hi, my name is Charlene. I live in New York City, right by where the twin towers used to stand. I have a special power, I can remember everything. For example, the first outfit my mom put on me was a blue one piece that said Giants on it. Now I’m 13 years old and I have to deal with a lot of things; especially my dad’s death. He was firefighter before he died. He had gone into the twin towers on 9-11. He saved about ten people; but he was unable to save himself. When he died I was only 2. I remember the day exactly.

I was in pre-school and everything was fine. The sun was shining, and there wasn’t even a cloud in the sky. I remember I was playing with a doll until I saw the worried faces on my aid’s (They were always watching the news). I couldn’t really understand what they were saying, because they started to fade into the shadows. Really though, I didn’t know much English but I can remember some of it.
“Janie, look. Something is……. What’s going………” she continued for another minute or so until the next aid said, “Oh who…. What do we……” she looked over to me and she smiled this fake smile. And the last one, the most worried of them all, said very quietly, “Oh my……… Isn’t someone’s……. Firefighter?”

That’s all I could get out of it, but I knew something was up. My mom came to pick me up early because of this incident. I thought it was because I was being bad. She had her shirt and her pants on backwards. Her shoes were mismatching, but I don’t think she realized.
We went into the car and I asked her, “Mommy, where dada?” she didn’t answer me at first. It took her a couple minutes to realize what I had said. She was in a daze, not really thinking about the things around her. She nearly bumped into a car while speeding at about one-thousand miles per hour.
Finally, she told me, “Oh sweetie. Um, he’s at work” you could tell by her voice she was lying. Her voice was shaky and she couldn’t keep her face straight.
“Oh ok. Why pick me early?”
After lots of hesitation she said, “Um, because, you, I don’t know.”

The rest of the car ride was silent. At that point it was about 9:30. I remember sitting there, silently, hearing my mom whisper stuff to herself. I had no clue what she was saying, but all I could tell was that it wasn’t good.
When we got home my mom turned on the T.V and started to watch the news. Her eyes looked panicked. She was watching what was going on at the twin towers. At this point we didn’t live anywhere near there, we lived in Queens. She watched the news intently, while also glancing at her phone every few seconds. Only at elven did she receive a phone call.
“Hello?” My mom was stuttering. I couldn’t pick up what was coming through on the other line but I could get what my mom was saying. She looked worried. Her smile was turned upside down after every word the other person said.
“Oh my. Are you sure this is correct?” My mom looked like she would cry at any moment. Until she saw me. She stared at me. And stared. And stared. She ran into her room and an outburst of tears flooded the whole house. It was almost like it was raining in our home. I started to cry too. I didn’t know what was going on, so I just cried. I cried until my mom came out and came over to me.
I asked her, “Where dada?”
“Oh sweetie pie. Um….” She looked worried. Her face was red, like a bright red ballon.
“WHERE DADA?!?!” I was getting worried too.
“He won’t be home for a while sweetie. Oh please, please don’t cry.” My face turned red and I had about the equivalent of an eight year olds temper tantrum. I started to scream random of stuff. Word I didn’t even learn at the time; and words I shouldn’t have known at all.

From then on at 5 o’clock, I would wait by the door hoping my dad would come back. And at 3 o’clock in the morning, I would wake up with same dream every night. It was the worst dream ever. I dreaded going to sleep at night. My dream, I guess this is the best way to put it. He was never coming back.

When I started Kindergarten, all the kids had their moms AND dads with them. All I had was my mom. I remember asking my mom if I really had to go. She told me yes. From that day on, I made only 5 friends. Alexandra, Jasmine, Kimmy, Jordana, and Brandon. Brandon and I became so close. We were practically brother and sister. Until he dropped the question. But that’s a story I shall save for later.

Anyways, those were the only friends who accepted me for who I was. The rest of the people just bullied me for not having a dad. I had always told them that he was coming back. I knew he was going to come back. I just knew it. I knew. I really did. That was until I turned 7.

It was a beautiful morning. The sun was shining and there was not a cloud in the sky. Until my mom blocked my terrace view. Now it looked like a bunch of clouds drifted from the east and covered up this amazing morning.
“Sweetie, I have something to tell you.”
“Mom, I’m kind of doing something here you know. I mean can’t it wait?”
In a faint soft whisper she said, “It already has. Look sweetie this is important. You know how I told you daddy wouldn’t be coming home for a while?”
“Yeah, you told me that he had to leave town and go somewhere else to work. You told me he still loves you. Are you guys getting a divorce?”
“Oh sweetie, it’s quite the opposite.” Tears started streaming down her face. I had guessed they were getting a divorce, so I started crying.
“Oh sweetie. Please don’t cry. Please don’t. We’re not getting a divorce.”
“Then what’s going on?”
“Your father died. A long time ago. He died on 9/11. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I’m really truly sorry.”
“ARE YOU SERIOUS? I’VE BEEN SITTING OUTSIDE WAITING FOR HIM FOR AT LEAST 5 YEARS! AND YOU NEVER THOUGHT OF TELLING ME? NEVER?”
“Now sweetie, calm down.”

How could I calm down? I was just told that my father has been dead for the past 5 years or so. Who wouldn’t be mad? My mom kept one of the most important secrets of my lifetime; and never told me. I mean she has reasoning, but the least she could of told me was to stop waiting by the door. To stop waiting for him. That there was no use in waiting. She led me on to think he would come back.

That’s how my story starts. But it doesn’t end there. For the last six years I’ve had to put up with my mom. We never got back to the way we used to be. We moved closer to where the twin towers were, so that I could have some part of my dad with me.

This is my story; on how I’ve coped with my father’s death.

Today is Friday, February 17th 2011. Let me set the scene for you. Alexandra, Jasmine, Kimmy, Jordana, Brandon, and I are sitting in my room. We’re sitting in silence. Well in less you call my crying loud, were sitting in silence. Today is the “anniversary” of the day my mom told me that my dad was dead.
“Come on Charlene, cheer up.” Brandon was trying to be as helpful as possible. It wasn’t working but it was a nice try.
“Until my dad comes home, nothing can ever cheer me up. You guys all have wonderful parents that love and care for you. Me, I have a mom who’s crying all the time, not caring what happens to me.” They all started talking at once saying how that wasn’t true, and how their families weren’t perfect either. The only problem was, someone else was crying to. Kimmy randomly started bursting into tears.
“Kimmy, what’s wrong?” I was worried about her. She never shows her emotions.
“My… My… My... parents are getting…” I knew what the next word was going to be. I felt so bad about. It must suck to be her. I ran right up to her and gave her a great big bear hug. But then had to klet go, for my mom had just walked into the room. She had bright red heels on and tons of make-up. She looked gorgeous.
“Hey sweetie. I’m going to be gone for a little while. I got a date with this cute guy from work. He’s so sweet. You’re going to love him!” All I did was nod my head. Did she remember what day it was? She left in a rush without saying good-bye. That triggered a down pour of tears. More and more tears poured down my face. By this time I was 10 years old. Of course I could never forget this day because of my power but that didn’t matter. All I wanted was for my mom to be there with me. She dated this man for almost 2 months until I figured out the reason she had been dating him.

He was my father best friend.

My mom introduced me to him in 2012. But before that I asked my mom why she was dating him. This is exactly what she told me.
“He has brown hair, what I like in guys. He’s sweet and caring, plus he’s always there for me. But most importantly; he was your fathers best friend.”

Then I understood why she went on that first date that day. She wanted to be with someone he knew well. I hope that wasn’t the only reason she was dating him.

When I got to meet him, this is how our first conversation went:
“So, Matt. How long have you known my father?” I didn’t know what else to say. I was nervous.
“Oh, since like birth I guess. I mean I still see him some—oh, never mind”
“Did you say that my dad’s still out there? Is he stranded on an island? Is he in the city? I hope he is in the city!” I started going all crazy once I heard this. I wondered if my mom knew, but at this point I couldn’t care much!

He looked at me with that she’s-so-crazy look. I didn’t really care though.
“You have to take me to see him!”
“How about this, I let you call him.”
“Oh my god, YES, YES, YES!!! I can’t wait to hear his voice again!”

I couldn’t believe it. I had believed he was dead for this whole time—only he wasn’t! I got to talk to him for a whole hour, but our conversation in confidential. All I can say is that he told me people were after him, and he’s in hiding. He told me not to find him. It would only be a matter of weeks until he came back home.

A few weeks past. And a few more. And a few more. Okay, maybe they were only days but they felt like weeks; even years! While I was waiting for him to come home, my friends were always there for me. Mostly Brandon though, which was a little strange. I mean he was with me for almost the entire time. Never wanting to leave my side. This was the point where it got a tad awkward.
He asked me if I would be his girlfriend.

At first I didn’t know what to say. I mean we had become so close, and it would be weird to have someone as my boyfriend who is like my brother. But I said yes. No one knew about except Matt.
So today my dad called again. He said he was in trouble and needed my help. He told me to meet him at the site of the twin towers. I asked if I could bring Brandon. I told him what happened, and he said of course he could come.

We arrived at the site of the twin towers and 12:00; exactly when my dad told me. I saw someone walking toward me. He had the face of my dad; the body of my dad; and the voice of my dad! I ran over to him and hugged him stood tight. Brandon and my dad shook hands. My dad told me his whole dilemma. He said terrorists were going to try and kill him. I got so tensed up, I think I almost fainted. Brandon was there holding my hand the entire time. It helped me, but not much.

I saw someone in the corner of my eye. Of course my dad didn’t see him so he kept babbling on.
“So we must find a way to stop them. I mean…” I stopped him mid-sentence
“Dad. Dad. DAD.” In a whispered voice I said, “Who is that man behind us with the riffle?”
My dad’s face turned from red to pale as he screamed, “RUN”

The gun shots could be heard from a mile away. They were all aimed for my dad, but instead, most of them hit me. After a few second, my world went black.

I woke up in the hospital with my mom, dad, and Brandon around me. They all looked relived I was awake.
“What happened?” I was in a daze. I felt like I was about to die, but I don’t think I did. My parent told me what happened. I turned on the T.V and guess what was on. Me, on the news, getting shot about 5 times. Great, now everyone in the world knows about what happened. Maybe it’s a good thing though. I’ll think about that for a while.
“Are you sure you’re OK?” Brandon was worried, I could tell. His face was pale; as if he was about to faint.
“Miss Charlene. There are a couple of people that want to see you.” I started to tense up. What if it was the police asking for a description of the man with the riffle? What if it was the man with the riffle and his gang of friends? What if, what if, what if.
But all my worrying was for nothing. There were five people walking in. They were my idols and I loved them so much!

They were One Direction.

If you don’t know who One Direction is you must live on your couch and do nothing all day. One Direction is only the most AMAZING band in the world. They tried out for the X-Factor all as solo performers. They all didn’t make to the live show as soloists, but Simon Cowell made them a group. They placed third place, but that didn’t matter. They were still amazing. They have one album, and I know all the lyrics to all of their songs.

They walked in singing “That’s What Makes You Beautiful”. I don’t think they knew but that was my favorite song. Harry came in first, followed by Zayn, Liam, Niall and Louis. They were so sweet and so nice. They were all so caring and stuff. They gave me backstage passes for every show I could make, and they even gave me their cell phone numbers. Though I don’t know if their real, but I’ll check later.

They stayed for about an hour and then said they had to go. I was so happy they came. Once they left, I fell into a deep slumber my parents never thought I would wake up from.


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on Apr. 10 2012 at 7:06 pm
BloglessBlogger GOLD, Somerset, California
10 articles 1 photo 67 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't let the fear of striking out keep keep you from playing the game."

You should write more to this. It's amazing and could easily be turned into a Novel ;)