A Change in the Game

March 26, 2012
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?Jeremy sat there, in his armless swivel computer chair, blankly gazing across his room, engulfed in thoughts of ‘how’ and ‘when.’ He was massively stressed and things appeared to keep getting exhaustingly worse. Usually, well-organized and on a tight schedule; 6:45 a.m. Wake up and get ready for the day, 7:00 a.m. Go down stairs and eat breakfast, 7:15 a.m. Finish eating and brush teeth, and 7:30 a.m. Leave for school, etc… But lately Jeremy’s organization had almost entirely collapsed. He was forgetting assignments, losing track of time, zoning-out and staring off into space. It was a perilous journey across a desert of distractions and he was low on water. Having lost almost a full twenty four hours of sleep, Jeremy sat there at his writing desk in the far corner of his dimly lit, green colored room, trying to stay awake long enough to do his homework at the last minute, but the ability to spin around in circles, granted to him by his chair, proved to be another merciless distraction. His whole life was being sucked down a sink-hole of worthlessness. All his life he aspired to go to college, become a doctor, and be able to retire and settle down so as to spoil his future grandkids, but that just seemed like a foggy thought now. His life was literally like one of those cliché, crumpled-up pieces of paper that a writer spends so much time on then has thrown it away so effortlessly.
?It had all started three weeks ago, right before Jeremy’s daily workout. He was ready to start on his dad’s old elliptical machine when a sudden feeling of boredom seemed to have came out of the blue and smack him right in the face.  The rest of that day all Jeremy did was sit around, slumped into the brown, overly soft couch, and stare at the television, not even really watching it, just using it as noise to keep him company while he thought of irrelevant things. Since then, the horrible feeling haunted Jeremy, preventing him from falling asleep. The feeling had even made him to easily distracted for sleep. He spent his nights staring at his ceramic-white ceiling fan spin in its monotonous rotation in a hypnotic state. His thoughts no longer ran in straight lines but, instead, went every which way, like his mind was a big box of bouncy-balls that some child had over-enthusiastically shaken up, constantly random, bouncing thoughts everywhere.

Jeremy hated it, but he had no idea of how to stop the incessant feeling of abnormal boredom. Every time he would come close to a solution, his thoughts would zigzag to useless things like, "What's the chemical formula of apple pie?" or "What's the purpose of a mosquito in life?" All these things just kept the monstrous mass of strenuous stress, atop Jeremy's back, growing and making him feel laden with burdens like this last minute home work he was supposed to be doing. Jeremy's clock now read 2:15 a.m. and a feeling of sleepiness made his eyes shut and his head strain to stay up right. He had to get this assignment done though, he forced his eyes open for about a second before the sheer force of exhaustion made them close again.

Jeremy then thought of something that wasn't so random. Why did he have tis awful feeling of distraction lingering over him? Was he depressed? Was he just crazy. Was he in love? No. No he was not any of those things. And as he prepared to lean back and fall asleep  in his computer chair, there was a small spark of determination in the back of his brain. He snapped open his eyes, grabbed his pencil and started writing. And he wrote... For about ten seconds, then the spark was gone and Jeremy sat there in his tangled mess of emotions, stress, and distractions.

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