Hot Chocolate and Hope

March 21, 2012
By SElahi BRONZE, Burr Ridge, Illinois
SElahi BRONZE, Burr Ridge, Illinois
4 articles 1 photo 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the change you wish to see in the world."


I ran down 77th Street after Jacob. I didn’t understand what was wrong; he’d been ignoring me all day. We’d been best friends since we were in diapers, and now, all of a sudden, he was acting like he’d never known that I existed. I almost lost him several times in the busy city crowd, but I finally caught up to him outside the huge bookstore on the corner. I cornered him against the chipped brick wall, and I finally got a chance to catch my breath. But something caught me off guard. He was glaring, his piercing blue `eyes staring daggers into me. We’d never disagreed about anything, so once I was breathing normally again, I started to talk.

“What is the matter with you? I’ve been chasing you and calling your name for the last ten blocks! What’s the problem?”

I’d known him forever, so by now I could tell when something was on his mind. Needless to say, this was one of those times.

I asked again, more gently this time: “Jake, don’t try to fool me. I can tell when something is bothering you. What’s going on?”

Jacob was hesitating. I knew he was keeping something from me. I couldn’t stand seeing my best friend like this, so I took his hand. “Come on. Let’s go get some hot chocolate.”

Together, we walked down the street and turned the corner. We entered our favorite coffee shop, where we’d been so many times that the workers knew us personally. As usual, the shop was full, with impatient customers yelling their orders to the busy workers who were struggling to keep up with the mob.

I saw a familiar person in a baseball cap and an apron. Shawn, the owner, called, “Jacob! Margaret! What can I get for my two best customers?”

I hollered back, “Two hot chocolates, please! Thanks, Shawn!”

Thankfully, most of the customers today had orders to go, so a lot of the tables were empty. I led Jacob to a table for two in the back and propped my heavy backpack up against the wall. Soon after, a waiter brought our drinks to the table. I sifted through the junk in my wallet to get out exact change, and paid him. Jacob hadn’t said a word the whole time. I didn’t want to push him too hard, but I just had to get an answer out of him.

Cautiously, trying to sound upbeat, I said, “Too hot, as usual. I’m going to get a stirrer. Need one, Jake?”

Still looking down, he nodded his head. Even after I came back with the small plastic stirrers, he was silent. I stirred my drink, watching for any change in behavior. Nothing. I couldn’t figure out what I’d done to upset him this much. I kept waiting, and waiting, and waiting, sipping the warm drink, and finally, he took a deep breath and started to talk.

“Maggie, if I tell you something, do you promise to keep it to yourself? Okay, calm down and take that worried look off of your face. Nobody’s in trouble…well, not legally or anything…it’s just that something’s really bothering me, and I don’t know what to do.”

I was taken aback. “Jake, you know you can always tell me anything! You know I’ll keep it to myself. You know I’ll help you through whatever’s troubling you. And you know that we’ll come up with a solution, together.”

I was shocked to see tears streaming down his face. He took another deep breath, and said quietly, almost in a whisper, “Maggie, Mom has cancer.”

It was like a slap in the face. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined something this bad could happen to someone so close to me, especially after Grandpa had been so sick. I thought of Jacob’s mom as my second mom. I was speechless for a while, trying to come up with something appropriate to say, but it was like my mind was a chalkboard and somebody had wiped it clean.

He wiped his eyes and started talking again: “She went to the doctor a few weeks back, and they could tell something was wrong. They sent her to an oncologist, and they did some tests, and, well…they confirmed it, Maggie. She was diagnosed with colon cancer. She’s going to need surgery, and maybe chemotherapy for the next several months. Months! I don’t know if I can deal with this. I don’t know how the rest of my family is going to deal with it, either. Cancer can be fatal! Would she be able to work? Even take care of my sisters and me anymore? How will she look? She could lose her hair from the chemo! She’s spent such a long time growing it out long! This is going to change all of our lives forever!”

I was quiet for a little while, but I finally knew what to say. “You know what? When Grandpa had cancer, I make a huge mistake. I assumed the worst. I thought it was the end of the world for all of us. Jake, I know this is going to be tough for you, and the rest of your family, for that matter, but think of all of the positives! Be grateful that someone found it while it’s still curable. Be thankful that we’re living in a time where we have the knowledge of medicine and treatment that can help your mom survive. She might not even need the chemo! The surgery alone might do the trick.”

Jake protested, “I know, Maggie, but what if—“

I interrupted him, “Look, I know it’ll be hard for you to cope with this, but you need to be strong, for your mom. Look at Grandpa now! He’s better than he’s ever been before! He runs, he bikes, he even dances—quite badly, I might add. It’s been seven years since he beat cancer, but his life hasn’t changed in the least. There is a big chance that your mom will survive. There’s a big chance that nothing will change. Don’t make the same mistake I did. Don’t make her feel like there’s no hope, because honestly, Jake, there is. Show her that. Prove it to her.”

Jacob was silent. I could tell he was thinking hard, because he was staring at the table like he’d never seen it before. I didn’t know how I expected him to respond; maybe I thought he was going to contradict me again, because I was surprised when he finally spoke. “Maggie, you know what? I don’t know what I’d do without you. You are absolutely right. Sulking won’t make Mom healthy again. You know how much you mean to me, right? You’re like my sister. ”

Now it was my turn to choke up. Unable to put my feelings into words, I gave him a slight smile and a nod. Though we exchanged no words, we both knew how the other felt, and knowing that I’d helped my best friend out of a tough situation was the best feeling in the world.

Jacob stood up and offered his hand to me. He helped me up and handed me my backpack, and without another word, he led me out of the coffee shop, ready to conquer any obstacle that came in his way.

The author's comments:
This story was inspired by my maternal grandparents, both of whom stayed strong and beat cancer.

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 43 comments.


on Jan. 9 2015 at 3:49 pm
officialmallory, Amarillo, Texas
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Just follow me and run like your life depends on it. Because it does.”
― James Dashner, The Maze Runner

Awesome job! I love the diolouge!:)

SElahi BRONZE said...
on Jan. 17 2014 at 10:54 am
SElahi BRONZE, Burr Ridge, Illinois
4 articles 1 photo 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

Thank you! I had forgotten that I wrote this...it's been almost two years! I just wrote something new that should be up in a few weeks...please keep an eye out :)

on Jan. 15 2014 at 1:20 am
KaytaRoseT BRONZE, Olympia, Washington
2 articles 3 photos 4 comments
GREAT story!

SElahi BRONZE said...
on May. 8 2012 at 4:56 pm
SElahi BRONZE, Burr Ridge, Illinois
4 articles 1 photo 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

That's so funny! but that's my first initial and last name, Elahi :) but thanks for the feedback!

on May. 7 2012 at 6:12 pm
selahoverrated GOLD, Mt Sidney, Virginia
11 articles 0 photos 43 comments
hey i saw your name and i couldnt help but be curious....because my name is Selah....so yeah...very good, heartbreaking story.

on May. 2 2012 at 7:02 am
Itsbeenalongday SILVER, Hendersonville, North Carolina
7 articles 0 photos 27 comments

Favorite Quote:
The Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time!

THIS IS A GOOD STORY

SElahi BRONZE said...
on Apr. 30 2012 at 4:55 pm
SElahi BRONZE, Burr Ridge, Illinois
4 articles 1 photo 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

Oh, ok. Thanks

on Apr. 30 2012 at 4:21 pm
WSwilliams GOLD, Toronto, Ontario, Other
12 articles 3 photos 95 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you keep writing, you will pick up structure. You will pick up form

- Richard Matheson

It is such an underated story. Lots of people are talking about your story, and I think you should get published. But, I guess the only thing you can do is be humble and wait for your story to rise to the top.

SElahi BRONZE said...
on Apr. 30 2012 at 12:09 pm
SElahi BRONZE, Burr Ridge, Illinois
4 articles 1 photo 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

Thank you so much! That's great advice, and I'm sure it'll help me become a better writer. I really appreciate it :D Please spread the word!

SElahi BRONZE said...
on Apr. 30 2012 at 12:09 pm
SElahi BRONZE, Burr Ridge, Illinois
4 articles 1 photo 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

Thank you so much! That's great advice, and I'm sure it'll help me become a better writer. I really appreciate it :D Please spread the word!

Katsa08 SILVER said...
on Apr. 30 2012 at 10:55 am
Katsa08 SILVER, Sidney, Iowa
5 articles 0 photos 42 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't take yourself so seriously, no one else does."
"What others think of me is none of my business."

Alright, I enjoyed this a lot, but I'm a firm believer in constructive criticism to help you grow, so, there's more. :)

 

First, I congratulate you on your topic choice, it's a good way to get people's attention and keep it, since it's so relatable. Second, maybe you should work on making your sentences flow a little more. Some of the areas were a little choppy. Third, make sure you feel strongly about this, from whatever perspective you're writing it from. It'll be so much more powerful if you put your full self into it. Some sections seemed like you were breezing through it. My advice: Milk the emotional stuff for all it's worth. ;)

Overall, great job, I can feel your writing style developing. The only thing your missing is your personal voice, and that only comes with time and experience. I doubt one person on this site has a well-developed voice, myself included. But it's something to work towards. Keep writing! :D


SElahi BRONZE said...
on Apr. 29 2012 at 4:09 pm
SElahi BRONZE, Burr Ridge, Illinois
4 articles 1 photo 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

Just wondering though, why were you surprised that I have so many comments?

SElahi BRONZE said...
on Apr. 29 2012 at 3:59 pm
SElahi BRONZE, Burr Ridge, Illinois
4 articles 1 photo 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

Firstly, I'm very sorry about your grandfather. But thank you for your suggestions. I'll definitely take them into note. Thanks :)

on Apr. 29 2012 at 3:16 pm
WSwilliams GOLD, Toronto, Ontario, Other
12 articles 3 photos 95 comments

Favorite Quote:
If you keep writing, you will pick up structure. You will pick up form

- Richard Matheson

I was surprised you had so many comments on this story. I like how you portrayed the characters' reaction to their Mom having cancer. This kinda reminded me of how my grandpa fought his theiroid cancer. He stayed with it until the end, but unfortunately, he died. To amke thsi story better, find something that will hit the reader hard like when I found out my Grandpa had cancer. My only critique for this is to try and compact this whole story and make it shorter. You can say a lot of things using a few words. Also, put more body action into your characters. This will help show the reader what they are feeling. Remember, show not tell. I would also, look at how you organize your paragraphs. All in all, you're a talented writer and I believe you can write things teens can relate to and talk about. 

SElahi BRONZE said...
on Apr. 29 2012 at 2:49 pm
SElahi BRONZE, Burr Ridge, Illinois
4 articles 1 photo 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

Thanks!!!!

SElahi BRONZE said...
on Apr. 28 2012 at 8:58 pm
SElahi BRONZE, Burr Ridge, Illinois
4 articles 1 photo 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

Thank you so much! That's really encouraging. I'm trying my best to get this published into the print magazine, so please keep voting and spread the word. I really appreciate it!

on Apr. 28 2012 at 8:26 pm
Alice-Love BRONZE, Indianapolis, Indiana
1 article 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't cry because it's over, but smile because it happened

oh my god. i REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY love it!!!!!! im the emotional type and i thought this was so good i almost cried. REALLY keep it up:)

SElahi BRONZE said...
on Apr. 28 2012 at 5:53 pm
SElahi BRONZE, Burr Ridge, Illinois
4 articles 1 photo 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

Thanks so much! Please spread the word :)

on Apr. 28 2012 at 3:26 pm
realbeautifulheart PLATINUM, Livermore, California
21 articles 1 photo 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is a package that you have to sign for. Yes, it's free. No, there's no guarantee as to what it holds. Open with caution, it's 'FRAGILE'." (I made this up.)

Awesome! Very relatable how this story shows real events, emotions, and a personal solution of supportive friendship and keeping a positive mindset to help through a hard time. Keep up the great work! :)

SElahi BRONZE said...
on Apr. 25 2012 at 9:15 pm
SElahi BRONZE, Burr Ridge, Illinois
4 articles 1 photo 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

Thanks so much! Please spread the word :)


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